Total Divas
by KGStutts
Summary: (a/u oc) WWE diva Jessie Coleman has been roped into being a part of an all-diva reality show. As she picks up the pieces of her shattered personal life in front of the cameras, she struggles to answer a question imprinted on her heart: Does she still love the father of her two children, CM Punk or does she dare to trust her heart to an old flame, Dean Ambrose?
1. Chapter 1

I gave a cold look over to the director, who looked over at me anxiously. I didn't really want to be a part of this reality show, having cameras follow me around during my day to day life. But Stephanie McMahon personally asked me to join the show. How could I turn her down?

It was a new concept for wrestling: an all-female reality show called Total Divas to air on the E! Network. For the next several months, a crew would be following me and several of the other divas in the WWE around, filming our private lives.

I sat in a chair as the director explained what he wanted: to film an intro for the first episode. I sighed, brushing back my dark brown hair and sighed.

"Whenever you're ready." He told me.

I gave him a half smile before nodding. The green light lit up on the camera, filming had started.

"Hi, I'm Jessie. But you know me better in the WWE as Juliet." I introduced myself. "I've been a WWE diva for about six years now. I've been wrestling for a little over ten years. That makes me a veteran in the locker room."

"Tell us some more personal information." The director encouraged.

"I have two beautiful girls with another wrestler, whom you know as CM Punk. Shannon is six and Amy is four."

"And what is your relationship like with Punk?" I was asked.

"Phil and I have been on and off for about ten years. It's...it's a bit of an odd situation right now. We broke up after Wrestlemania this year and he started seeing another diva and one of my good friends, AJ Lee. We still live in Chicago and he does spend as much time with the girls as he can, which is never easy."

"Awesome. Thanks, Jessie." The director said, excusing me.

I had a feeling that I would regret signing up for this stupid show.

I tried my best to ignore the camera guy that followed me out of the room. Shannon and Amy were sitting in the family viewing area backstage with one of my best friends, Seth Rollins.

"Momma!" Shannon rushed over to me, jumping up in my arms.

"Thanks for watching them for me at the last second." I told Seth as Amy wrapped her arms around my leg.

"Punk bailed on you again, eh?" He raised an eyebrow.

I gave him a reproachful look. One thing that I always strive to do was never talk bad about my girl's father in front of them. Seth nodded, clearly understanding when I ignored his comment.

"Girls, it's getting late. Come on, let's get you to the bus and then it's time for bed." I said.

"Ah, Momma." Amy whined.

"We're not sleepy." Shannon protested in the middle of a yawn.

"Yes you are. No arguments." I said, sliding Shannon onto one hip and scooping up Amy.

Thankfully, Seth offered to help me with my bags. Sure enough, Amy snuggled up in my neck and fell asleep before we got to the bus.

"They had already brushed their teeth." Seth told me as I laid Amy down in her bunk.

"Thanks." I whispered as I lowered Shannon onto her bunk.

"You really should think about a nanny." Seth said with a grin.

"Phil and I always said that we wanted to raise our girls." I shook my head. "I don't want hired help."

"Yet Phil hasn't been around much, as he?" Seth asked.

"Stop." I warned.

"Jessie, you know I love you. And you're strong for your girls, but you don't need to put up a front with me." Seth urged, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I looked at him thoughtfully before nodding. "Want a ride to Birmingham?"

Seth flashed a grin that would normally make a woman's heart melt. We've been best friends for going on ten years now. The ship had sailed many years ago on anything romantic. I didn't see Seth that way.

"Thought you would never ask."

The cough from the camera man made me jump, having forgotten that he was there. I glared towards the camera, to which the guy shrugged.

Seth reappeared a few minutes later, rolling his bag in. I signaled to the driver that we were ready. I looked out the window as the building we wrestled in tonight in Montgomery, Alabama began to grow smaller in the distance.

"So what's going on with you and Punk?" Seth asked, popping open a beer and handing me one.

"I wish I knew." I sighed. "He moved out last month and then I get a text that he's dating AJ. A text." I reiterated.

"Ouch." Seth wrinkled up his nose. "Are you okay?"

"I guess." I shrugged. "I guess I'm just tired of the whole situation. We break up, he starts sleeping around while I sit and wait for him. He comes back to me, things are great for a while, then the cycle starts over."

"Why do you do this to yourself? You're far too good of a woman to sit on the sidelines."

"When things are great, it's really great." I take a sip from my beer.

"And that's the problem, isn't it?" Seth asked.

I nodded. I've known for years that Phil wasn't the marrying guy. Last time we broke up was almost five years ago. I got pregnant with Amy right after we got back together. I told Seth that things were going too good for us lately. When Shannon asked him why we hadn't gotten married, I knew that spelled trouble. Sure enough, I was right.

"Do you still love him?" Seth finally asked the question that I had asked myself many times over the last two months.

"You know what?" I took another gulp from my beer. "I'll get back to you on that."

Seth studied my face, looking like he was deciding to say something.

"I know that look. Out with it." I encouraged.

"Mox has been asking about you."

I tried to suppress my smile. "Has he?"

Jon Good. Aka Jon Moxley, or Mox. Aka Dean Ambrose on TV. I've known Mox for several years. We dated when Phil and I broke up the last time.

Seth knew the story. I was with Mox when Phil came crawling back to me. I felt like there was something special between me and Mox, but after everything I had been through with Phil, I was scared. Mox actually encouraged me to go back to Phil, telling me that Shannon deserved her mom and dad to be together.

Sometimes, I wish I hadn't taken Phil back that summer. I wish I had told Phil that our time had passed and to move on, like I had wanted to. But Mox's words struck a cord with me. A few months later, I found out that Amy was coming.

"He would never come out and admit it to me, but I think he regrets breaking up with you." Seth told me.

I emptied my beer can, tossing it into the trash without getting up from my seat.

"Three points." I muttered.

"Jessie." Seth evenly said, bringing my attention back to him.

"I don't." I shook my head. "Saying that I do means saying that I regret Amy, which I don't in the slightest."

"Okay, so let me ask you another question then."

"Do I wish I was with him now?" I asked.

Seth chuckled. "Yeah."

"I'll get back to you on that as well."


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up the next morning to feel Seth pressed up against my back. It wasn't unusual for our chat sessions to end up as a slumber party. His arm was draped around my waist, our legs intertwined. I wondered when exactly we fell asleep. A half-drunk beer can sat on the nightstand. We were still fully dressed. The sun was coming through the tiny window in the bus.

"What time is it?" I muttered out loud.

Without disturbing him, I reached across to my nightstand and grabbed my phone. Shit. 7:30 am. The girls would be waking up soon.

The sound of my door gently shutting without the pitter-patter of little feet running alerted me that the camera guy had joined us.

"This isn't what it looks like." I said, turning my head in his direction.

"Sure." He told me with a grin.

"It's not."

I had no idea why I felt the need to defend myself to this man. So what if he thought I slept with Seth? It's not like he filmed our night. And if he had, he would have known that nothing happened.

I chuckled slightly. A few of my girl friends, even some in the locker room, would love to be in the position I am now. As I moved, Seth tightened his arm around me.

"It's too early." He groaned, pressing his lips against the back of my neck.

I froze. This wasn't usual. He groaned again, pulling me even tighter to him, so there was no space in between our bodies. The discomfort set in when I felt him beginning to grow hard against me.

"Wake up." I said, slapping his hip.

"Huh? What?" Seth groggily groaned.

I removed his arm and pushed him away. Not a moment too soon as I heard the girls giggling as they burst through the door.

"Morning! Uncle Seth, you stayed!" Shannon exclaimed, jumping into bed with us.

Shannon crawled over to Seth, who was now sitting up. She curled up on his lap, resting her head against his chest. Seth smiled, looking down on my eldest daughter. He wrapped his arms around her, whispering something in her ear that made her giggle.

"Momma, I'm hungry." Amy followed her sister, snuggling in between me and Seth.

"Alright, baby. What do you feel like?" I asked.

"Pancakes!" The girls cried out in unison.

"Ah, you've thought about this." I said, chuckling slightly.

"And bacon." Shannon said with a nod.

My phone started to buzz. Trinity letting me know she was grabbing breakfast at a local diner with Ariane and Jon if I wanted to join them. When I mentioned this to Seth, he grimaced.

"Oh, come on. A nice little diner with real coffee, not the instant crap i have in the cupboard. Trin says that it's all local foods too. So extra fresh eggs, sausage..."

"And a loud Ariane to annoy me and wreck my morning." Seth finished the thought.

"Fine. Ray will drop you off wherever if you don't want to join us." I said with a shrug.

"Want me to let you know which gym I end up at?" Seth asked.

I nodded. "You bet."

About twenty minutes later, I met up with everyone at the diner.

"Morning, Jessie. And I see you brought your girls." Ariane said with a fake smile.

I really liked Ariane. She could be a bit of a princess, but her sweet nature made it easy to overlook. I knew that she liked my daughters, but she just didn't have a lot of experience with children. It made her nervous.

"I didn't have anyone to watch them." I apologetically said.

"Where's Punk?" She asked.

I gave a little shrug. I know what I wanted to say, but I didn't want to say anything that would be misconstrued around the girls. "Probably on his bus."

We grabbed a table for the six of us. The girls were given crayons and coloring pages by the nice waitress that kept them occupied.

"Good match last night." Trinity told me as the waitress refilled our coffee mugs.

I grinned towards my friend. Trinity and I have been close since she was training down in Florida.

"Thanks. I think Nikki still has a problem with me, but we'll get it sorted out."

"Are you two still fighting over John Cena?" Ariane asked me.

I raised an eyebrow. "There is no fighting over John."

"Yeah, right. I saw you two before you walked through the curtain. I thought the real match was going to happen backstage." Jon joked.

John Cena and I grew up together, literally down the street from one another. He's the brother I never had. Nikki Bella had a problem with how close we are, but, in my opinion, that was her problem. Not ours.

"She was fine with when you and Punk were together. Now she sees you as a threat." Trinity told me.

I couldn't help it. I laughed. I laughed so hard that Shannon and Amy looked up from their coloring sheets, looking at me like their mother just lost her mind.

"Damn, girl. Is it that funny?" Jon asked.

"John's my brother, man. We've had each other's backs since we were kids. He's just as much brother to me as Josh is to you." I pointed out.

"Girl, Josh is my twin."

"Alright, so not down to a science, but you get what I mean." I said with a shrug.

"Regardless, I still think you should talk to Nikki before this thing blows up. You know how big of a temper the Bella twins have." Trinity suggested.

That's one of the last things I need: to have one or both of the Bellas mad at me over stupid stuff.

"I'll talk to her after the gym." I conceded.

"Girl, bye." Ariane said. "You should do that now."

"It's hardly a big deal." I dismissively said.

"If you say so." Ariane shook her head.

"Actually, I was hoping for some advice before breakfast is over." I said.

Ariane's eyes lit up. She never wasted an opportunity for gossip.

"Seth and I crashed together last night." I began.

"Girl, you slept-" Ariane's voice went up an octave.

"Shh." I admonished, looking over at the girls. Thankfully, they didn't seem to be paying attention to the conversation. "We were up all night talking and he fell asleep in my bed."

"That's not unusual." Trinity slowly said.

"Right. For us, it's not. But this morning, he kissed my neck." I said.

"Oooh." Both women said in unison.

"Right."

"Obviously, you need to figure out what it meant to him." Ariane said.

Jon made a dismissive sound in his throat, shaking his head. "He was asleep, right? He probably didn't realize what he was doing."

"You think so?" I looked over at the Samoan.

"He could have been dreaming or momentarily forgot who he was in bed with." Jon told me.

"I hadn't thought of that." I said, chewing on my bottom lip.

"Jon's right. It probably meant nothing." Trinity said.

"Or it could mean something. What if it means something?" Ariane asked.

"He's one of my best friends. Never envisioned I would ever be having this conversation about him." I said.

"You'll never know until you ask." Ariane said.

She said it so simply, as if it was going to be the easiest thing in the world to do. For a moment, I wish I could switch places with her.

"Easy for you to say." Trinity said, echoing my thoughts.

"Just do it and get it over with." Jon encouraged.

"Alright, fine." I threw my hands up.

Guess it was time to put some fires out. And it's only 8:30 in the morning. What else would be coming my way?


	3. Chapter 3

Seth texted me the address to the gym that he was at with Roman Reigns and Moxley were heading to. I dropped my daughters off at the gym day care and headed into the back where they were getting ready to do cardio before the usual weights.

"Hey guys." I greeted.

Mox's eyes swung towards me, looking cloudy and guarded. "What's up?"

I sat down on the floor and started my stretches.

"Need a hand?" Seth asked, sitting down on the floor, his hand going to the inside of my knee.

"Cut it out." I snapped, brushing his hand away.

"Woah, what's going on?" Seth asked.

"Inappropriate." I told him.

"What, I was going to help you stretch. We always do this." Seth looked at me, the hurt and surprise registering across his face.

"Yeah, well, things we typically do tend to lead into behaviors that we don't." I said.

"What does that mean?" Seth inquired.

"This morning." I stopped short, realizing that I didn't want to have this conversation in front of Mox and Roman.

"What about this morning?" Seth pressed the issue.

"Can we go somewhere to talk?" I asked.

Seth shook his head. "There is no privacy, remember? Just out with it, Jessie."

I shifted my weight, looking at him uncomfortably.

"Just spit it out already." Mox butted in.

"You kissed the back of my neck this morning." I finally said after several seconds of silence.

"What?" Roman sputtered.

"How on Earth did this happen?" Mox demanded.

I had expected Seth to look embarrassed or shocked. I expected him to quickly apologize or tell me that he doesn't know what I was talking about. Instead, my friend looked slightly abashed.

The realization washed over me quickly. Seth was fully aware this morning.

"No." I scrambled up to my feet.

"Jessie, wait." Seth grabbed my wrist before I could make it to do the door.

"What, Seth?" I spun around to face him. "What could you possibly say?"

"Look, I'm sorry, alright? I didn't mean to freak you out."

"Freak me out? This isn't me freaking out." I said.

"Sure looks like it." Roman interjected.

"Stay out of this." I sharply said.

"Alright, crazy lady." Roman slightly teased.

I gave my tall, Samoan friend a cold look before turning my attention back to Seth. Mox crept up beside me, pulling me back so that there was now distance between me and Seth.

"Calm down, alright?" Mox told me. "Seth, talk."

The sharpness in his tone caught me slightly off-guard. But the edge was aimed at Seth, not at me. Seth, however, either ignored the tone or didn't catch it. He looked like he was choking back some unspeakable emotion that he was having a difficult time conveying.

"You know I think you're great." Seth began.

"You're one of my best friends, Seth." I cut him off. "You know what I've been through with Phil-"

"Exactly, Jessie. You are far too good to be sitting on the sidelines, praying that he gets his act together. And you're not even sure if you feel that way because you still love him or because of your girls. You deserve so much better than him. You deserve someone who genuinely loves you and wants to be with you."

"This...this is all wrong. I can't do this. Not now. Not with you."

"Why not me? I'm crazy about you. We get along great, we share everything. I love your girls. I think it's time we explore something more."

"I just don't see you that way, Seth. I'm sorry." I told him.

"You could, if you let yourself." Seth told me.

Before I could respond, he pulled me in and his lips crashed down on mine. My entire body went rigid when he tried to wrap his arms around me.

"No." I squirmed away, shoving against his chest hard.

Before anyone could move, I slapped him hard. It reverberated in the small room, echoing in my ears. Seth staggered back, holding his cheek as the hand print formed.

I couldn't even make my apologies. I rushed out the door, nearly knocking the camera guy over who had filmed the whole ugly scene.

I nearly ran into the bathroom to wash my face, only then becoming aware of the tears rolling down my cheeks. After I had calmed down, I retrieved Shannon and Amy and high-tailed it out as fast as I could.


	4. Chapter 4

"So what kind of mess did you get yourself into now?" John Cena teased

Once I had calmed down enough, I called John. Seth had been blowing up my phone ever since I left the gym, but I hadn't returned any of his calls or texts. John met me on the bus after I told him I wasn't ready to head to the building yet.

"I didn't do anything. I think." I said, my voice dropping towards the end.

"At least you're confident in your answer." John playfully said.

"Stop it." I said, punching him in the shoulder. "You're not helping."

"I don't know how I'm supposed to help if you haven't told me anything." He pointed out.

So out it came. My words spilled out of me, detailing the entire situation. John didn't interrupt once, just sat cross legged on my bed as I explained what happened.

"I think Jon's right. I don't think it means what you think it means." He finally said after I was done.

"John, Seth admitted it. He kissed me."

"Jess, I think he's confused and responded in the only way he could think of."

"Confused about what?" I inquired.

"I think he wants to help you out with this situation that you're in with Punk. We're both a little sick of it." John admitted.

"Me too." I sighed. "Go on."

"He's been seeing Leigh, right?"

I nodded. "For a while now."

"I think he got his feelings confused. You're his best friend and you've been his rock for a while now."

It started to make sense to me. I have been the constant female companion of Seth's over the years. In that time, I had known him to date girls, but Leigh is the first I had known him to get serious with. He had told me before that it scared him how he felt about her.

"Believe it or not, Jess, but you have a big effect on people. When we see you hurt, we hurt too. I think that he was scared about getting serious with Leigh, plus wanting to help you just threw him."

John leaned over and nudged my shoulder. "You really are a great girl, Jess. I just think in his mind, things would just be easier if you two were together. You're family."

I gave him a small smile. "Thanks, John."

"He's probably going out of his mind right now. You should call him." John told me, pushing my phone over to me.

His phone started to buzz. A smile crept on his lips briefly before falling.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Oh, it's Nicole. I think that she's upset that I'm here."

Another fire to put out. Hopefully I will handle her better than I did Seth.

"I should talk to her." I relented.

John's blue eyes lit up. "Would you?"

"Of course. It's probably long overdue anyway."

Since I failed to get my work out in, John called Nikki and asked to meet up at another local gym. She smiled big until she saw me walking up next to him. Automatically, she went into a defensive state, crossing her arms over her chest and pressing her lips together.

"Hey, Nikki." I warmly greeted.

"Hi." She curtly responded.

"Be nice. She wants to talk to you." John told her in a low voice.

John kissed her cheek and went inside. Nikki and I walked over to a pair of benches outside to finally clear the air.

"What did you want to talk about?" She asked, brushing her long black hair behind her.

"I just wanted to say that I hope you and I can be friends."

That surprised her. She blinked a few times before settling on a neutral expression. "Go on."

"John and I have known each other literally as long as I can remember. We grew up down the street from one another, Nikki. He's the brother I've never had."

"So there has never been anything between you two?" She raised a perfectly polished eyebrow.

"Never. He took me to my junior prom, only because I didn't have a date. I swear, there's nothing now or in the past between us. And I know for a fact that he thinks you are his future."

That completely softened her expression. "Really?"

"We've had long talks about it. You just need to be easy on him. He went through hell with his ex-wife. I think I'm the only one who knows the whole story. He loves you, Nikki."

To my surprise, Nikki wrapped her arms around my neck. "Thank you."

"So, friends?" I asked.

She wrapped her arms tighter around me. "Friends."

Well, that's one situation resolved.

"I like Nikki, I really do." I said in my interview later. "I think we could be really good friends. Hopefully, I can help both her and John transverse the sometimes rough waters that can happen when you're dating him. Elizabeth really messed him up in ways that I think would surprise people."


	5. Chapter 5

John and I put each other through the paces during our workout. Nikki laughed as we began to tease each other and squabble.

"I'm sorry, I'm embarrassed now." She said.

"Embarrassed?" I questioned, dropping the hammerlock I had John in.

"To think anything was going on with you two." Nikki shook her head. "It's pretty clear that I overreacted."

Overreacted. That's the theme for the day.

"It's as clear as the nose on Triple H's face." John teased.

"But not the hair on your face. I swear, it's been over thirty years, and I don't think I've ever seen even a hint of stubble. Haven't you gone through puberty yet?" I joked.

I collected the girls, who were squabbling on their own. At this rate, they were going to drive me crazy before the Smackdown tapings even start.

As soon as we entered the building, my eyes locked on the two newbies, Eva Marie and JoJo.

I liked JoJo. At 19, she was real sweet and a bit naive. She had a good heart and was enthusiastic about training to be a diva. Eva Marie, on the other hand, I couldn't stand. She was beautiful and she knew it, the kind of girl in high school that I would have knocked down a peg or two. She didn't understand the hierarchy that exists in the WWE. Because of her looks, I had a feeling that everything had been handed to her her entire life. She expected the WWE to be the same.

It wasn't going to be.

I exchanged pleasantries before turning my attention to JoJo.

"Would you be willing to do me a big favor?" I asked.

JoJo's eyes lit up. I could hear Eva grumble under her breath, but chose to ignore it.

"Sure!" The tiny girl was practically dancing. "What do you need?"

"I hate to ask this of you, but I need to put the girls down for a nap. Would you mind sitting with them?"

"She's not a babysitter." Eva scoffed. "She's here to learn. We're here to learn."

"It's the kind of favor that gets you a big one from me in return. In the WWE, we've all had to do things that we didn't necessary like or even fit the so-called job description." I curtly responded to the bottled redhead.

"No, I would love to. I adore Shannon and Amy." JoJo said, still enthusiastic.

"Thanks. It'll only be for an hour or so. Without this nap, they could disrupt the tapings." I gratefully said.

"Wait, I could help you." Eva offered, suddenly realizing the position I was putting JoJo in.

"I think she could handle watching two girls as they sleep." I responded.

"No, I don't like Eva Marie." I said in my interview. "I'm trying. There are so many different personalities in the WWE, it can be difficult. I don't think she earned the right to be backstage. In my opinion, both of the newbies should be down in Florida with Paige and the other girls in NXT. Plus the fiasco with Fandango? I'm honestly surprised she's still here."

I sat my bag down in the locker room, un-surprised not to see AJ or Phil yet. I tried my best to shrug it off, to not let it bother me. Call time wasn't for another hour.

I went into the stands, sitting in one of those awful plastic chairs and watched as the ring crew set up the stage. I heard the heavy steps of boots and didn't bother to look over at the man who sat down next to me.

"Hey." I greeted.

"Hey." Seth replied. "Can we talk?"

"That seems to be the phrase of the day." I nodded.

"I'm sorry that I kissed you and for putting us in this awkward situation."

"Do you love me?" I asked, finally turning my attention to him.

"As my best friend, of course."

"So all that talk back there..."

"I guess I got scared. Your slap, which hurt like hell by the way, knocked some sense into me."

"So talk." I encouraged.

It was just as John had said. He got nervous and scared over things going so well with Leigh and was afraid of screwing things up.

"Call it temporarily insanity." Seth said.

"No, what would have been temporarily insanity is if I had kissed you back." I pointed out.

Seth chuckled. "Like it would have been all that bad."

"So what brought you to this conclusion?" I asked.

"Talking to Roman helped out a lot. Helped me to see the error in my ways, so to speak. Leigh called and we had a long conversation." Seth grinned. "I think overall, this has been a good thing."

There was still something more, I could see it in his eyes. "And?" I pressed.

"Am I transparent?"

"Only to the girl who has known you as long as I have."

"Mox threatened to beat the crap out of me."

I burst out laughing. After a moment, Seth joined me. The ring crew looked up at us from the floor, shaking their heads as if we had lost our minds. I rested my head on his shoulder after we stopped, beyond grateful to put this behind us.

"Can we just move on from this?" Seth asked.

"Only if I can use this as a point of ridicule and tease every now and then."

"I wouldn't expect anything less."

"Sorry for slapping you." I apologized.

"As I said, it did knock some sense into me. Also may have lost a brain cell or two."

I punched him lightly in the shoulder for good measure. "Don't get out of line again."


	6. Chapter 6

An hour later, Shannon and Amy came running up to me, with JoJo trailing behind them.

"Mommie!" Amy exclaimed, jumping up in my arms.

I rubbed my nose against hers, causing her to giggle. Amy wrapped her arms around my neck, snuggling close.

"I trust they weren't trouble?" I asked, looking over at JoJo.

"Not at all. They're so precious. Like little angels." JoJo cooed.

We settled in to lunch with Shannon and Amy chatting JoJo's ear off while the rest of us hid our laughter. If she didn't make it as a wrestler, JoJo had a great career ahead of her as a nanny.

"So, you talked to Seth?" Trinity asked.

"It's all good now." I told her.

"See, told you." Jon said.

"Eventually, you were right." I admitted, then filled them in on what happened after I left the diner.

"So, you're single." Eva Marie asked.

I raised an eyebrow, automatically wondering where she was going with this or why she cared. "I am."

"Does that mean that Punk is available?" She asked.

Brie and Nikki both laughed.

"I have never known CM Punk to be single." Brie said.

"He's not. He's dating AJ." Nikki informed Eva.

"Oh, gosh. That must be so hard for you." Eva feigned concern.

I pressed my lips into a thin line, but didn't respond.

"I mean, you still love him, right? And yet he's dating a younger, prettier, and skinner version of you." Eva condescendingly said.

"Eva!" JoJo admonished.

"What? Jessie said at Wrestlemania that AJ was a younger version of herself." Eva defended.

I would admit as much during my interview later. What Eva said was right: AJ and I were very similar. It's one of the reasons why we were good friends. We both were nerds and often showed off our geekiness. It was also another reason why it stung when Phil started dating her.

"It's alright." I waved the girls off when they jumped to my defense. Eva is right, to a point. Although I don't think she's prettier than me. And I may not weigh 95lbs but I'm much taller than her."

"Someone sounds sour." Eva pointed out.

"Not at all." I lied. "I'm happy that he's happy."

"That is so sweet, yet such a cliche." Ariane said.

"I know." I sighed.

The girls squeals of "Daddy!" alerted us that Phil had arrived.

My smile dropped from my face when I saw AJ beside him, holding a foam cup of coffee in one hand and his hand in her other.

"There are my girls!" Phil exclaimed, scooping them up in his arms.

"We missed you, Daddy." Shannon said, kissing his cheek.

"I missed you too, Pumpkin." Phil told her.

AJ came over and gave me an awkward hug. I looked down, frowning.

"Are those my Chuck Taylor's?" I asked.

"What?" AJ looked down at her feet. "Yeah, probably. I found them at Phil's apartment the other day. Good thing we wear the same shoe size, huh?"

I wasn't sure if she meant that in a friendly way or not. Still, I gave her a plastic smile.

"I'll give them back to you." AJ told me.

"Isn't that cute? You two could be interchangeable." Eva commented.

She yelped when I kicked her from under the table.

"We barely saw you the other day." Amy pouted at Phil.

"It's a good thing that your daddy will be taking you for a few days, then." I pointed out.

The smile immediately dropped from his lips. I crossed my arms over my chest defensively. What now?

"Actually, I was hoping to speak with you privately about that." Phil told me.

Of course. Why am I not surprised?

Still, I relented. Phil and I went into one of the private conference rooms, with only the E! network camera guy following us.

"I was hoping you could keep the girls this week." Phil began.

"What? Phil, no." I shook my head.

"I forgot that I promised to take then until Saturday. AJ and I have Cubs tickets."

"You are blowing your daughter's off for a baseball game?" Anger rising in my voice.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to do now." Phil shrugged.

"You be a father to your two girls. They have been looking forward to this for two days, Phil. Don't let them down."

"Give me this today and I'll take them all next week." He bargained.

"They are not a puppy that we pass around. They are your daughters, who miss and love you."

"Jessie, I'm sorry." Phil apologized.

I was beyond angry and hurt. The audacity of this man.

"You know what? Maybe they are better off." I bitterly said. "Go off with your girlfriend. I'll take care of Shannon and Amy."

"Better off?" Phil's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah. Maybe they are better off to not have you around than you play part time Dad."

"I'm not a part time father. I had one, and I'm not him." Phil sharply told me.

"You may not have a beer in your hands, but you are acting just like he did when you were a boy. Think about them, Phil."

Anger was radiating off of both of us, our eyes locked on each other. Several minutes went past before he softened his expression.

"You're absolutely right. I'm sorry. That was completely selfish of me."

"Thank you for saying so." I relaxed my hard expression.

"Hey." Phil gently said. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to his body tightly. I closed my eyes, briefly allowing myself to be held by him. "You okay?"

"It's just been a weird day." I told him.

"I'm sorry." Phil started rubbing my arms. "Anything I can do to help?"

I shook my head. "Thanks, but I got it taken care of."

His milk chocolate eyes looked deep into my blue ones and I was momentarily lost. He gave his usual smirk, putting distance between us.

"You're tough, Jessie. You always have been."

"Thanks. Guess where I learned it from?"

Phil grinned. "Alright so I'll take the girls and I'll see you on Sunday."

"Sunday? I thought we were meeting up on Saturday?"

"I think I owe you an extra day for being a selfish prick."

I smiled, shaking my head. "You owe me more than that but I'll take it."

"You always know how to save me from myself. I guess that's why you're my best friend."

My heart absolutely fell. That's what he said when we broke up. I was his best friend and the mother of his two daughter's. That's what we had between us.


	7. Chapter 7

I was quiet for the next several hours. I didn't have a match scheduled, but I am contracted as John's manager, so I was ringside with him.

"So, what's going on with you?" John asked after the show.

"I don't know what you mean." I lied.

"You're being lethargic. What's going on?"

"I think it's just finally sitting with me that it's over between me and Phil." I softly replied.

"Baby girl, I'm sorry." John said, giving my hand a squeeze.

"Right now, I'm just filled with misoneism." I said.

"Mis oh, what?" John looked at me blankly.

"Filled with hatred or dislike of something that represents change." I gave him the dictionary terms.

"You know, some day I want to sit you and Sandow down and let you two debate using big, confusing words." John joked.

"Boston education system." I said with a shrug.

"I went through the same system as you."

"I know, which is what saddens me." I teased.

"Very funny." John nudged me.

I leaned my head against his muscular shoulder, sighing.

"I'm just the best friend." I admitted.

"You know you are so much more than that." John told me.

"Right. I'm the mother of his children." I pointed out. "Not the love of his life."

"Baby girl, you've known for years that Punk doesn't want to settle down. You said it yourself many times. You said you were okay with it."

"Maybe it's me." I wondered out loud. "Maybe he just doesn't want to settle down with me."

"He always come back, doesn't he?" John asked.

"I'm tired of this break up/make up b.s. John."

"Well, let me know if I could be of any help."

"I appreciate it, bud. Go on, don't keep Nikki waiting." I insist.

I didn't have to be at work for a few days and since Phil had the girls, I had no reason to return home. Instead, I decided to get a hotel room and stay the night, make a little mini vacation.

Truth is, I hated being alone. And being by myself in the house would just be a reminder of everything.

"What you say, camera guy? I'll buy you a beer." I offered.

The guy looked to be in his mid-twenties. Short, soft brown hair and warm eyes. He smiled broadly at me and nodded.

"Caleb." He said, extending out his hand.

"Nice to meet you, Caleb."

We chatted idly as I bought the first round. Caleb had been working as a camera man for two years now. He has worked on several shows on the network, most of which bored him to tears.

"But then I was offered this assignment." Caleb said with a grin. "I've been a wrestling fan all my life. This is exciting."

"Drinking on the job?" An impossibly familiar voice asked us from behind.

I ran my tongue over my teeth, but didn't turn around. The low, raspy rumble in Mox's voice sent delicious chills down my spine.

"Pull up a chair and join us." Caleb encouraged.

"I think I might just do that." Mox said, sliding onto the bar stool next to me. "Thought you would be halfway to Chicago by now."

"Normally I would be, but Phil has the girls for the next few days. So I got a room, figured I would relax."

"Can't relax at home?"

"Not alone. Not since April."

"You mean, since he moved out." Mox pointed out.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Caleb slip off of his stool, his camera perched on his shoulders. Right. No privacy.

"Precisely." I sourly admitted.

"I don't get you, Jessie." Mox ran a hand through his unruly blonde hair. "Why do you torture yourself?"

"Torture?" I twisted around in my stool to look him dead on.

"About Punk. Seth's right; you are far too good a woman to be put on the sidelines. Punk treats you like a toy he can pick up and play with as he sees fit."

"That's not true." I shot back.

"I'm going to start calling you 'elf on a shelf'." His tone was slightly teasing, even if his eyes didn't light up.

"I think that's unfair." I challenged.

"If you say so." Mox shrugged, ordering a beer.

"It doesn't matter." My shoulders slumped. "Do you know the song, 'Leader of the Broken Hearts'?"

"By Papa Roach?" I nodded. "Yeah, what about it?"

"That's how I feel." I solemnly said.

"Jessie..."

"Holding out for more than I deserve and hanging on to all your careless words. Maybe it's time I cut the cord. Maybe I'll stay and take some more." I quoted.

"Honey, you deserve so much more than him."

The intonation in his voice made me pause. Instead of questioning him, I downed my beer and ordered another.

"And now I finally know what it feels like to risk everything and still survive. When you're standing on the battlefield and all the pain is real." Mox quoted.

"That's when you realize that you must have done something right cause you've never felt so alive." I finished the chorus.

We sat in silence for several minutes, just drinking.

"I never should have let you go." His raspy voice told me.

His hand reached out and covered mine. A large lump formed in my throat.

"I think about that night all the time. The night I told you to go back to Punk."

"Why?"

I didn't have to clarify. He knew I wasn't asking why he thinks about it.

"I was in love with you and it scared me to death. I wasn't ready. I felt that Shannon deserved her father and I couldn't...I wasn't ready."

"And now?"

My blue eyes swung to his, watching the storm of emotions rolling through them.

He didn't need to say anything. We always seemed to talk best wordlessly anyway. The storm rolling in his eyes told the tale that his lips couldn't.

The agony threatened to rip my damaged heart in two. It was a double-edged sword. How often I had wanted to see the look in Phil's eyes that I see in Mox's right now. How often had I dreamed that I would have Mox looking at me the way he is now.

He reached out and gently began stroking my cheek. The thought of protesting quickly left me.

"I know." My voice didn't sound like me. It was barely above a whisper.

"Jessie, tell me now if you don't still want me. I will leave you alone and never mention it again. If you have any feelings-"

My lips met his, cutting off his sentence. Of course I wanted him. I had never stopped.

His hand wound up in my hair, pulling me tighter to him. I had to grab a hold of his shoulders to keep from slipping off the stool. After several moments of heavy kissing, I pulled away, gasping for air. We were both shaking slightly when he threw some money on the counter and we ran upstairs to my room.

We laid together a while later afterwards, covered in sweat. Both of our bodies were exhausted, but our minds were racing.

"This." I said in a pant. "Has been an interesting day."

Moxley chuckled as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling him to his naked chest.

"I'm serious. The situation with Seth, me smoothing things over with Nikki, my conversation with Phil, and now sleeping with my ex."

"Quite the day." He concurred. "Your heart is racing."

"Yours too." I told him.

We interlocked our fingers together as our breathing slowly began to return to normal.

"If you tell me this was a mistake-" He began.

"No." I interrupted. "I'm just not sure of anything right now."

"I get that."

His thumb gently stroked my cheek, sending chills down my spine. I closed my eyes briefly, relishing on his touch on my skin.

"You make it hard to think." I told him.

"Maybe that's your problem. You think way too much, Jessie. Don't think, just feel."

His lips met its mark on my neck, my pulse quickly escalating. I craned my neck to the side, giving him further access to my skin. Mox rolled me onto my back as we got lost in each other again.


	8. Chapter 8

Beams of light broke through the curtains, waking me from my bliss. I stretched out, feeling the soreness in my muscles from attention I hadn't gotten in several months.

Mox was snuggled up against me, his arm draped over my chest. When I attempted to move away, he pulled me tighter to him.

"Nope." He said low in my ear. "Not getting away that easy."

"Who said that I was trying?"

Last night had been beyond wonderful. Now I was looking at the sun rise through half-lidded eyes, cursing at its brightness. I wasn't ready for it to end. I wanted to freeze time, to make this moment last forever.

Of course, if there was one thing I had learned recently, is that nothing lasts forever.

"Let's steal the day away." Mox said, breaking into my thoughts.

"What?"

"Stay in bed. We both have the day off. Could you think of a better way to spend it?"

My hands caressed up his strong, muscular arms, smiling as I feel goosebumps form.

"Not at all." I responded.

This takes me back to a time when he and I would stay in bed for hours on our days off, or as long as Shannon would let us. Back before he was Dean Ambrose, before the WWE had him under contract. Before fear played a role in keeping us apart as long as we had.

The question rolling around in my head was if this was a new start for us, or if this was just an old habit that we've fallen into?

I knew my feelings for Mox were real and stronger than I cared to outwardly admit. But in the middle of it was my feelings for Phil, all jumbled up together. I couldn't make heads or tails of it.

"Hey." Mox grabbed my shoulder and turned me around so we were looking directly at each other. "I'm not asking for a relationship. I know the situation you are in and I get it. I'm just asking for a chance."

A chance. I could deal with that.

"Okay." I smiled at him.

"Don't have me sitting around, waiting on you the way Punk does. You will need to figure things out. I just want to be there in the mix of it."

"You are." I assured him.

The buzzing of my phone caused both of us to groan.

"Don't answer it." He said, stopping me as I reached for my device.

"It's Skype buzzing." I told him.

The only reason I have Skype on my phone was for video chatting with the girls when they were with Phil.

Mox tossed me my shirt, which I quickly slipped on before grabbing my phone. He had just slipped out of the camera and threw on his shirt when I accepted the chat.

"Morning, Mommie!" Amy's bright, smiling face greeted.

Both girls were jockeying for position with Phil's phone. They look like they had just rolled out of bed, with their hair still not brushed and faces dirty with what appeared to be chocolate.

"Morning, my angels." I warmly greeted. "Having a good time with Daddy?"

"The best! Last night, we watched Finding Nemo and Daddy made us smores." Shannon informed me.

Which is why they had chocolate. I hid my frown, knowing that most likely meant that Phil hadn't made them brush their teeth last night. But a Disney movie and a special treat? He must have been feeling guilty.

"That's wonderful." I told them, my smile reaching my ears.

Amy blew me several kisses, which I returned. In the background, I could hear pots banging around.

"Daddy making breakfast?" I asked.

"No, AJ is making us French toast." Shannon said.

"With powdered sugar." Amy said, licking her lips.

My genuine smile faded slight, although the girls didn't notice. "That's great. Glad you're having a good time."

"We love you, Mommie." Amy said.

"Not as much as I love you, my darlings."

There was a little scuffling sound, before they handed the phone over to Phil.

"Hey." He sleepily greeted.

"Hey. They keeping you on your toes?" I asked.

"Always do. Enjoying your day off?"

"Jess, do you want some coffee?" Mox asked.

Phil's eyes instantly darkened. "Moxley is there? It's 7:30 in the morning."

"Yeah, he is." I told him.

"Did he crashed like Seth crashes or is this something?"

Both men were looking at me expectantly for my answer. I hesitated for a second before looking up into Mox's crystal blue eyes. "It could be something. I'm not sure."

"You're not sure." Phil sharply repeated. "I don't think this is a good idea."

"I don't remember asking you for an opinion." I curtly told him.

"I don't think you are taking feelings in account." Phil stated.

"Feelings? Whose feelings? Yours?" I scoffed. "You mean, like you considered my feelings when you left me for a friend of mine?"

"Alright, everyone, breakfast!" I heard AJ call out.

"You're being summoned." I sharply said.

"This conversation isn't over." Phil told me.

"Yes, it is. You don't have any say in who I am sleeping with." I told him.

"Alright, Jessica." Phil condescendingly said. "Enjoy."

And with that, the video chat ended. I let out an agitated grunt, tossing my phone down onto the bed.

"Who does he think he is?" I demanded.

"Phil Brooks." Mox shook his head. "Forget about him."

Mox pushed a cup of instant coffee into my hands. I let out another aggravated noise, the image of Phil's face looking at me like a petulant child still fresh in my mind.

Mox took the cup from my hands and placed it on the nightstand. He cupped a hand under my chin, brushing his lips against mine.

"Push him out of your head."

I heard my phone drop to the floor, not bothering to check it. The coffee was quickly ignored.

We spent the day just as Mox had suggested. Room service was ordered, the room was never left.

We both hated watching the sun rise the next morning, knowing our stolen day was gone. He had to go to a house show and I left for Chicago to get errands completed.

I met up with the rest of the Total Divas for lunch the following day.

"You certainly look refreshed." Brie noted with a slight teasing smile when I joined them.

"Let's just say it's been a good few days." I said.

"Punk has the girls?" Nikki asked.

"Yeah, thankfully. I miss them dearly, but he needed to spend quality time with them."

A small smile crept up to my lips as I watched Mox, Seth, and Roman enter the restaurant. The three of them waved towards us, taking a table not far but didn't come over. Trinity nudged me, nodding towards the three men.

"What was that about?" Nattie asked me.

"Maybe something." I tried to play it off with a simple shrug.

"That Ambrose is a hot number." Eva interrupted, not paying attention to the rest of us. "I can't believe he's single."

"Who says he is?" I asked. "Mox is very quiet about his personal life."

Everyone else seemed to catch my tone except for her. She wet her lips, brushing her hair behind her.

"Jess, are you-" Nattie began to question, but I shh'd her.

"Mox." Eva finally tore her eyes away from the guy's table to look at me. "Why do you call him Mox?"

"It's a wrestler thing." Trinity replied.

"The way you introduce yourself is how people in wrestling remember you. When I met him years ago, he was wrestling as Jon Moxley. We all called him Mox or Moxley. And now that he's here, it's easier to keep that up because there are way too many different John's in the locker room." I told her.

"But he's Dean Ambrose now." Eva looked at me, clearly confused. "I don't get it."

"I know you don't. As Trin said, it's a wrestler thing." I told her.

"Oh, and since I'm not a wrestler, I don't get it?" Eva pointedly asked.

"You did say so yourself." Nikki stated.

"You'll learn." Brie tried to soothe the conversation down.

"Dean is a character that he portrays." I tried to simplify it. "So when I say Dean, I'm talking about the member of The Shield. Mox...Mox is different."

"Uh huh, sure." Eva wasn't listening.

Before any of us could say anything else, Eva excused herself from the table, heading over to the men. JoJo tried to protest, but Eva didn't hear her.

Oh, boy. The only thing I could do was watch the train wreck.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's note: A few have expressed being confused about my use of calling him Mox. Actually, the locker room typically refers to him as Ambrose or Moxley, depending on when they met him. But I can understand the confusion. From this point on, I will refer to him as Jon or Ambrose, depending on the situation (only Ambrose in front of a WWE camera) and the Usos by the WWE names, Jimmy and Jey. Sorry for any confusion. Alright, back to the story.

* * *

Eva sauntered over to their table, ignoring the obvious glare from all three of them as she sat down in the empty seat next to Seth, now sitting across from Jon.

"Something we can help you with?" Seth asked her.

"I was wondering the same thing." She stated.

I couldn't help it. My head fell down on the table, trying to stop myself from laughing.

"We're good here." Jon said.

He cut his eyes over to me, at which I pointedly rolled mine.

"I'm sure you are." She said, smacking her lips together.

When she reached out across the table to take his hands in hers, my smile automatically dropped off my face.

"I thought Eva was engaged?" I asked.

"She is." JoJo told me.

"Then why is she holding hands with Jon?" I asked.

"So this boyfriend that no one knew about, that you never mentioned showed up recently out of the blue and asked you to marry him. Then you're sitting across from my guy, touching him unwantedly?" I questioned bitterly in my interview. "I don't think so."

Jon pulled his hands away quickly, his face expressionless. Eva, however, didn't seem to take the hint. She leaned across the table, further exposing her cleavage.

"I couldn't help but notice that you don't have a manager. I think I could be a big asset to you." Eva stated, looking directly at Jon.

"Really? How so?" Roman asked.

Roman and Seth exchanged amused looks. I had stopped being amused minutes ago.

"Could be a distraction ringside." Eva answered, still not looking away from Jon.

I had heard enough. I pushed away from the table, ignoring Trinity and Nattie as they both attempted to stop me. I wrapped my arms around Jon from behind, bending down to rest my head on his shoulder.

"Hey, guys." I greeted.

Jon reached up and interlocked my fingers with his. "What kept you?" He whispered.

"What are you doing?" Eva sharply asked.

"Saying hi to my guy." I responded, pressing my cheek against Jon's.

Eva's smile quickly faded, working hard on not glaring at me. She quickly excused herself, heading back over to the diva's table.

"Took you long enough." Roman playfully told me.

"Just seeing how long she kept it up." I responded.

"Admit it, you got a little jealous." Jon teased.

"I didn't appreciate her touching you, that's for sure." I admitted nothing.

"The entire table is looking over here." Jon told me, stroking my chin. "Better head back over before I decide to give them a show."

"Alright." I sighed, reluctantly slipping back.

A playful slap on my rear caused me to jump slightly. I ruffled Seth's hair as I passed, not bothering to look over my shoulder.

The onslaught of questions that hit me as soon as I sat down was expected. I chuckled slightly as my fellow divas talked over each other with their inquiries.

"Stop, stop." I help up my hand. "I don't know is the simplest answer."

"You don't know? Girl..." Ariane shook her head at me.

"Okay, yes, something happened." Before I could continue, several of them let out a delighted squeal. "But I'm still figuring things out."

"What's there to figure out?" Trinity asked.

"Yeah. Punk is dating AJ and you have someone in front of you that wants to be with you." Nattie said.

"It's a lot more complicated that that." I admitted.

"Can I ask you a question without you getting mad at me?" Nikki asked.

"You can try." I told her.

"Think about this before you answer." Brie encouraged.

"Alright." I said, dropping my slightly defensive stance.

"If it wasn't for Shannon and Amy, would it be complicated?" Nikki asked.

"That's a good question." Ariane softly said.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek, really giving the question proper thought.

No one could ever doubt how much I love my children. But I often wondered if Phil and I would have been together as long as we were if it wasn't for them. Phil and I have a strong connection, but are we just best friends that got things confused with sex?

We've broken up and came back together so many times, which stopped with the exception of when Shannon turned one. When he left me to date Beth Phoenix.

All those times when we broke up, I hadn't dated anyone else. I waited for Phil, knowing that he would make his way back to me. Except that last time, when Jon swept me off of my feet. Something seemed to change between Phil and me. The dynamic was different. I had contemplating telling him it was over when I found out that I was pregnant.

My eyes swung over to the other table, meeting Jon's eyes.

"No, it wouldn't be complicated." I finally admitted out loud.

But that still didn't save me. It still didn't pull me out of the confusion in my head or in my heart.


	10. Chapter 10

The next few days were blissfully uneventful for me. Finally, it was Sunday.

Phil and I hadn't talked, except through video chats with the girls. The chats were normal enough, but I could feel an argument simmering under his surface. He was always good to hold onto things. Which is why I was surprised that he called me Sunday morning and asked to go out to dinner.

"Me and AJ with you and Moxley. What do you say?"

"A double date?" I asked, unable to hide the surprise in my voice.

"I think it'll be fine. Something different. What do you say?"

I didn't know what to say, I was completely taken aback.

"I won't be able to find a sitter for the girls on such short notice." I tried to backpedal.

I should have known better with Phil. He had already thought ahead.

"Actually, Brie and Bryan offered to watch them."

"Seriously?"

"It's already taken care of, Jess. Meet at McClarin's at 8."

McClarin's. I tried my best to keep my voice as natural as possible.

"See you then."

I sat on my sofa for several minutes as Caleb waited for me to begin my little interview segment.

"McClarin's was were Phil and I went on our first date. It actually used to be our place. Imagine how uncomfortable it's going to be going there with him and his new girlfriend." I gave a fake smile towards the camera.

"I don't think this is a good idea." Jon said as he entered the house. "I really don't think I should go."

"No way, you aren't leaving me alone with those two." I insisted.

"I don't see why we can't just hang out here, order a pizza or something?"

"Because he and I are trying to be friends, remember? He feels like it's important for the girls' sake if we are all as normal as possible. This will go a long way."

"Come on, Jessie. I have to work with the guy. That means I have to play nice with him after hours, too?"

"I'll owe you." I told him.

That caught his attention. He raised an eyebrow, his blue eyes dancing as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Oh yeah?"

"Big time." I said with a nod.

"Why didn't you just say that to begin with?" He flashed a crooked grin.

"Come with me tonight, and be nice, and I'll pay you back."

"No questions asked?" He playfully asked.

"Whatever you want." I promised.

"I don't think you know what you just got yourself into. Alright, I'm in. I still think this is a bad idea." Jon said, kissing the tip of my nose.

"Noted."

As we head into the restaurant hand-in-hand, Jon pulls me to a stop, sliding an arm around my waist.

"I wanted to tell you how beautiful you look tonight. Regardless, no woman in that place will be able to hold a candle to you."

I felt my cheeks turn crimson. "You look pretty dashing yourself." I said, tugging on his sports coat.

"I know, I clean up pretty well." He grinned.

Phil and AJ were already seated when we arrived. Phil stood up and gave me a hug, planting a soft kiss on my cheek. He politely extended his hand to Jon.

"Good evening." Phil greeted.

"We're all friends here, right? There's no reason for this to be awkward." Jon said as he accepted the handshake.

"Absolutely right." AJ agreed.

"So, the girls' behaved?" I asked, handing Jon a menu.

"Oh yeah, they were wonderful. Little balls of energy. We had a lot of fun." AJ said with a smile.

"Well, you are closer to their age than me." The words slipped out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

Everyone at the table turned to me, their mouths wide open.

"I am so sorry." I looked at her incredibly embarrassed. "I didn't mean that, I'm sorry."

AJ looked at me for a moment, leaning her head to the side, before grinning. "It's okay. You're old, you forget things." She joked.

We all laughed. I apologized again for my genuine lack of thought, but AJ dismissed it.

"It's a little weird. I'm twenty years older than Shannon. I should be babysitting her, not out on a date with her father." She reached over and squeezed my hand. "I didn't take offense, Jess."

"She is right." I said later in my interview. "Under a different circumstance, she would be the one that Phil and I would have hired for a babysitter or even a nanny. Instead, she's dating him. Weird."

Thankfully, the waitress came to get our drink order. A basket of bread was put in front of us, which we quickly devoured.

"Do you remember the first time we came here?" Phil asked.

"October 2003." I quickly replied.

"Seriously? My question was more rhetorical than anything." He looked at me surprised.

"A week before your birthday. We sat in that booth." I pointed to one under one of the windows. "You had calamari for the first time and we split a cheesecake."

"That was our first date." Phil looked slightly taken aback. "I'm surprised your memory is that good."

"You'd be surprised at the things I remember. Still, it seems like a lifetime ago." I commented.

"Wow. Yeah, it was. Do you remember that road trip that we took to New Mexico? You, me, Ace, and Colt?"

"Which one? The one where Colt's girlfriend dumped him during the ride or when the car broke down and I had to change the alternator on the side of the road?" I asked.

Phil laughed whole-heartedly, slapping the table. "If only you could have seen it." Phil said, turning to AJ. "Three guys on the side of the road, while the chick is under the hood, barking at us for tools. None of us knew what she was talking about."

"Well, Colt's Jewish who doesn't know how to change a tire." I joked. "I still don't know what yours or Ace's excuse was."

"What's the story behind Colt's girlfriend?" AJ asked.

"He had been seeing this girl for a while. What was her name? Sandy? Tammy?"

"Mandy." Phil reminded me.

"Right, Mandy. Anyway, Colt and Mandy had been dating for several months. He had all these big plans, you know? He was going to save money and they were going to get a house together. He was going to introduce her to his mom. The whole nine yards."

"Only Mandy didn't understand the wrestling and wasn't as invested into the relationship as he was." Phil chimed in.

"Yep. So she sends him a text, telling him that it's over. And he's crying hard all the way through Kentucky." I stated.

"We're talking boo hooing. It was hard to watch." Phil said.

"That was a miserable trip to work a show that promised us that we'd all get paid $300 each and ended up getting $40 for the entire car." I said.

"Lousy promoters." Phil shook his head.

The waitress came back with our drinks so we placed our food order. I looked over at Jon, whose face looked guarded.

"You alright?" I asked.

"Yeah." He said with a quick nod. "Hearing your story just reminded me of something I hadn't thought about in ages."

"Go on." AJ encouraged.

"Do you remember when you came up with me to New York when I wrestled Homicide?" Jon asked.

My eyes lit up. "And we were caught in that snow storm and couldn't get out of the state?"

"Out of the state? I was surprised that we got out of that building." Jon said with a laugh.

"That run down National Guard Armory. You would've thought they did regular maintenance on the building." I replied.

"We sat around the building, waiting for the roads to clear enough for the snow plows to get us to a hotel." Jon remembered, reaching out for my hand.

"We sat around, telling stories and singing songs. Rich Swan had his guitar and we just made things up off of the top of our heads."

Jon and I both had a good chuckle. The look in Phil's eyes said that he wasn't amused.

"See, we've got stories too." Jon flashed a grin towards Phil.

After a couple of tense seconds, both guys seemed to relax a bit. Dinner arrived and we dissolved into different conversations: things the girls said or did, movies and books, among others. I thought everything was going well. The evening seemed to be going along nicely. That was, until Phil decided to bring up more of our past.

"Jess, do you remember when we took our one vacation and went on a cruise?" Phil asked.

"The Christmas cruise." I nodded. "Yeah, I remember that quite well."

"Jess got so sick. I think she spent half the time in the bathroom." Phil told AJ and Jon, shaking his head.

"Only I wasn't sea sick. We found out that I was pregnant with Shannon when we got back." I stated.

"You know what?" Jon began. Gone was his warm tone used throughout the evening. "I have been wondering for the last several days and into this evening why you still had a hold over Jessie. I think it just dawned on me."

"Jon..." I spoke towards him but he ignored the edge of warning in my voice.

"You use the past to remind her of what you two had. But that's...that's just wrong and borderline cruel."

"There is no manipulation here." Phil defended.

"Come on, man. It's pretty clear. Tonight is a prime example. See, Jessie has always been your go-to girl. You would dump her and carry on with someone else until it didn't work out then you would go back to her. And she waited, like a dummy, for you to come back. Except when it came to me. And it just drives you crazy, doesn't it?"

"I seem to recall her leaving you for me last time." Phil sharply told him.

"That's enough." I sharply said.

"No, it's not. It's just beginning." Jon told me before turning back to Phil. "Isn't it, Punk? The idea that she's not sitting at home, waiting for your call is just more than you can handle. So you invite us out here, parade your new relationship in front of her, and remind her of all the things that used to be. But because of that, she can't see the future beside her, which isn't you. It's me."

"Maybe if you weren't so caught up into showing me up, you would see that maybe you are in fact a placeholder for me." Phil accused.

"Excuse me?" AJ and I both sputtered.

"I think I'm done. AJ, want to get out of here?" I asked.

"Absolutely." She said, throwing her napkin down on the table.

"I trust that once you two are done with your pissing contest that you'll find your own ride." I told the two men before AJ and I stormed out.


	11. Chapter 11

Thankfully, AJ and I were the ones that drove to the restaurant. She followed me to the house for some quality girl time.

"I can't believe the audacity of those two." I fumed as soon as I got out of the vehicle and slammed the car door.

"Place holder? Seriously?" AJ huffed.

Brie and Bryan were cuddling on the couch, watching TV, when we came in. Brie looked over at AJ then back at me, obviously confused at the situation.

"Dinner didn't go well?" She asked.

"Understatement." I replied.

AJ and I began to fill them in on the night's events. Bryan stroked his beard, looking at us thoughtfully. The more we talked, the bigger Brie's eyes got.

"Are you kidding me? In the middle of the restaurant?" She asked.

"It was humiliating." AJ said.

"Humiliating? That's nothing. They should just be happy I didn't kick both of their asses." I irritatedly stated.

I put on a fresh pot of coffee and rubbed my temples. I sighed softly, shrugging my shoulders.

"How was your night?" I asked.

"Great, actually. The girls are fantastic." Bryan told me.

"We played a few board games and Bryan read them a story." Brie told me.

I could see how much it meant to Brie that the night went as well as it did. She often spoke of a future with Bryan, settling down and having kids some day. To her, this was the first step in seeing how their future could be. And from the look in both of their eyes tonight, it was indeed a success.

Phil called both of our phones, which we ignored. I was mildly surprised and annoyed that Jon hadn't called or texted. Neither man was dumb enough to come to the house to talk.

"Don't get mad at me for saying this, Jessie, but I feel for Mox on this." Bryan told me.

"You are seriously sticking up for him?" I asked.

"Men stick together, you know this." AJ told me.

"No, it isn't that. Moxley loves you. The entire locker room knows this. And in his eyes, tonight he was defending the woman that he loves." Bryan told me.

I pressed my lips together, looking over at Brie for her thoughts. She gave me a gentle smile and nodded in agreement.

My phone began to play a familiar ringtone, but it wasn't either of the guys. I hurried to answer, a lump of fear forming in my throat. My sister, Sarah. Something had to be wrong for her to call this late.

Sarah was a very successful writer, still living in Boston. She had gotten married to a male model last year. I envied my beautiful sister with her seemingly perfect life and easy going nature.

"Sarah, what's wrong?" I asked as I answered the phone.

I could hear her heavy sobs on the line before she spoke. "Can I come stay with you for a while?"

"You know you can. What happened?"

"My husband is a bastard, that's what happened." Mixture of pain and anger broke through her sobs.

Everything came spilling out rather quickly. Roger had been behaving differently the last few months, they had been arguing more lately. Then tonight, she found him in bed with another model.

"Of course you can stay here. You do know that I'm not going to be in Chicago much." I informed her.

"Maybe I could come with you? I won't be a bother. I can help with the girls." She offered.

"Oh, Sarah, I can't ask you to do that."

"Why not? I can write from anywhere in the world. There's nothing in Boston for me right now. Please?"

"Don't beg." I told her. "Want to meet me in St. Louis for Raw?"

"Thank you, Jessie! Love you."

"Love you too."

I frowned as I hung up the phone. We all have problems, I don't know why I would think that Sarah would be the exception. Maybe there is no such thing as perfect. Striving for such a thing only leads to misery.

"Sorry about that." I apologized.

"Can I give you my full opinion?" Bryan asked.

"By all means, please." I encouraged.

"I have to say that I think Moxley was on the mark. Punk does use everything in his arsenal to make sure that you are always available to him and now someone has come along that could change that." Bryan stated.

"Well, I think he was way off base." AJ pursed her lips together. "Punk and I are together. He has no need to keep Jessie on a leash."

"He always has." Brie told her. "Why should this time be any different?"

"Because what we have is real." AJ insisted.

I rolled my eyes. That's a phrase I had heard a lot from women regarding Phil over the years. "You know this after a month?" I asked.

When AJ's face contorted, I felt sick to my stomach. "It has only been a month, right? Since April?"

Phil told me that it was over during Wrestlemania weekend. I had been too brokenhearted at the time to ask how long he had been thinking about leaving me. It never occurred to me that he might have been seeing AJ before he dumped me.

"Actually, this is where I become the villain in your story." AJ told me, putting the coffee cup on the table and standing up. "We've been seeing each other behind your back since the beginning of the year. It just took me four months to convince him to leave you."

Another fragment of my damaged heart broke away. I stared inexplicably at the tiny woman, looking for a hint that she was joking around. She wasn't. A bubble of the combined mixture of pain, anger, and confusion burst like a dam in my chest. I leaped off my chair, lunging at her. Bryan caught me before I reached AJ.

"You rotten little bitch!" I fumed.

"Get out of here. Now." Bryan gruffly told her.

"Let me go!" I kicked and clawed to get him to break his hold, but he had a tight grip on me.

AJ ran out of the house as quickly as she could. It took several minutes for Bryan and Brie to calm me down. Thankfully, I didn't wake the girls with my outburst.

"Alright, alright." I waved them off, indicating that I was fine now. "It's late and we all have an early flight in the morning. You guys can crash in the guest room."

"You sure you don't want me to stay up?" Brie asked.

I gave my friend a small smile and nod. "I'll be heading to bed soon. It's okay."

I collected the coffee cups and made sure the pot had been turned off. I sat in silence for a few minutes, letting my thoughts run wild.

My email dinged on my laptop as I started to shut off the lights. I walked by it twice, contemplating checking it or going to bed. Ultimately, my curiosity got the better of me.

Jon was smart enough to know that I didn't want to hear from him after the spectacle at McClarin's. Instead, he used another means to try to apologize. I thought about deleting it without reading, but knew it would eat at me if I did.

'Hey Jessie. I don't blame you for being mad. I'm pretty furious at myself right now. I did want to say that even though my method was out of line, I still don't feel that what I said was. I should've gone about it differently. I'm just making a mess with this, so attached is a video that expresses my thoughts better. I mean every word in this song. Hope to talk to you tomorrow. Get some sleep, pretty lady.'

The link sent me to a YouTube video for a punk-rock version of one of my favorite songs, "Glory of Love." I couldn't help but smile as I watched it.

Alright, so he wasn't forgiven just yet. But he was in better shape than Phil was in that moment.


	12. Chapter 12

Not surprising, Phil made a beeline for me as soon as I arrived at the building for Monday Night Raw with Shannon, Amy, and my sister Sarah in tow.

"Can we talk?" Phil asked, grabbing me gently by the elbow.

"Nope." I flatly told him.

"I'm not looking to apologize because I honestly don't feel like I did anything to apologize for."

"Mommie, are you and Daddy fighting?" Amy asked.

I swallowed the low growl I felt in my throat. I cut my eyes towards Phil before looking at my littlest girl sweetly.

"No, sweetheart. We're just talking." I lied.

"Sounds like arguing." Shannon said.

"Come on, girls. Let's go see Uncle Seth." Sarah encouraged, thankfully jumping into the conversation.

"That woman is already a lifesaver." I muttered as they walked away.

I could feel the glare boring into the back of my head. Phil had his arms crossed over his chest, the hood of his sweater pulled up, and he was taping his foot in aggravation.

How I wanted to punch his head square off his shoulders.

"You don't feel like you have anything to apologize over?" I challenged, turning around to meet his gaze.

"What did I do wrong? I thought we were having a fun evening."

"Come off it, Phil. You're mad right now because Jon is right. You and I both know it."

"No, I'm mad because Moxley had to act like an asshole and ruin the evening."

"Don't turn this around on him." I snapped. "You called him a placeholder in front of me and your girlfriend, whom I found out from that you've been seeing behind my back since January."

Anyone else would have blanched at my words. Not Phil. His jaw was set in a hard line, his eyes remained cold and steady.

"So what?" Phil questioned. "It doesn't change anything."

"Are you kidding me with this?" I did my best to not raise my voice. "You've been lying to me, sneaking around behind my back for months when all the while I had no clue what was going on, for you to send me a text after the Hall of Fame that it was over?"

I slapped him hard across the chest. "You made a fool out of me. I don't appreciate that."

I went to slap him again, but this time Phil grabbed a hold of my wrist. He pulled me to his body, pinning my free arm down to the side so I couldn't move.

"You and I are family, Jessie. You and the girls are the only family I can trust. I've made mistakes. I am human after all. Don't walk out on me now. Don't leave me for Moxley."

The pleading in his eyes was unmistakable. It tore at the very recesses inside that I had been working so hard these last few months to hold together. Still, I knew I had to fight against it. I couldn't bow to his will. Not until I knew for sure.

"You walked out on us." I insisted. "You left me."

"And maybe that was a mistake. Jess, I was wrong for what I did. Maybe I just needed to see you with him in order for me to see that clearly."

I hesitated for a second, which was the opening he needed.

"Baby, you turn my entire world upside down. No other woman has ever been able to do that. You are fantastic. Beautiful, smart, head-strong. I don't know how I could ever want for anything else. I want my family back. I want you back. I love you, Jess."

It was the same thing he said those years ago.

We were standing chest-to-chest now. The smell of his cologne and body wash filled my nostrils, making me feel slightly dizzy. I was sure he could hear my heart thumping loudly against my ribcage.

"I can't think." I said, using my elbow to put space between us.

He reached out to pull me to him, but I took another step back. My entire being was at war with myself. A part of me wanted to believe him, but there was a louder voice overriding everything else that told me this wasn't right.

I wasn't sure what I needed or wanted in that moment. So I did the only thing I could do: I turned quickly on my heels and ran as far as my feet would carry me.

I wasn't paying attention to where I was running, and ran right into Roman. The force of our collision made me fall on my ass. Roman, however, didn't even take a step backwards.

"Hey, little one." Roman chuckled. "No running in the hallways."

He offered me a hand, which I blushingly accepted. "Sorry about that."

"Where are you headed in such a hurry?" He asked.

"Away." I simply stated.

His eyes washed over me, taking note of my very apparent state. Gauging by my face, he simply nodded.

"Alright, I won't keep you then."

I gave him a grateful smile before speed walking down the corridor.

I rushed into a bathroom, trying to get my body to stop shaking. It took several minutes and multiple gulps of water before I felt semi-normal.

I don't know how I did it, but I managed to make it through Raw in one piece. Phil didn't approach me the rest of the night, and thankfully neither did Jon. Roman must have told him about literally bumping into me in the hallway and knew I needed space.

I kept it together through my match with Nattie. I was alone in the shower when the wall I built inside of me to keep my emotions at bay broke. I had to lean against the tile wall for support, until my knees buckled. The water continued to spray on my face long after it stopped being hot.

Why did Phil have to twist my insides like this? Was he playing for real, or was what Bryan and Jon said right: Phil was only behaving this way because I wanted to move on.

Or _did_ I want to move on? I couldn't be sure about that either.

What I knew was that things couldn't stay this way. I couldn't let the war continue in my heart.

For a second, nothing was real. All sound, thought, or feeling was gone. I was a blank slab of a human being, empty and cold.

Slowly, the world returned to me. The focus switched as I turned off the water. I stayed on my knees, letting my senses become active.

The only thing I could hear was the chorus to the song that Jon sent me last night.


	13. Chapter 13

After getting dressed from the shower and putting my long brown hair in a braid, I just wanted to get out of the building as unscathed as possible. I kept my fingers crossed, hoping that I wouldn't run into either Phil or Jon. I wasn't ready for that. It felt like I could shatter at the slightest breeze. Going to the bus wasn't an option at the moment, with both of my daughter's eyes watching me and my sister going through her own hardship. I couldn't be weak around them. Thankfully, I ran into Brie and Bryan alone in one of the TV viewing rooms, who I knew could talk some sense into me.

"You look like a crazy person right now." Bryan teasingly told me.

"I feel like I'm losing my ever-loving mind." I admitted.

I proceeded to quickly fill them in. Brie nearly choked on her water when I told them what Phil had said.

"Okay, take a minute to breathe." Bryan told me, handing me a bottled water.

I gulped the entire bottle down quickly, holding a deep breath in and letting it out slowly when I was done.

"I need someone to tell me what to do here." I told them.

"You know we can't do that." Brie told me.

"Jessie, I don't make it a habit of dishing out advice, but you really look like you need it right now." Bryan told me.

I looked over at my bearded friend gratefully and took in a haggard breath.

"I still think Moxley was right last night. I've known Punk for years too, Jess. I think he's trying to have his cake and eat it too."

"What does that even mean?" My voice was border-lining on wailing.

"How do you feel right now? Honestly." Brie asked.

I opened my mouth to reply, but quickly closed it.

"You're all confused. You don't know which direction you're going." Brie told me.

"Take the time to just sit with Moxley or Punk. Don't even talk. Just see what your heart tells you." Bryan advised.

"What made you so smart? Is it the beard?" I said, a half-smile tugging on my lips.

"You know it." Bryan proudly grinned.

I gave them both a big hug, thanking them for listening to my problems. Sarah sent a few worried text messages, asking if everything was alright. I gathered my bags quickly, heading out for my bus as fast as I could.

"You look like you've been through something tonight." Sarah quickly sized me up. "I take it the conversation with Phil didn't go well."

"Mommy, are you and Daddy okay?" Amy asked.

"Of course, sweetie." I brushed some of her brown hair from her face, giving her a warm smile. "Don't worry about it. Just sometimes Mommy's and Daddy's don't see eye to eye. Everything is fine."

I wish I felt as confident and assured as I outwardly projected. Sarah helped me put the girls to bed. They were asleep as soon as I pulled up the covers to their chins.

"I don't know how you do it." Sarah stated as we changed into our pjs and curled up in my bed. "Raising two girls basically on your own with your hectic schedule. And they are so terrific, Jess. I envy you."

I wrapped my arms around Sarah's shoulders as she rested against my shoulder. The idea that my little sister was envious of me was laughable to me. But then again, Sarah has her own troubles too.

"Tell me what happened with Roger." I prodded.

"I wanted to start a family after my latest book made it to the NY Times best sellers list."

"Congratulations, by the way. I loved it." I told her.

"Thanks." Sarah warmly said. Her tone quickly changed as we got back on the subject at hand. "Roger...well, that's when the fighting began. He felt it was too soon, that we had all the time in the world for kids. Then he started to become distant and accused me of being nosy. All I had to do was ask him how his day was and he would go off on me."

"And what happened?"

"I had a meeting in New York with my editor for a new book pitch. I caught an earlier flight home to surprise Roger. And oh boy, did I surprise him."

"I'm sorry, Sarah." I gave her shoulder a squeeze.

"We just wanted different things. I wanted to come home to someone who loved me and wanted a family. Roger loved the money and fame that came with my name. He loved accompanying me to book signings so he could say, 'That's my wife'. I don't think he ever really loved me."

"Sarah, don't say that."

"It's true! When we were in public, or when I had media, he was always warm and affectionate and played the role of the supportive, charming husband. But especially these last few months, he was completely different at home."

I wanted to tell her that I understood exactly what she meant, but I didn't want to talk about me. My focus was on my sister and her own heartbreak. Instead, I held her close to me, rubbing her shoulder affectionately while she continued to talk.

"No, what he loved was his job. He loved charting off for photo shoots in NY and LA. Fashion week, magazines, making sure his hair was perfect. All those things he loved more than me. He hated Boston, but I didn't want to move. That's what we have been arguing about. I thought he was just unhappy with our living situation. The thought hadn't occurred to me that what was making him unhappy was me."

"Don't do that." I instantly said at her tone of despair. "You are wonderful, Sarah. Any man would be lucky to have you."

"You say that because you're my sister."

"No, because you're wonderful." I told her. "Roger is an idiot. He doesn't deserve you."

"Seems there is a lot of that going around." Sarah commented.

I chuckled. "Oh, you can say that again."

"So you heard about me. Let's hear about you."

"Oh no, I'm so sick of thinking or talking about it." I told her.

"Okay, can I comment then?"

"Why not? Everyone else seems to be weighing in."

"There you go with your snark defense. Stop that." Sarah admonished.

"I'm sorry. You're right, go ahead."

"I've seen you with Phil. I used to admire how you guys were together. It was the perfect balance between you two. Crazy good. You two hardly ever fought. You always knew how to handle him when he lost his temper."

The more Sarah talked, the more it didn't sound like a loving relationship. Phil sounded like my brother. She could have just as easily been talking about John Cena.

"You don't know this, but I would watch you two sometimes."

That took me by surprise. "You would?"

"Study you. I actually based James and Kimberly from my last book off of you two."

A gust of wind could have knocked me over at that point. James and Kimberly were the main characters in her latest novel. Reviews for the story have lauded their romance as the greatest in the last five years.

"Seriously? We're James and Kimberly?"

"Of course, events had to be changed and all that, but the emotions between them are you and Phil. Love, passion, admiration, respect. I don't think I ever had that."

"I'm sure you and Roger-"

"I wanted to believe that's what Roger and I had. It wasn't. It was make believe. Deep down, I wished that Roger looked at me for even a moment the way Phil looks at you. Ten years, Jess. Granted, I know I'm not here everyday, but I've always seen that look in his eyes. I know how happy you were and how miserable you are now. That has to mean something, right?"

I pressed my lips against her temple. "Yeah. Yeah, it's bound to."

"Okay, enough." Sarah said, wiping the tears that had started to roll. "Let's get some ice cream and torture ourselves with home movies."

"Oh, no. Not the videos." I groaned.

"Come on, it's the perfect therapy."

Sarah slipped away for a few minutes, returning with two bowls of ice cream from my freezer, along with a binder under her arm.

And that was how we spent the rest of our evening. Watching the old movies that our father had converted over to DVDs years ago brought real smiles and laughter from both of us. Before falling asleep, I realized that Sarah had been right. It had, indeed, been the perfect therapy. I was able to let go of what had been weighing on me and get a restful night sleep. My first restful night since...well, since I spent the night with Jon.

To echo Sarah's earlier thought: surely that had to mean something?


	14. Chapter 14

The alarm went off, pulling me out of my blissful sleep. Sarah groaned, threatening under her breath its electronic life as I reached over and turned it off.

"You look better." I noted.

"So do you. Don't see those bags under your eyes." Sarah said.

"So what are you thinking about? Staying with me for a while?" I asked, bypassing her comments.

"I'll need to speak with a lawyer at some point and start the paperwork. But I'd like to stay as long as you'll have me."

"How did I get to be so lucky to have the best selling author, Sarah Coleman, babysitting my kids?" I teased.

Sarah smacked me with a pillow in response. I pounced on her, tickling my younger sister. We rolled around on the bed before dissolving into giggles. Shannon and Amy came rushing into the room, jumping on the bed.

I grabbed Shannon, tickling her under her arms. Her delighted squeal rang in my ears. I laid her down on her back, blowing raspberries on her belly.

"Stop, Momma!" Shannon cried out and giggled.

Amy jumped on me to defend her sister. I let Shannon up and we both ganged up on Amy. The four of us laughed and wrestled around until Amy got clear and jumped off the bed.

Shannon curled up on my lap and rested her head against my chest. I smoothed back her shoulder length brown hair, sighing contently.

Sometimes it still takes me by surprise the two little miracles that Phil and I had created. Both of them favor me in nearly every way. A memory in the back of my mind caught me by surprise. Was it really just seven or eight months ago that Phil and I were talking about having a son? How on Earth did we get here?

The events of the last several weeks ran through my mind. I quickly pushed it away, focusing instead on my family in bed with me.

As soon as we arrived to the building, a delivery man approached me with a bouquet of roses.

"Jessie Coleman?" He questioned.

"That's me." I stepped forward.

"For you, ma'am." He said, presenting the dozen red roses.

I didn't even need to check the card to see who it was from. Phil.

"And this is for you too." The delivery man gave me a single purple tulip.

Sarah took the roses from me so I could accept the tulip.

"Who would give just one tulip?" Sarah asked.

I felt like skipping into the locker room. I knew exactly who it was and my heart soared.

"Back when Jon and I were dating, John Cena had to have surgery." I began to tell the story in my interview segment for the reality show. "Jon accompanied me to the hospital. His room was filled with various arrangements of flowers from well wishers. I commented how I actually hate roses and the social convention behind it. Jon asked what I preferred and I said this: If you want to show your love through flowers, a single tulip would do. Purple if available. It's my favorite and I don't need to be overwhelmed. The presentation of just a one sends the message loud and clear."

It struck me as being incredibly funny. Phil always said that he knew me better than anyone else. Yet this simple act proves him wrong.

Now wasn't the time to straighten everything out. This was business. I had an idea that I finally felt confident enough to speak to Mark, one of my bosses, about. It was unusual, but he did eventually agree. I couldn't wait to tell my other divas and offer one an opportunity that she wouldn't believe.

"I've got an idea." I announced. "JoJo, how would you like to sing with me tonight?"

JoJo looked flabbergasted. Before she could recover, Eva stepped in.

"Do you really think that's a good idea, after she messed up live before?" Eva asked.

"That was just nerves." I responded. "Nerves only go away the more you do it. I think it'll be fun."

"I didn't know you could sing." Nikki said.

"Oh, music runs in our family." Sarah said as she held Amy in her lap. "Our sister, Anna, is the lead singer in a rock band."

"Your sister...girl, how many sisters do you have?" Ariane asked.

"Three." I told her.

"Yep. Jessie and Leslie are the oldest. Then me, then Anna." Sarah said.

"Wait, you have a twin?" Brie asked, looking astonished at the news.

"Leslie Coleman." I replied.

"The director?" Trinity asked.

"Girl, if you have a twin, why isn't she here?" Nikki asked.

"Yeah, we could have done so much together!" Brie stated.

"We're fraternal twins." I told them. "We don't look alike."

Looked over at JoJo, who looked frightened. I wrapped my arms around the tiny girl's shoulders, giving her an encouraging hug.

"It will be before we go live nationally, so it's just the fans in the arena. Don't focus on cameras or the WWE Universe out there. Just you and me." I told her.

"You think I can do it?" She meekly asked.

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't." I told her.

JoJo looked over at Nattie for encouragement, who sweetly nodded. "Alright, I'm in."

We went into one of the private rooms in the arena to practice the song I had in mind. Several hours later, one of the assistants alerted us that we had ten minutes.

"So, you're good?" I asked her.

"I think so." She tried to sound confident, but was shaking like a leaf.

"Don't worry about it. Like I said, we aren't on Raw. No cameras. Don't look at the audience unless you are comfortable. It's just you and me having fun in the ring, got it?"

She let out a deep breath and began to relax. "Let's do this."

I held her hand as we walked down the ramp to my music. Once we were in the ring, we were both handed microphones before the music started to play.

"Where have all the good men gone  
And where are all the Gods?  
Where's the street-wise Hercules  
To fight the rising odds?"

I started off. As soon as I started to sing, the crowd was on their feet, both for love of the song and surprised by my voice. The look on JoJo's face was priceless. The nerves started to leave her as she began the next stanza.

"Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?  
Late at night I toss and I turn  
And I dream of what I need"

We continued our rendition of, "I Need a Hero."

An indescribable feeling came over me as we continued. When I got to the line "I could swear that there was someone, somewhere watching me." I looked up to where The Shield typically makes their entrance. Sure enough, my eyes locked on a particular tall, blue eyed blonde. I held his gaze until JoJo touched my shoulder and pointed to the main stage. Sure enough, sitting Indian-style at the top of the ramp, was Phil, who was watching the performance with a mixture of amusement and lust in his eyes.

We finished our performance and hugged in the ring. I couldn't have been prouder of her, overcoming her fear of being in front of the live crowd.

Phil was gone by the time we made our way up the ramp. As soon as we were in the back, we were both surrounded by our friends talking very animatedly with their praise.

"Did you get my roses?" I heard Phil's voice from behind once the group dispersed.

"I did." I said, turning around to face him. "And I think it's time we had a talk."


	15. Chapter 15

"Whenever anyone says 'we need to talk' it's never good." Phil looked at me gravely.

"None of that. This is a good conversation." I told him.

'Just not in the way you think' I stopped myself before continuing that thought.

Phil accepted my outstretched hand and we sat down next to each other on a couch in one of the empty reviewing rooms. I ran my thumb over his knuckles, trying to formulate the words properly that were etched on my heart.

"You said that we're family, and you're absolutely right. You, me, Shannon, and Amy are family. Nothing in this universe is ever going to change that, regardless if we're together or not." I began.

"I know that." Phil dismissively said. "Jess, I love you."

"And I love you too, Phil." He leaned forward to kiss me, but I pressed a finger against his lips. "But I'm in love with Jon."

"That's just insane to me." Phil ripped his hands away from me.

"Come on, Phil. You know better than that." I admonished.

He moved further down the couch, emanating a low growl. I shook my head and held back rolling my eyes. He wasn't going to make this easy for me.

"This isn't love, Phil. People in love don't do to each other what you've been doing to me. You're scared."

"Scared?" Phil swung his gaze back over to me. "What am I scared of?"

"You have a deep connection with a woman who isn't me. And that's something new and exciting and scary as shit."

Phil looked at me hard for a few moments before chuckling. "You've always been able to see right through me."

"You felt strong enough about AJ to sneak around behind my back with her. I'm going to get both of you back for that, by the way. Don't think you're off the hook." I warned.

"I am sorry about that." Phil genuinely said.

"I know." I told him. "You're not in love with me. You and I both know that. But our relationship is comfortable and has always existed between us. We're the metaphorical equivalent to a warm blanket. It's safe and secure and you know it's there. But Phil, I don't want that anymore. I want butterflies and fireworks and goosebumps. Neither of us have felt like that for the other in a long time."

"Since before Shannon was born." Phil softly admitted.

"Sarah unknowingly helped last night. She said that she based her main characters off of us in one of her books. I've read that book many times and I never saw the connection with us. But I think you and I both have a chance at a relationship like James and Kimberly have. It's just not with each other."

"You're talking me off of a ledge." Phil smirked at me.

"It's one of the things I do. And I always will."

He reached out and covered his tattooed hand over mine and gave it a squeeze. "I've been an ass, haven't I?"

"To me and to AJ. I think she is owed some groveling."

He ran his free hand through his short brown hair, breathing out deeply.

"We're okay though, right?" He asked.

"Absolutely." I said, pulling him in for a big hug.

"Thanks, Jess. You're the best."

"That must be you rubbing off on me." I said with a grin.

"Alright, so now what?" Phil asked as he leaned back on the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table in front.

"Now we're going to be the parents of two wonderful little girls and remain best friends. You go explore what you have with AJ." I encouraged.

"And what about your guy?" Phil asked.

I tried unsuccessfully to suppress a grin. "I'm going exploring too."

It didn't surprise me in the slightest the ease Phil and I slipped into the new boundaries of our relationship after I had outlined it. After our talk, I accompanied him to the ring. We both took to one knee simultaneously, checking our invisible watches and declaring that it was clobbering time.

It had been a while that I had managed Phil. Last year, he chose Paul Heyman over me. Recently, Phil decided not to have Paul manage him. That didn't go over too well with Paul. He came out to announce that he had replaced Phil with a new guy, introducing the audience to Curtis Axel. Axel came down the ramp and attempted to attack Phil, but the both of us knocked him out of the ring.

Shannon and Amy came running up to us once we came back through the curtain. I scooped up Shannon in my arms as Phil picked up Amy.

"Did you enjoy that?" I asked.

"Mommy, are you getting back together with Daddy?" Shannon asked, ignoring my question.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jon standing several feet from us. The look on his face told me that he heard my daughter's question and was anxious for the answer.

"No, baby, we're not." I replied.

"Good." Shannon said.

"That's good?" I asked in surprise.

"You should be happy, Mommy. As happy as Mr. Jon makes you." Shannon told me.

"And that's not Daddy." Amy chimed in.

Phil and I looked incredulously at each other then back at our girls. I bit my lip to keep from grinning.

"Out of the mouths of babes." Phil smirked.

"Did you hear that, Mr. Jon?" I looked over my shoulder to see him coming up beside me.

"I heard." Jon warmly said.

Shannon wiggled out of my arms, running over to Sarah. Phil gave me a wink before the little group walked off to give me and Jon some privacy.

"I got your email. And your flower. You remembered." I stated.

"Seth said to give you space so I did." Jon told me.

"And I'm glad. So." My voice trailed off slightly. "You still want to be with me?"

Jon pulled me close, stroking my cheek. "Every damn day."

All thought left my head when his lips met mine. I tugged on his black vest, clinging to his body as my heart started to race. He thrust his hand into my hair, moaning softly into my mouth. We were both panting slightly when we pulled away.

"I love you." I told him. "Thanks for waiting for me."

"I'm not that patient of a man, but Jess, you are worth waiting for."


	16. Chapter 16

"Can we get back to Jessie having a twin, please?" Nikki asked.

I almost choked on the piece of steak I had been eating.

The girls and I had gathered for lunch several days after the most eventual Raw in my recent history. Somehow, I knew due to the way I quickly brushed aside the news several days ago, one of the Bellas would bring it back up.

"Leslie is my fraternal twin. We do look alike, in the sisterly way. But we're not identical." I explained.

In a talking head segment for the show, I explained it a little more. "Leslie Coleman, the Golden Globe winning director, is my twin. We're two minutes apart. She's blonde with green eyes. She's never had any interest in wrestling."

"So you have a famous director, a world-renown author, and a rocker as siblings?" Trinity asked.

"Anna is the lead singer of the Midnight Roses." I told her.

"Girl, I love that band! Their latest album definitely the bomb dot com." Ariane said.

"I'll tell her you said that. She'll be thrilled." I said.

"So, everything is good?" Nattie questioned.

Better than good! I explained it in one of my interview segments so I reiterated everything for the divas. Things between Jon and me couldn't be better. Even Phil and AJ seemed to be doing good.

"Couldn't be better if I planned it out myself." I said with a grin. "But enough about me. How is the wedding planning going?" I asked.

Nattie's face instantly fell. "It's not, really. TJ just doesn't seem interested in helping me."

Her fiancee, TJ, was also a WWE superstar. He had major knee surgery last year and had been home rehabbing it since.

"He just hasn't been very attentive lately." Nattie confessed. "He treats me more like a buddy than his fiancee."

"Injury takes more than a toll on us, mentally and physically." I stated. "I'm sure it isn't an indictment of his feelings."

"Jess is right." Brie said. "I'm sure his focus on getting his knee better."

"He's been zero help in any of the wedding planning. He has zero interest in anything, really. He sits around the house with the cats and goes to rehab and watches TV." Nattie complained.

"Maybe you should bring a little sexy back around the house." Nikki suggested. "Go get some lingerie and surprise him."

"Does that really help?" Nattie wondered.

"I've never felt the need for lingerie. Maybe just try talking to him a little more. Bring out things that he would be interested in. Like food for the reception or the band." I suggested.

"You don't wear sexy little outfits?" Nikki asked me, looking mildly shocked. "How often do you, well, you know."

I laughed. "Nik, I am a 34-year-old woman with two kids who sleeps nightly next to a hot, much younger man. Every night." I replied.

Nattie turned bright red as the other girls laughed and gave me high fives. I looked over at Nattie, giving her a sympathetic smile.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" I asked.

"An embarrassingly long time." She admitted.

"So come with me this afternoon." Nikki offered. "We'll go shopping and find something to really turn TJ on."

Nattie looked over at me and I shrugged.

"Well, it couldn't hurt I guess." Nattie agreed.

"Oh, before we go, I wanted to get a head count for the party." I said, pulling a notebook out of my purse.

"Girl, count us in." Trinity told me.

"My baby girl is turning five!" I explained in my interview. "I can't believe how fast time goes by. And Shannon will be turning seven in July." I paused. "My sweet little Amy. So we're having a party to celebrate. Phil is supposed to be getting a coordinator to help out. Amy loves Disney, so we're outfitting the yard like Fantasyland. The kids will have a bunch of games to play, the adults will have plenty of alcohol as well."

"Me and Vinnie too." Ariane told me.

"Is that such a good idea?" Brie warily asked.

"Yeah, Vinnie being surrounded by a bunch of kids just seems a recipe for disaster." Nikki concurred.

"No, you guys. Vinnie is good with kids." Ariane insisted. "Jess?"

"Just tell him to go light on the beer and we'll be okay." I assured her. "I've already got Nikki and John's."

"Bryan and I wouldn't miss it." Brie told me.

"Alright, awesome." I said, checking them off of the list. "Thanks."

"I still have a lot of work to do to get ready for this party. First thing is to get up with Phil to get the name of the person he hired to help us." I explained in an interview.

I called Phil a few times but didn't get an answer. Then I remembered that he had a radio interview, so I went to the station and hung out until it was over.

"Isn't this a pleasant surprise." Phil said, hugging me. "What's up?"

"I need the number for the party planner." I told him.

For a moment, he stared at me with a blank face. Then the confusion set in.

"Party planner?" He questioned.

"You're joking, right? For Amy's party."

"Amy's party?"

I could tell by the look on his face that he wasn't joking. Somehow I managed to not punch him in the stomach.

"You do remember your daughter, right? The little girl typically seen hanging on you with short brown hair and brown eyes? She calls you Daddy." I told him.

"No reason to be snide, Jess. I'm sorry, but I forgot."

"Are you kidding me with this? Your daughter is turning five, and you forgot?" I demanded a response.

"I just got so caught up lately that it slipped my mind to call Casey." He told me.

Just great. Two days till Amy's party. How am I supposed to throw together the party in 48 hours?


	17. Chapter 17

As soon as I got back to the hotel, I pulled out my laptop and began to work at a furious pace.

"Everything okay?" Jon asked.

"No. My louse of an ex didn't keep his word to hire a party planner so now I'm losing my head." I told him.

I called several places from information I found online, but no one could pull off my plan in such a short amount of time. I didn't want to settle, and I didn't want a generic kids party. I really wanted that princess theme for Amy.

I let out a growl of frustration as I closed my laptop. Jon emerged from the bathroom and sat down on the bed, picking up my feet and began a massage.

"You look beyond frazzled. I drew up a bubble bath for you. Why don't you go relax and let me make a few calls." He sweetly said.

"Really?"

"Go on." He encouraged with a smile.

The bath really was wonderful. I soaked in the luxurious bubbles for a while, feeling my muscles relax. When I emerged from the bathroom, Jon had just ended a phone call.

"It's all taken care of." He told me.

"All of it?" I asked.

"Down to the decorations and the food. You have nothing to worry about." He told me.

"And just how-"

"Don't question." Jon told me, kissing the tip of my nose. "I actually had a backup plan in case Punk didn't fulfill his obligation."

"You wonderful man." I said, pouncing on him.

It was driving me crazy, not knowing what Jon had up his sleeve. He wouldn't tell me. Whenever I would ask, he would smile or shrug and told me I would be happy. I already was.

Still didn't hide my nervousness when we came back home two days later. Since we were on the road, I wasn't able to see the set up or the plans. Still, nothing could prepare me for when I stepped into my backyard.

"Jon..." I looked around in awe.

My entire backyard had been transformed. Whereas I had expected cheap balloons and streamers everywhere, it was a masterpiece. In the center of the yard was a huge replica of Cinderella's castle. New trees lined the area around it. Real lanterns and white lights hung around the yard. Tons of details brought out the fantasy that I had imagined.

"This looks like it could belong in a Disney movie." I said, looking around amazed.

A tall woman with long brown hair and thick black glasses emerged from behind the castle, clipboard in hand and barking out orders. When she saw me, her eyes lit up.

"Miss Coleman, I presume. I'm Tiffany Bauer. Jon has told me a lot about you." She said, extending her hand.

I happily accepted it, thanking her for all the work in such a short notice.

"Oh, it's not a problem. Jon explained everything to me." She casually said. "I just hope your little girl will be happy."

Jon wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, pulling me flesh to his chest. I turned around to face him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"You are amazing." I told him.

"Anything for my girls." He grinned.

Soon, the party was underway. My backyard was filled with approximately twenty or so kids, all having fun with the games that were set out. Amy emerged dress as Cinderella, with her hair pulled back and everything.

"The only thing missing was Phil." I said during the interview segment.

My heart felt like it grew two sizes as I watched Jon in the midst of all the kids, playing with them. He hoisted Amy up on his shoulders, parading her around. Her giggles rang in my ears as I was completely overcome with love.

"You want to take a guess at how many fan girls would claim their ovaries would explode watching this?" I teasingly asked Seth.

"And that's why he stays off of social media." Seth laughed. "Seriously, though, great party."

"Wouldn't have happened without him." I said.

A little while later, Phil and AJ showed up. Amy barely noticed he was there. Shannon, however, was very aware of his lateness and his lack of attentiveness.

"Hey, Dad." She coolly, handing him a slice of cake.

"Dad? Since when am I just Dad?" Phil asked.

"When you didn't show up hours ago." Shannon sourly said.

"Young lady, be nice." I admonished.

"Sorry, Dad." Shannon quickly apologized before disappearing back to the party.


	18. Chapter 18

Phil looked over at my helplessly. The only thing I could do was give him a sympathetic smile.

"Did you have to tell them that I messed up?" He asked.

"I didn't tell them anything." I insisted. "Look around you, Phil. This was something that you were supposed to do. Jon stepped in and did all this."

"Moxley did this?" Phil repeated, looking around in surprise.

"And their father shows up three hours later than he promised. Of course they are going to be upset."

Well, except for Amy. She was still up on Jon's shoulders as he proclaimed her to be the prettiest princess in the land. The look of pure delight on her face nearly made me tear up.

"I should probably go talk to Shannon." Phil murmured, excusing himself.

Stephanie McMahon came up to me, handing me a glass of punch. "You really set the bar high for kids parties."

We had grown closer several years ago when we were both pregnant at the same time with our children. Shannon was a week older than Aurora. Amy was two months older than her middle child, Murphy. When Stephanie got pregnant again with Vaughn, Stephanie jokingly asked me when I was going to make an announcement. I think she was disappointed when I didn't get pregnant with her.

"Sorry. Maybe for Shannon and Aurora's, we'll do a joint venture." I suggested.

Stephanie's eyes lit up. "And Murphy's is two days later. If we could do something for our three girls, I would love to coordinate that. Let's do it."

We both looked over to watch Jon set Amy down on her feet and then immediately get ganged up on by a gaggle of girls. I laughed as he got knocked over and was swarmed.

"Who would have thought that he was so good with children." Stephanie said.

"He's always been good with my kids, but this did take me by surprise." I admitted.

"He's a keeper, Jess."

"Steph." I called as she began to walk away. "You and Hunter ever think about a fourth?"

She looked at me thoughtfully before nodding. "A lot more recently. Hunter wants a boy so bad he can taste it. Why you ask?"

I gave a slight shrug. "Just curious."

The kids continued to play games and enjoy their sugar rush brought to them by the most delicious birthday cake I've ever had. I rescued Jon, smiling at him as I hand him a beer.

"You earned this." I told him as we sat down at a table, surrounded by a few of our friends.

"Nah." Jon said, setting the can down on the porch. "That was fun."

"You certainly looked like you were enjoying yourself." Brie noted.

"Just look at our girls." Jon nodded towards the kids, grinning.

That was the second time I heard him refer to Shannon and Amy as his or ours. Apparently I wasn't the only one that caught his wording.

"When did you start thinking of Shannon and Amy in those terms?" Seth asked.

"Huh?" Jon looked confused at him.

"You said our." I pointed out.

"I did?" He looked puzzled for a second before shrugging. "I guess for a while. Is that wrong?"

"Not at all." I told him.

In fact, I don't think I've ever been happier.

"Actually, I have a confession to make." Jon bashfully said, grabbing my hand.

Oh, no. Please don't do anything to shatter my illusion. I pleaded in my head.

"I should have talked to you before doing this. I guess I got a little carried away."

"Jon, just out with it." I shortly said.

He leaned into my ear, whispering what I thought would be a heartbreaking confession. Instead, I giggled. If this kept up, I would have to pinch him until he bled just to prove that he was real.

"Alright, everyone." I clapped my hands to get the kids attention. "Time for Amy to unwrap her presents."

The children cheered as Amy ran over to the huge table overflowing with gifts. One by one, the wrapping paper was ripped through. Each gift Amy got more and more excited.

"Momma, roller skates!" She jumped up and down over my gift. "Thank you!"

Phil handed her his present, the last on the table, for her to open. She happily kissed his cheek, thanking him for the Cinderella doll that was half as big as she was.

"Alright, my turn." Jon called Amy over to him, pulling her up to sit on his knee. "That castle right there is very special, Amy. It's as special as the one who owns it."

"You mean, Cinderella." She said.

"I mean you." He said.

Amy looked at him in surprise and then over to me.

"Go inside to see for yourself, sweetheart." I encouraged.

Her little eyes grew huge as she jumped off of Jon's lap and ran into the castle. We all laughed at the little shrieks inside. Shannon rushed in, the chorus becoming louder.

The castle was more than decoration. Jon actually built a playhouse for the girls. Complete with table and chairs and even a wardrobe to play dress up.

"Are you serious? Did he just build a castle?" Trinity asked.

"I should have talked to you before building it in your backyard." Jon apologetically said.

"Well, yeah, but this is fantastic. You can't get too good with the gift giving." I warned. "They'll grow to expect it."

"Good. Every year, it'll give me a challenge."

Every year. I felt like my heart was going to burst.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me." A low growl erupted behind me.

That's all it took for me to deflate. I knew that tone from Phil. He was pissed and wanted to fight.

"Phil, no. Don't do this. Not here." I sharply told him.

"You parade around here with my daughter up on your shoulders, kissing on the woman who should be mine, and giving out outlandish gifts? Who the hell do you think you are?" Phil blatantly ignoring my comments.

"Looks like I'm being a better man than you." Jon stood up, his fists clinched.

"No." I said, getting in between them. "Don't ruin this fantastic day."

I pressed my body against Jon's chest, forcing him to break his hard gaze at Phil and look at me. After a moment, his eyes softened.

"Jess is right. I'm not fighting with you today." Jon said.

I began to relax a little. At least he was going to be reasonable.

"What's a matter? I thought you were a better man than me." Phil goaded.

"Which is why I'm not going to punch your face in front of your children and _my_ woman." Jon wrapped an arm around me. "I love Jessie, Punk. I'd do anything to make her happy. I love Shannon and Amy, too. I'm a part of this family now."

Phil was close to blowing his top. To make matters worse, Amy, not realizing the tense situation, came over and tugged on Jon's hand.

"Come play with me in the castle." She encouraged.

"I don't think so." Phil growled.

I pushed Jon aside just as the punch meant for him connected with my jaw.


	19. Chapter 19

"Oh, shit, Jess. I'm sorry." I heard Phil say.

It was too late. The force of the blow knocked me to the ground. I grabbed my jaw, my body rocked with pain. Fresh blood filled my mouth almost automatically. Before I could do anything, Jon lunged on Phil. Thankfully, Roman, Hunter, Seth, and John jumped into action as well, pulling the two men apart.

I spit the blood from my mouth and scrambled up to my feet, stepping in between the two men again. Jon apparently got in a few good blows before Hunter and Seth grabbed him off. Phil's mouth and eye was already beginning to swell. Jon growled to be let go, but upon seeing me on my feet, he started to calm down.

"Knock it off." Hunter ordered both of them.

"He started this." Phil petulantly said.

"You punched Jessie!" Jon exclaimed.

"I said cut it out." Hunter snapped.

Both of them stared hard at each other, but didn't say anything.

"Now, if we let you go, will you act like adults?" Hunter asked.

Jon's eyes darted over to me, watching me as I wiped the fresh blood from the corner of my mouth. My eyes pleaded with him to calm down to which he did concede.

"I'm fine." Jon said, causing Seth and Hunter to let him go.

He kissed my cheek and forehead before I buried my face into his chest.

"Alright." Phil relented. "Jessie, I am sorry."

"Just get out of here." Jon told him.

"Hey, this is my daughter's birthday. I have every right to be here." Phil growled.

My mouth was swelling too bad for me to speak. I shook my head, wishing I could order him off of the property.

"Go." Seth ordered.

The swelling in my mouth continued. Stephanie handed me a bag of ice to hold to my face. Phil looked over at me and then down at the tear-stained faces of Shannon and Amy.

"This isn't over." He vowed before storming out, with AJ fast on his heels.

Jon pulled a chair out for me to sit down. He pulled the ice pack away from my face, assessing my jaw.

"You okay?" Seth asked.

"Yeah." I couldn't tell them in front of my girls that it hurt like a bitch.

"Well, you took that punch better than half the guys in the locker room." John joked.

I glared at my oldest friend, not in a particular jovial mood.

"Momma, did I do something wrong?" Amy asked.

"Oh, sweetheart." I picked her up and placed her on my knee. "Of course not. It's just that Daddy and Jon have some issues to work out."

"Dad." Shannon corrected. "Dad was being a jerk."

"Shannon!" I admonished.

"Sorry, Momma, but he was." Shannon said.

"What a way to bring a great party to a screeching halt." Vinnie commented.

"Sorry about this, everyone." I stated.

"There's nothing for you to apologize for." Stephanie told me.

"Jessie, I'm sorry." Jon looked at me bashfully.

"No." I said, tugging on his shirt to bring him eye level with me. "You didn't do this. You were great."

This is a man who loves me and defended me, who also loves my girls unconditionally, and bent over backwards to give Amy a wonderful birthday. Right now, I couldn't ask for anything more.

The party dissipated quickly after that. The swelling in my jaw had started to subside as we cleaned up the mess left behind by the children.

The thought had been rattling around in my head all day, but after the incident with Phil, I couldn't think of a better idea.

"What are your thoughts of moving in here?" I asked Jon.

His blue eyes lit up. Jon wrapped his arms around me, swinging me around.

"Absolutely." He told me.

I had been slightly nervous about talking to the girls about it. My fears were unwarranted.

"How would you feel if Jon moved in permanently with us?" I asked.

Excitement washed over their eager faces. Shannon hesitated for a moment. "What about Dad? Wouldn't he be mad?"

"Let me deal with your father." Jon gently said.

Amy crawled onto Jon's lap, planting a tiny kiss on his cheek. "Thank you."

"For the party?" I asked.

"Not just the party. You make my momma happy. I love you." She said, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck.

Tears quickly filled my eyes as I watched Shannon jump onto Jon's other leg, snuggling up against his chest.

Even though it was still technically early in our relationship, this just felt right. I know I could spend the rest of my life with this man, being deliriously happy.

In the back of my mind, I knew that the happier I was, the more trouble would be brewing with Phil.


	20. Chapter 20

"Girl, this is exactly what we need." Ariane said as she sat down in the salon chair.

Trinity, Ariane, Nattie, and I were having a pampering day. We had rented out an entire salon for a much needed relaxation day.

Nattie and I sat down next to each other, getting a pedicure. Trinity and Ariane were getting a manicure.

"Jessie, how's it going with the move?" Nattie asked.

"It's the most drama-free move I've ever been a part of." I replied.

"Seriously?" Trinity looked over in surprise.

"No kidding. The transition to moving Jon into the house has been nearly seamless." I told them.

"Well, except for Punk, right?" Ariane asked.

I pressed my lips together. Phil was upset when I told him that Jon was moving in. It had been another fight between us, but ultimately he had no say.

"Maybe Punk just feels it is too soon." Nattie suggested. "It is a big step."

"No, it is a big step, but you've got to remember, this is Jon's and my second time around. Before we were together for a year. And now it's a mix of making up for lost time and feeling like no time has passed at all."

"How are the girls dealing with it?" Nattie asked.

"Great. They love Jon. I've never seen anything like it."

"Maybe that's Punk's problem." Trinity said.

She couldn't have been more right about that. Phil was getting increasingly more aggravated at how close Jon is with the girls.

"Jon told me last night that he feels like he should have been Amy's father."

"Seriously?" Ariane bolted upright in her chair. The nail technician snapped to make her sit back down.

"Well, we broke up in August. I got pregnant with Amy in October. We found out on a Christmas cruise."

Had he fought for us like he wanted to, but was too scared to, it's highly probable that he would be right.

"Unfortunately, the way Phil has been acting is causing a rift between him and the girls. Well, Shannon. She's too much like her father in that regard. Shannon told me that she sees me happy and we have a warm, loving family and Phil is either absent or argumentative. Amy is more forgiving, but it's starting to take a toll on her as well."

I left out that Shannon stopped calling Phil 'Dad' and now refers to him as 'Father.' I had pressed upon him the need for him to spend more time with them, which is what he was doing today.

"Hopefully some father-daughter time will do them all some good." Ariane said, hope filling her voice.

"I hope so." I sighed. "Anyway, enough about that. Nattie, how are things with TJ?"

"Yeah, did Nikki's advice help?" Ariane asked.

"No." Nattie sourly said. "He brushed my hair like a dog and watched TV."

"You're kidding." Trinity said.

"In my underwear." Nattie replied.

"Oh, honey." Trinity sighed.

"You need to take control." I told her.

"What?" Nattie turned to look at me.

"Be the one who initiates. I know when I hurt my shoulder, I didn't feel sexy at all." I said. "Let TJ know that you still want him. I'm big on communication."

"I've never been good at that sort of thing." Nattie bashfully said.

"I think Jessie is right, Nat." Trinity said. "You need to take TJ by the hand and remind him what a woman you are."

Nattie turned bright red as the rest of us laughed.

"It's easy for you to say. I've only ever been with TJ." Nattie stated.

"Nat, sweetheart, I've only been with three guys in my life." I told her.

"Three?" Ariane looked at me in surprise. "You've only been with three guys?"

"I didn't lose my virginity until I was 20." I said with a shrug.

"Good for you, Jess. I wish my number was that low." Trinity said.

"Let's not talk about numbers." Ariane said.

I chuckled. "Sorry, ladies. I'm just saying that numbers don't matter. You've got to feel comfortable in your own body. Know that you can own your sexuality and take control."

We all had a massage afterward then sat in a steam room.

"We need to do this once a month." Ariane said, covering her face with a towel.

"What do you mean by owning your sexuality?" Nattie asked me.

I was grateful that the cameras couldn't follow us into the sauna. I stood up in front of Nattie and cast aside my towel. Nattie turned away, blushing bright red.

"No, look at me." I encouraged. I was far from an exhibitionist, but I had a point to prove. "I'm comfortable in my own skin. My body is far from perfect, but I accept it."

"Look at your little white girl booty." Trinity said with a laugh.

"Not everyone is as blessed as you, Trin." I grinned.

"Girl, you're blessed in other ways. I wish I had boobs like yours." Ariane said.

"God delivered them, I signed for them." I said.

"Those are natural? No way." Ariane said.

I laughed. "See, Nat? Your confidence must extend past the ring. My body doesn't control me. No man controls it, either."

"You know what?" Nattie said, handing me her towel but remained seated. She leaned back against the wall, closing her eyes. "This is a little liberating."

"Here." I said, wrapping myself back in my towel then handed hers back. "Now try that on TJ tonight."

Every cell in my body felt relaxed after our day as I head back to the hotel. If only that feeling could have lasted.

The echoed sounds of yelling in the hall grew louder the closer I got. I sprinted into a run once I recognized the voices.

"What the hell is going on?" I demanded as the door swung open.

Phil looked furious. Jon was able to keep his lid on, but just barely. I could see the veins pop in his neck as he showed restraint. Standing in between them was probably the only thing keeping the two men from throwing punches: Shannon and Amy.

As soon as they saw me, Shannon and Amy rushed over. I took a knee in front of them, gauging their faces.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Of course they are okay. Do you think I would harm _my_ children?" Phil snapped.

"Ms Trinity and Mr Jimmy are in room 217 down the hall. Why don't you go say hi?" I encouraged.

They bolted from the door, unable to leave the room fast enough. I crossed my arms over my chest, glaring at both of them. Phil opened his mouth to speak, but I held up my hand to cut him off.

"Nothing." I bitterly said. "Can excuse the two of you yelling in front of them. I don't care what." I raised my voice slightly as Jon started to speak. "What the hell is wrong with you two? Those two girls are acting more mature than you two regarding this situation."

Jon looked rightfully abashed. Phil looked completely unmoved and mad as hell.

"Listen to me." I sternly said. "I don't care what your problem is, Phil. Just fix it. If you want to be a part of this family and their lives, fix it."


	21. Chapter 21

Things were escalating between Jon and Phil. Thankfully, after the fight in the hotel room, they kept it away from the girls. I wasn't sure how much more I could take when suddenly, it seemed to stop.

Phil seemed to be back to his usual, semi-grumpy self. He would joke with Jon, seemed to be comfortable around us. He was even spending more time with the girls.

"I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop." I confessed to John.

"You're going to jinx it." He warily told me.

John and I were putting up the free weights at the gym, having finished a particularly grueling workout. Lately, our fitness routine has been the only time that it's just been me and John.

"I'm not trying to."

"What were they arguing about, anyway?" John asked.

"Want to know how silly this situation is? Phil had taken the girls for the spa day and they were supposed to spend the night. They forgot their overnight bag, so they came back to the hotel to get it."

"Doesn't seem silly so far."

"Jon asked Phil to bring the girls back early the next day. He said that he had planned a big family day for the four of us."

"Ah, and Punk lost his head."

"You got it."

"I honestly get where you are coming from, but just relax. Either Punk has finally come around and accepted it or he's good at faking."

"Or he's planning something." I flatly said. "I don't trust it."

"Honestly, Jessie, I think it's fine. He's a grown man who knows he lost."

That's what I'm afraid of. Phil didn't lose well.

Instead of voicing the concern, I simply shrugged. Maybe John was right and I was just being paranoid.

"Anyway, some news on my end." John said. "I'm thinking about asking Nikki to move in."

John laughed at the stunned look on my face. It took me a few moments to clear my reaction.

"That's huge for you. Are you sure?" I asked.

"I love her." John replied.

"Well, bud, I'm happy for you."

"Here's the thing." John rubbed his head. "I think I need an out, in case something happens."

I automatically frowned. "John..."

"I know, but you remember what it was like with Elizabeth. It would be a simple document that just outlines a few things."

"Like a renter's agreement." I said.

John's ears started to turn pink. "When you say it that way..."

"Come on, John." I shook my head.

"Bad idea?" He asked.

I had longed suspected that John had an issue with OCD. To him, this document would just be as an insurance policy for him, but I knew Nikki wouldn't see it that way.

"She's not going to understand." I told him. "If you do this, just tell her about it before she moves from Phoenix."

But John didn't heed my advice. When Nikki excitedly told us that she was moving in with John, there was no mention of the agreement.

"Bad play." I told him.

"Look, if I give her the paper before she's here, she might not come. I really want to live with this woman."

"John, don't trick her. Do the right thing."

"You aren't going to say anything, are you?"

"I think this would be better coming from you, but you should talk to her." I said.

"I will. After Nattie's wedding." John promised. "I think I'll start off small. Ask her to meet my family."

"That's not small, John."

"You know what I mean. It'll be a good ice breaker."

"You think you'll change your mind about getting remarried?" I asked.

"Absolutely not." John automatically said.

"Hey." I said, grabbing his arm. His cool blue eyes met mine, looking determined. "Not every marriage is you and Elizabeth."

"I know that. But you know how everything changed between us after we got married. I couldn't handle that with Nikki."

"You really love her, don't you?"

"I really do."

"Alright, buddy. I'm not going to lecture you."

"Good. I don't think I could handle any Jessie Coleman speeches right now." He half-jokingly said.

"Ha ha." I punched him lightly in the arm.

John laughed, playfully rubbing his arm. I teasingly called him a big wuss.

"Seriously though, if you are that concerned that the other shoe will drop soon, then take my advice. Enjoy the serene while you can."

Later that night, Jon and I gathered with the others to celebrate Nattie's wedding. Thankfully, Sarah had agreed to stay with the girls for the night. The party seemed to be hopping in the club. Ariane brought Vinnie, who got real drunk real quick. I thought Jimmy was going to punch him out at one point. Everyone seemed to be having a good time, especially Brie, who was dangerously close to entering in 'Brie Mode' as Nikki called it. I looked over at Nattie, who seemed to be lost in her phone.

"You're missing one hell of a party in your honor." I pointed out.

"I'm sorry. It's just, well, you remember Jaret, right?" Nattie asked.

Jaret had been an hold friend of Nattie's. She had gotten into a fight with TJ on her birthday and ended up spending her birthday dinner with him. Brie and I both had previously told her that she was dangerously flirting with temptation.

"You've been texting him all night?" I asked.

"He's really sweet and attentive. I just miss that." She said.

"This is dangerously close, Nat. Don't you want to marry TJ?"

"Of course I do. It's just nice, you know?"

"The attention?"

"Yeah." She downtrodden said.

"I think you should stop texting him." I told her.

"I know. You're right." She said.

I watched her for a second, her thumb still poised on her keyboard. "Do I need to take your phone from you?"

"No." She said, sliding her phone into her pocket. "It's okay."

I couldn't have been happier the next day watching Nattie and TJ get married. Jaret did show up to the wedding, which did upset TJ. Thankfully, they were able to move passed it. The next several days went by without any incidents which is why I was taken completely by surprise when the other shoe did drop.

Only it wasn't Phil. It was AJ.


	22. Chapter 22

"You bitch!" I heard AJ scream.

I had just turned to see what was going on when she speared me right off the bench in the locker room. Before I could move, she grabbed me by my head and smashed me against the concrete floor. My forearm connected with her face, right across the nose. When she cried out from the shock and pain, I shoved her hard against the chest, knocking her off of me.

She rolled backwards, trying to recover. When she attempted to jump on me again, Nattie and Brie stopped her.

"Are you crazy?" I asked her, getting myself back to my feet.

"Don't you call me crazy!" AJ yelled.

"Don't act like one." I challenged.

"AJ, calm down." Brie told her.

"I swear to God, I'll mop the floor with you." AJ snarled.

"Well come on then, munchkin. Let's see what you got." I encouraged, holding my arms out to the side.

AJ let out an aggravated howl, pulling on Brie and Nattie to let her go.

"Take her to the showers to cool off." Nikki said.

AJ's garbled cries echoed throughout the tile in the showers. I rubbed the back of my head, feeling a large lump forming.

"Are you alright?" Trinity asked.

"Little troll better be glad I didn't break her nose." I bitterly said.

"Wonder what set her off?" Ariane asked.

"Wanna take a wild guess? Go on. Just take a stab." I sharply said.

Phil. I stormed into the men's locker room, smacking his headphones off of his ears.

"What the hell, Jessie?"

"Care to tell me why your girlfriend just pounced on me in the locker room?" I demanded.

"AJ did what?" Phil asked the same time Jon asked, "Are you okay?'

"I'm fine, but she won't be if she tries a stunt like that again. Now what's going on?"

Phil ran his hand through his short brown hair. "Can we take this in private?"

"Spit it out." I aggressively told him.

I didn't care that all eyes in the locker room were on us. I stood before him, arms crossed over my chest defensively. Phil sighed, his expression unreadable.

"After seeing how well we've all been getting along lately and how you and Jon have been, AJ suggested the two of us moving in together."

"And?" I prodded.

"And I told her no."

"Alright then, why did she jump on me?" I question.

"Because I might have blamed you for me saying no." Phil winced.

"Blamed me?" I looked taken aback. "How did you pin this on me?"

"I sorta told her that you had a problem with her being around the kids." He told me.

"Explain. Now." I sharply said.

"I told AJ that you had a problem with her being around our girls. I said that you felt like she was too young and immature to be responsible when I was with them."

"You lied." I bit back.

"I did. I'm sorry."

I reared back and punched him in the jaw. Phil fell to the floor, blood starting to drip out of the corner of his mouth. Without saying another word, I turned on my heels and went back into the locker room.

AJ was drying off with a towel when I came back in. I threw my hands up in front of me defensively, telling her to hold on a second.

"I never said any of what he told you." I told her.

"Your a liar." AJ threw back at me.

"No, I'm not. The girls love you. They have always said good things about you when you're with Phil and them. I don't have a problem, AJ." I told her.

"No, you're still pissed at me for stealing him from you." She fired back.

"Steal? Maybe at the time, but honey, you can have him." I said.

"Don't give me that. You still want him, I know it. You can lie to him and Dean, but you aren't fooling me."

"Girl, I really think you lost it." I shook my head.

"You stay away from him, you hear me?"

"April, I don't want him anymore! This whole thing is stupid."

"You're stupid if you think you're going to pull one over on me. You even use your girls as a ruse to spend more time with him."

"Alright, this conversation isn't going anywhere. Talk to me when you have a lick of sense in your head."

"I'm going to get you, Jessie. Just you wait." AJ vowed.


	23. Chapter 23

"Has that AJ person attempted anything else on you?" My sister, Leslie, asked.

For the first time in several years, all four of the Coleman sisters gathered together in the home where we grew up in West Newbury. It was our father's 65th birthday and thankfully we could all be together to celebrate.

It had been a week since our heated confrontation in the locker room. Things between Phil and me were tense to say the least. Between AJ, well...

"She's crazy, that's what she is." Sarah spoke up. "I've never seen anything like it."

"It's all passive-aggressive nonsense." I said with a shrug.

"You should be careful, Jess. She sounds like she has a screw missing or something." My youngest sister, Anna, told me.

"I think it'll be fine." I shrugged.

"Don't sound so dismissive." Leslie said. "This is a person who is around your ex and has access to your children."

"AJ knows better than to do anything to Shannon or Amy." I said.

"Personally, I don't know why you don't just punch her teeth down her throat." Anna said.

"Anna!" Sarah exclaimed in surprise.

"What? She verbally and physically attacked Jessie. She's a pro wrestler, right? Jessie can take her."

"Just because I can doesn't mean I should." I pointed out. "I don't want to lose my job."

"You know how to handle crazy women?" Leslie asked.

"Don't indulge them." I stated.

"Exactly. You can't let her think she's under your skin, Jessie."

And I didn't. I spent the next two days in Massachusetts before returning to Chicago. When I got home, Jon was on the road at a Smackdown house show. I spent a quiet evening with the girls and thought I had gone to bed without incident.

Sun started to pour in through the blinds the next morning. A warm pair of arms was wrapped around me, holding me tight. I sighed contently, nuzzling his chest. I felt a familiar pair of lips brush against my forehead and I stiffened.

"Phil?" I sat up in alarm.

"Jess, shhh. We still have time before the girls wake up."

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean, what am I doing here?"

My heart was thumping loudly against my rib cage. Down the hall, I could hear a loud chorus of Shannon and Amy greeting Jon, who had just arrived home.

"What's going on?" I asked, pulling away from him.

"I got your text last night, remember?"

"What text, Phil?"

"You said that you wanted us to get back together. So here I am."

I could hear John bickering with AJ down the hall. I had just climbed out of bed when my bedroom door flew open.

"See, told you we would find them together." AJ said, her arms firmly over her chest.


	24. Chapter 24

"Someone tell me what the hell is going on?" My voice was close to shouting.

"Don't act dumb. It doesn't look good on you." AJ retorted.

"Jessie, what the hell is this?" Jon asked.

"Alright, I know this is awkward." Phil stated as he pushed back the covers.

My hand covered my eyes as he got out of bed. He was only in his underwear.

"Awkward? You call this awkward?" Jon angrily said. "I call this an ass beating."

"Don't take it out on Jessie." Phil said, pulling on a pair of sweats.

"Why would I take this out on Jessie? It was AJ who set her up." Jon challenged.

"What?" AJ screeched.

I threw my arms around Jon's neck. He held me tightly, momentarily dotting little kisses on my neck.

"Thank God." I breathed out.

"Come on, man. Either you were a part of this set up or you were set up, too." Jon told Phil. "Which is it?"

"What are you talking about? I got a text from Jessie last night." Phil grabbed his iPhone from the nightstand and handed it to Jon.

We both went through his phone and sure enough, a few text messages that supposedly came from me were there. I shook my head.

"I didn't send those." I said.

"And either you two didn't have sex or you didn't do it right." Jon said with a small grin. "I know Jessie's 'after' face."

I playfully smacked his chest, trying hard to contain my grin.

"I knew AJ was up to something when she started blowing up my phone as soon as I got off the plane that you two were together. I played along to see what her end game was." Jon looked pointedly at her. "You're not very clever."

"AJ, did you catfish me?" I asked.

The three of us were staring at her, waiting for a response. AJ looked like she was waiting for the floor to swallow her up.

"Okay, yes I did." She confessed. "But only to prove a point."

"What point?" Phil fumed.

Judging by the look on his face, he was the only one tricked by her little scheme.

"That you two still want each other."

"AJ, there's nothing between me and Phil anymore." I told her.

"Yet you woke up to him in your bed." She pointed out.

"Only because I believed what I thought was Jessie last night. That it would be best for our girls if we got back together." Phil told her.

"You mean to tell me that you aren't still in love with her?" AJ questioned.

"That's what I'm saying. I do love her, but only as my friend and the mother of my girls. Nothing romantic." He confessed.

I looked over at Jon, completely amazed at what I'm witnessing. Instead of Phil getting mad over her crazy, he took AJ into his arms, dotting kisses all over her face.

"Let's get out of here." Phil said, grabbing his shirt.

AJ giggled, skipping out of the room.

I was completely flabbergasted over these turn of events.

"What just happened?" I asked, looking up at Jon.

"I have no clue." Jon said, kissing my temple.

"Thank God you didn't believe any of it."

"Too many red flags for me to think for a second that you would really be back in his arms. It was all too preposterous, especially coming from AJ. But that does bring to mind something I wanted to ask you."

Jon led me over to the bed, taking my hands in his.

"What are your thoughts about moving out of Chicago?" He asked.

"Moving?" I looked at him blankly.

"Leaving the state. We can go wherever you want."

The reason why I stayed in Chicago after Phil and I broke up was so he could spend time with the girls whenever he could. If we left, that would put a big strain on their relationship.

"I don't know if I could do that." I told him.

"You don't have to give an answer right now. Just think about it. Right now the girls are traveling with you, so he can still see them all the time."

"Until September." I told him. "Shannon is turning seven and I decided against home schooling."

"We can figure it out, Jess. But think about the strain all of this unnecessary drama is placing on them." He draped an arm around my shoulder. "We can find a new place to call home. You, me, and the girls."

A fresh start for us. I always did hate the Illinois weather, and that's saying something coming from a girl who was raised in Massachusetts.

"Phil will lose his mind." I stated.

"I don't care about him. I care about us. You have no obligation to him. He's not paying child support. You have no formal agreement on visitation."

"Gah, courts." I wrinkled up my nose. "No thank you."

"Just think about it, alright?"

I assured him that I would. Jon gave me a bright smile, kissing me so passionately that it took my breath away.

Tiny footsteps running in the hall forced us to break our embrace. "Later." I promised.

We head down the stairs for breakfast. I stopped at the foot of the stairs to watch AJ pour Shannon a glass of orange juice.

"I made pancakes." She told us. "As a peace offering."

My eyes flitted to Jon then over at Phil.

"Thanks." I said, unsure what she was plotting.

"I have no game here, Jessie." She said, reading my face. "Just sit. Enjoy."

I poured coffee for me and Jon, taking a seat at the table. The girls were so excited to wake up to have their dad there that they didn't question the tension radiating in the room. Slowly I started to relax. AJ may be nuts, but she wasn't crazy enough to pull something in front of my girls.

I glanced around the room, wondering what it would be like to start over in a new city with Jon. I had bought the house with my first Wrestlemania paycheck. It had been home for the last eight years. It was too big for us at the time. I wasn't even pregnant with Shannon when I bought it. I always thought that Phil and I would raise our family here.

But there wasn't a Phil and I anymore. And we were finally in a place where we could be friends without tension or thoughts of reconciling. I gazed over at Jon, whose smile made my stomach flip.

"Refill?" AJ asked, breaking into my thoughts.

She poured the coffee until the cup overflowed, then 'accidentally' poured hot coffee into my lap. I jumped away from the table, biting my lip to keep from cursing in front of the girls.

"That's it!" I slammed my fist against the table. "I'm going to Stephanie. I have had it with you."

"Jessie, it was an accident." Phil sharply told me.

"If you believe that, you're either just as crazy as she is or blind."

AJ flipped her black hair over her shoulder, grinning at me as she handed me a towel.

"Overreacting to a little coffee, aren't you?" She asked.

"You and I are going to finish this, once and for all." I fumed. "I'll see you in the ring."


	25. Chapter 25

Phil's pleas for me not to go through with the match fell on death ears. AJ would learn that she messed with the wrong woman.

I promised myself I would remain my composure and after this, I would be done. First and foremost, I was a professional. I had no intention on actually hurting AJ, but she needed to be taught a lesson.

I stood in one of the turnbuckles as I watched AJ come skipping around the ring for our match. No one was at ringside with us, but I knew Jon and Phil would be watching on monitors in the back.

We stood toe-to-toe in the ring, AJ only coming up to my chest level. I looked down at the shorter woman, smirking slightly. The confident expression quickly left her face.

"You want to see best in the world?" I asked. "Go ahead, take your best shot."

This wasn't for the divas title. I didn't care about that in this moment.

AJ pulled back and slapped me across the face. My head whipped to the side, the sound echoing throughout the arena. The slap left a hand print on my cheek. Her eyes widened when I turned back to her, the smirk still apparent on my face.

"That was it? Alright." I said, rocking her with a slap of my own.

AJ hit the mat hard, holding her face. I pulled her back to her feet and sent her off to the ropes. She attempted to clothesline me, but I connected with a DDT.

From our position on the canvas, I floated over to put her in an armbar, putting pressure on her shoulder with my elbow. AJ pushed us to our feet, landing with a kick to my mid-section. I let go of my hold and she bounced off the ropes, but I caught her and brought her throat down on the top rope.

I hooked underneath her arms, having her back pressed against mine and threw her. I could hear the air rush out of her lungs when she landed. She kicked out at the count of two.

We went back and forth for several minutes, trading holds and blows. With me being taller and stronger than she is, I quickly got the upper hand. I landed a jawbreaker on her which she fell to her knees.

"Alright, alright." She tried to wave me off. "I won't mess with you anymore."

"Good." I said, hitting her with a dropkick.

I grabbed her for a bulldog, but she slipped out before jumping on my back to get me in her Black Widow submission. I walked back to the ropes, using it to rebound and roll forward. As soon as we lande, I hooked her leg and went for another pin. Another kick out at two.

That's it. I was done. My tear-drop suplex forced her to land perfectly in the center of the ring. There wouldn't be a kick out this time.

"One! Two! Three!" The referee counted her shoulders to the mat.

I pressed two fingers to my lips then against her forehead. To rub a little extra salt in the wound, I skipped back up the ramp.

Jon threw his arms around me the instant I was through the curtain, swinging me around.

"That was terrific." Jon said.

"Great job out there, Jess." Seth congratulated me.

"Someone may need to scrap AJ off of the mat." Roman said with a grin.

"Thanks, guys." I said once Jon put me back on my feet.

I walked over to where Phil was sitting. He took his headphones off as I approached, raising an eyebrow at me.

"You mad?" I asked.

"Nah." Phil shrugged. "We're okay, right?"

"Yeah, yeah we're okay." I assured him.

When AJ came into the back, I half expected her to go off or just ignore me. Instead, she jumped up in my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist.

"Woah, what's going on?" I asked, slightly alarmed.

"Wrestlers are weird." Sarah noted. I nodded in agreement with her.

"I'm sorry. For everything. Can we go back to being friends?" AJ asked.

"You going to throw coffee at me, jump me in the locker room, or try to convince the man I love that I'm cheating on him?"

"I did kinda lose my head there, didn't I?" She sheepishly asked.

"Uh, a tad." I nodded.

"Yes, I promise I won't go off the deep end again."

I unwrapped her from my body, sitting her down on Phil's lap.

"Alright, I'll give you another chance." I told her.

A pair of strong, muscular arms wrapped around me from behind. I wiggled around, tugging on Jon's black vest.

"In case I hadn't told you today, I love you." I said.

"I love you." He bent down to kiss me.

Seth cleared his throat after a few moments. Reluctantly, we broke the kiss. Jon pressed his forehead against mine, not wanting to let go of our moment.

"Alright, let's talk seriously about moving." I said.


	26. Chapter 26

We sat down that night to hammer out ideas before putting a plan together.

Last school year, Shannon went to a public school in Chicago. My dad offered to stay with us for the year to help us out, which was wonderful. When Phil and I split, I decided on a new plan. This time around, Jon convinced me to hire someone to come on the road with us.

"Amy will need a teacher as well." Jon mentioned.

He was right. I knew it was a selfish thing on my part, not wanting to be away from them four to five days a week. I just need my babies with me.

We both decided if we were moving, we didn't want to stay up north. I've had enough freezing winters. I suggested maybe looking for a place out in Nevada, but Jon said he had grown tired of the desert. More than half of our wrestling friends are scattered throughout Florida, so that seemed to be a logical place to start looking.

Nikki and John accompanied us house hunting. The first few houses shown to us by our realtor, Celeste, I quickly dismissed.

"Too spread out." I said. "I want a big house, but I still want it to feel intimate."

That was a problem I had with John's house. Yes, it was beautiful, but it didn't feel personal at all. Too spread out, plus John didn't have any really personal items out. The girls have only been to his house twice and both times they stayed close to my side. Not because my children couldn't behave themselves, but because the house felt more like an art museum or something.

As soon as we pulled up to a place several houses down from John, I knew we had found the right place. A tall tree stood in the back of the front yard, not far from the fence. A stone walkway led up to a large front porch. A two car garage was detached from the rest of the house.

Jon and I held hands as we walked up the porch, excitement running through both of our veins. We both just knew it would be perfect for us.

The inside couldn't have been more perfect if I had designed it myself. There was a large sliding glass door from the living room that led to the large backyard. The kitchen had a cut out window that looked into the living room as well.

The kitchen was good size and even had a bar. Downstairs had two rooms and a half bath. Upstairs had four bedrooms and two baths.

"There's enough room to put in a pool next to the princess castle." Jon muttered to me.

I happily nodded in agreement.

This house was twice the size as mine in Chicago, but it felt much more intimate. I was already mentally decorating the house, deciding on which room downstairs would be set up as an office when it didn't occur to me that as much as both of us have referenced a future, we haven't officially made plans.

Was this house the first time in that with me and Jon? Is it too soon to talk about the potential for marriage? I didn't even know where to begin to tell him that I wanted another baby.

Then there would be the tricky subject of breaking the news to Phil.

"So, what do you think?" Celeste asked.

"I think it's fantastic." Nikki commented.

"Plenty of room to grow in. I've got a guy you can call to help you remodel." John suggested.

John flashed me a quick grin. I didn't have to say anything for him to know I was already planning on remodeling the kitchen.

"Shall I get started on the paperwork?" Celeste asked.

Jon and I looked at each other for a moment, reading the other's eyes. It shouldn't amaze me, we always seemed to talk better when we weren't being vocal.

"Absolutely." I said.

"Great. Is the house strictly in your name?" Celeste raised a polished eyebrow at the question.

I had gotten the vibe that she was curious about the nature of our relationship. We both grinned simultaneously at her.

"Nope." Jon shook his head.


	27. Chapter 27

"Over my dead body!" Phil roared.

Jon and I gave each other a meaningful look and shook our heads. Just once I wish Phil would react differently than I anticipated.

"Phil, let's be reasonable-" I started, but he cut me off.

"You're planning on taking my girls away from me, and you're telling me to be reasonable?" Phil fumed.

"No one is taking Shannon and Amy away from you." Jon jumped in.

Phil gave him a scornful look before turning back to address me.

"You knew better than to sign papers without talking to me."

"Now hold on right there." I sharply said. "We have no legal agreement to stay in Illinois. I just always had. How dare you infringe on my right-"

"I am their father!"

"And you still are, bonehead." I fired back. "No one is saying that you can't still see them whenever you want."

"Don't you think it will be difficult when you are taking them out of state?"

"They are going on the road with me-"

"Until Shannon starts school." Phil cut me off.

"Would you calm down before I knock you on your ass?" Jon said. "We have a plan-"

"Which you didn't discuss with me." Phil fumed.

"Seriously, stop." I placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and made him look me in the eyes. "If you think I would deny you anything when it comes to them, you must really think of me as hateful."

Phil opened his mouth to unleash a tirade but pulled back. After a moment, he sighed and softened his expression.

"No, of course not. It's just shocking."

"I know." I gave his shoulder a squeeze. "But you have to know you were taken into account with this decision."

Phil gave my hand a squeeze before knocking it away. "Alright, so talk."

Jon and I launched into our plan with school and our thoughts on the future.

"You'll still see them and they can take turns on weeks staying in Chicago." I said.

"You're really moving forward, aren't you?" Phil asked almost as if he was afraid of the answer.

"Aren't we both?" I questioned.

Phil chewed on the inside of his cheek. Reading the expression on his face, I gave Jon a quick kiss, asking for a moment alone with Phil. He reluctantly agreed.

"Out with it." I said.

"Why did it have to be him?" Phil asked.

"Jon?" Phil nodded. "I fell in love with him."

"I know, I have eyes. Just, why him?"

"I don't know how to answer that, Phil."

"Don't you remember who he used to be?"

"The key phrase there is used to be." I pointed out.

"Mr. Hardcore. Mr. King of the Death Match." Phil mumbled.

"He's not Cincinnati anymore. Hell, he's not even the guy he was in New York." I said.

"How do you know he has changed? What makes you so sure he won't revert back to his old ways?'

"That's not him, Phil." I told him.

"He ran from you before." Phil pointed out.

"Which I have regretted every day." Jon's voice rang out clear from behind.

Jon came up beside me, sliding an arm around my waist.

"I know you are concerned for Jessie. I can get why. You wanted to know how she knows I've changed?" Phil quickly nodded. "Jessie changed me. I'm not the same man I used to be. She's made me a better man. I don't deserve her. I know that."

"Jon..."

"It's true, Jessie. There's no way I do. But you love me. And I vowed when I let you go that if I was ever lucky enough to hold you in my arms again, I would do anything I could to keep you."

The look in his eyes, the tenor in his voice took my breath away. He pressed his forehead against mine and I temporarily closed my eyes.

"This transition is a huge step forward in our lives." Jon said, turning back towards Phil. "I won't do anything to hurt Jessie or the girls. We will do all we can to make sure you are still a constant in their lives."

Jon extended his hand which Phil shook after a moment.

"You two are lucky to have each other." Phil conceded.

"Are you okay with this?" I asked.

"It's a big change, and you know how I hate change. But I want you to be happy, Jess. Let's go tell the girls."

The three of us sat the girls down and broke the news. Shannon looked skeptical at first. Amy, however, started jumping up and down on the couch.

"Is this a trick?" Shannon asked.

"Is what a trick?" I asked.

"The three of you being united in this. I would've thought Dad would be mad."

"I'll still get to spend time with you. We will still get our dates in." Phil told her.

"So you're okay?" Shannon asked.

"Yeah." Phil looked over and me and grinned. "Yeah, I'm okay with this."

"It's okay to get excited?" Shannon asked.

"Yes, sweetheart." Phil said.

Shannon jumped up and threw her arms around Phil's neck. I chuckled under my breath, shaking my head.

"Hey, we're the ones taking you to Florida." I told her.

Either she didn't hear me or chose to ignore. She kissed Phil on his cheek, her smile reaching her ears.

"Thanks for being cool, Daddy." She said.

She hadn't called him Daddy in over a month, since Amy's birthday. Phil beamed with pride, hugging her tightly.

"Of course, sweetheart. I love you."

"I love you too, Daddy."

Shannon finally ran over to me, jumping up on my lap. Amy crawled up Jon's leg, nestling close to him.

"I love my family." Shannon said, resting her head on my chest.

I met Jon's eyes as I worked hard on not tearing up. His face matched my feelings, completely washed in love.

We closed on the house in Florida and immediately put my house up on the market. John gave me his contractor so I could begin renovations before we would make the move. My timetable to be down in Florida would be after Summer Slam.


	28. Chapter 28

Shannon's birthday was quickly approaching. To avoid another fiasco like we had with Amy's birthday, I went ahead and hired the party planner from Amy's party, Tiffany. Stephanie McMahon and I met up to create the perfect joint party for our three girls.

Amy wanted Disney princesses. Shannon and Aurora, however, had something completely different in mind.

"I wanna be a cowgirl!" Shannon happily exclaimed.

"A cowgirl?" I quizzed. This was certainly new.

"Yes, we want to be cowgirls." Aurora told us.

Stephanie's second daughter, Murphy, nodded in agreement. Stephanie and I looked at each other for a moment before shrugging.

"If that's what you want." Stephanie agreed.

"Tiffany, can you pull this off?" I asked.

"Count on me." She confidently said.

I had just closed on the deal to sell the house in Chicago, but we were still a month away from moving in the new house. After going over several options, we decided to have the birthday in Connecticut and fly Shannon's friends in. Now that it had been settled, the only thing we could do was hand the planning over to Tiffany's capable hands.

"I hate relinquishing control." Stephanie bitterly said. "How did I let you talk me into it?"

"Because you love me." I grinned.

Stephanie smiled slightly but shook her head. "Try again."

"Because Amy's was a smashing success, better than either of us could have done ourselves. We're too busy to pull this off."

"Yeah." Stephanie breathed out deeply. "That's it." She looked at me meaningfully for a moment before continuing. "So tell me about things."

"Going great. We closed in Flordia and the house is undergoing my renovations. Everything is on schedule. My sister Sarah has decided to move in since her divorce has been officially finalized."

"You sound happy."

"I am." I said.

"Any baby talk?" A smile threatening to tug at the corner of her mouth.

"Very little." I admitted.

I didn't feel up to going into further detail with Stephanie. The fact is, Jon and I had talked about it, but decided that we wouldn't be trying any time soon. With as much around us changing, I don't think Jon could handle the idea of a baby in the mix right now.

"How's Punk been with all the happenings?" She asked, thankfully changing the subject.

"Great, actually. The girls have been staying with him since we sold the house. Jon and I have been finishing out the lease in his old place in Las Vegas."

"He still had it?" Stephanie asked in surprise.

"I told him to hang on to it, just in case. When he moved in, it was a bit of an adjustment which had me fearful."

Now I was glad he still had it. As much as I missed my daugthers, time to ourselves had been wonderful too.

Any further doubts I had about Tiffany's skills was immediately put to rest when we showed up at the party site. She had turned an ordinary public park into a dude ranch. Shannon, Aurora, and Murphy were dressed in similiar outfits, just the shirts were different colors. Each of them had a cowboy had with a large pin stuck in it, declaring them the birthday girls.

Horses and ponies of various sizes were there for the girls to ride. Tiffany had tons of different games set up, including showing them how to make and use a lasso.

"Now, Moxley isn't going to show me up again and buy Shannon a horse, is he?" Phil joked as he came upon me and Stephanie.

I laughed warmly, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"If he does, I'll kill him." I vowed.

"Deal." Phil grinned.

The children were having a fantastic time. The adults had gathered under a gazebo, drinking and having a good time.

I love the life I lead.

Jon had kept his word and gave Shannon a relatively low key gift: tickets to a renaissance festival that she had wanted to go to as well as laser tag tournament for the two of them.

"It's kinda become our thing. Just the two of us." Jon explained.

I watched Phil's ears turn pink as she excitedly jumped into Jon's arms, but quickly relaxed when she reacted similarly to his gift: horseback riding lessons.

Jon and I walked alone away from the festivities, enjoying the warm summer breeze. He pulled me to a stop next to a tall oak tree, taking me into his arms and kissing me passionately.

We were both so overcome that if it wasn't for the distant laughter of children playing, we would have lost our heads. His eyes were glazed over when we broke apart.

"What did I do to deserve that?" I inquired.

"I just love you." Jon said stroking my cheek. "I had no intention on doing this today. I wanted to wait until after we got settled in to the new house, but-" He said, dropping down to one knee, pulling out a little black box from his pocket. "I bought this today and I have a question to ask you."

I gasped, covering my hand over my mouth. "Jon..."

"Please say you'll marry me." His blue eyes burning with intensity.

"Of course I will!" I exclaimed, giving him my hand to slip the ring on.

He threw his arms around me, swinging me wildly. Our celebrations didn't go unnoticed by the rest of the party.

"What's going on, you two?" Seth called over to us.

"Nothing!" Jon shouted back. "I'm just hanging out with my future wife!"

Everyone paused for a second to hear his words, before the loud eruption of cheers and applause broke out. Shannon and Amy rushed towards us and we met them in the middle, swinging them up and hugging.

"You're marrying our momma?" Amy asked Jon.

He rubbed his nose against hers, making her giggle. "I am."

"I'm getting a second dad." Shannon said, bouncing so much that I barely was able to hold her in my arms. "This is awesome. Best birthday ever." Shannon proclaimed.

I didn't need to look over to see the hardened expression etched on Phil's face.


	29. Chapter 29

John took us out to dinner later that night to celebrate. Several of our friends joined us.

"Let's start this off right." John happily said, ordering two bottles of champagne immediately.

Shannon and Amy cheered as the corks went flying through the air. Seth caught one, displaying it proudly.

"Good catch, Uncle Seth." Amy told him.

Stephanie and Hunter brought their three girls as well. The five children sat at the end of the long table, chatting amongst themselves. I laughed when Phil covered his glass with his hand when the waiter went to pour him some champagne, opting instead for a glass of water.

"A toast!" John said after we all had a glass in front of us. "It's always a blessing to see two people so in love. This is a crazy world we live in. Jessie, I know how long you've waited for him. Take good care of her, Jon, or you'll have me to answer to. Congratulations on finding each other. To Jessie and Jon!"

"Jessie and Jon!" Our friends exclaimed in unison, clinking the glasses together.

I looked over at my sister Sarah and tapped on her glass to get her attention from Seth. "Will you be my maid of honor?"

"Of course." Sarah's blue eyes lit up. "I would love that."

We all happily ate and drank, except for Phil who was acting pleasantly enough but was still oddly quiet. I tried my best to ignore the gnawing in the pit of my stomach and pushed it away. I wasn't going to let him bring me down. Not on this night.

I had been too engrossed listening to Roman as he was telling a very animated story to notice that Phil had excused himself from the table. I caught Sarah rolling her eyes at the empty place on the table. She had been Phil's biggest supporter and even she was growing tired of his antics.

"Let me go talk to him." I muttered to Jon.

"Let him be." Jon said, grabbing my hand. "Don't let him ruin this night for us."

"It'll only take a minute." I assured him.

He reluctantly let go of my hand. I head away from the table, hearing a pair of heavy boots following behind.

"He's not going to hurt me, if you're worried." I said over my shoulder.

"That's not what I'm worried about." Seth told me, walking faster to meet my pace.

"Jon sent you after me?" I raised an eyebrow.

"No, just gauging the mood." Seth's usually warm tone was flat.

Seth was always a good barometer for moods. If he was worried enough to follow me outside, maybe I should've listened to Jon.

That thought did occur to me as I swung through the front door. But that thought reached me too late. As soon as I stepped outside, Phil's brown eyes locked on me.

"What?" He asked.

His tone wasn't rough or even harsh. What surprised me was how casual it was, as if I was inquiring about the weather.

I sat next to him on the bench outside. Seth took up residence against one of the stone pillars.

"What's up with you?" I asked.

"You have to ask?" Phil asked.

"I thought you and I were in a good place." I told him.

"We were. We are." Phil said, stroking his chin.

"You aren't making much sense." I said.

Phil looked over at Seth, his expression unreadable.

"Do you have to be here for this?" He asked.

Seth's piercing eyes never left Phil's but he didn't say anything. After an intense minute or so, Phil finally looked back over at me.

"I know. I am happy for you. Really I am." He assured me.

"You aren't acting like it." I told him.

"Over ten years." Phil said, reaching over and grabbing my hand. "I'm not one that typically lives in the past."

"I know that, Phil. We just have a lot of history."

"A LOT of history." Phil added emphasis. "You still a believer?"

"Always." I said, covering my free hand with his. "Everything happens for a reason."

"I wish I believed. I wish I had blind faith like you."

"Blind faith?" I raised an eyebrow.

"You know what I mean. There is no evidence that you're right."

"Why are you so afraid?"

Phil chuckled. "There you go, talking me off the ledge again."

"That's just one of the things I do." I grinned.

"You're right, you know. When you said our relationship is like a warm blanket. It's familiar and comforting. It's always been there."

"And it's always been something for you to fall back on." I commented.

"Yeah. I always wasn't fair to you, was I?"

"No." I shook my head. "You weren't."

"Ah, damn it, Jessie. You do deserve so much better than what I gave you."

"So is this why you're upset? Shoulda, woulda, coulda?"

"I should have been better to you. I feel like if things had been different, tonight would have been about us."

"No, Phil." I corrected. "We wouldn't have gotten here."

Suddenly, Phil's head fell back and he roared with laughter. I looked over at Seth, who had the same unfathomable expression on his face that I did.

"Have you lost your mind?" Seth asked.

"Once again, he just had to one up me at my daughter's birthday party." Phil said after his laughter died down.

I elbowed him hard in the chest, sending him backwards from the bench. He rolled twice before sitting up on the grass.

"You're such a jerk." I told him.

"Lovable jerk." Phil corrected.

"Debatable." I smirked. "So you going to continue to be stuck in the past?"

"No." Phil told me. "I have been done. Just tonight hit a bit closer to home that I had been expecting."

"You were expecting Jon to propose?"

"You didn't?" Phil looked at me in mock surprise.

Phil rolled forward and sat back on the bench next to me. He cupped his hand behind my ear, smiling warmly at me.

"Seriously though, I'm happy for you." Phil said, leaning in.

"What the hell, man?" Seth sharply asked.

Phil blinked a few times before pulling away. "I'm sorry. Jessie, you have to know..."

"It's alright." I dismissed him with a simple wave. "You got caught up. Seth is guilty of that too." I said.

Seth didn't look convinced. My friend stood next to me with his arms crossed defensively over his chest, glaring hard at Phil.

"Let's go back inside." I suggested.

"Jessie, I honestly didn't mean-" Phil tried to apologize again.

"Don't worry about it. But try another stunt like that again..."

"I swear, I won't. I'm under control." Phil promised.

"See that it doesn't." I told him.


	30. Chapter 30

I was grateful when we got word that the renovations were complete on the house. It didn't take me that long to realize why Jon had grown tired of the desert. We flew to Tampa to check out the work that had been done, finally signing off on it.

"Babe." I said in awe as I walked around the empty space that would soon be our living room. "This is ours."

"Yeah, it really is. You ready for this?"

"Absolutely." I said, reaching for him.

In that moment, I didn't care that there wasn't a piece of furniture in the place. I just wanted him. As soon as the last contractor left, I launched myself at Jon. We got lost in each other for hours, christening several rooms before finally making it to out soon-to-be bedroom.

The afternoon sun streaked through the window, lighting up the room. We laid cuddled on the floor, still wrapped up in each other's arms.

"Do you have any idea where we left our clothes?" Jon asked once our breathing returned to normal.

"I think in the living room or the kitchen." I said.

"Those are good counter tops." Jon joked, brushing his lips against my temple.

I couldn't help my blush. I buried my head into his chest, causing him to chuckle.

"So bashful. It's adorable."

"We should get dressed." I stirred slightly.

"Pretty content right here." Jon pulled me close to him again.

"Me too, but remember we're having lunch with Nikki and John." I said.

Jon groaned, extending his arms out to let me up. I stretched and rolled away, kipping up to my feet. Jon laughed as I head towards the door.

I froze with my hand on the doorknob.

"What's wrong?" Jon asked.

"I think they are downstairs." I said.

"Who?"

"John and Nikki." I said.

"Really? What time is it?"

"No clue."

I stuck my head out of the door and listened intently. Sure enough, I could hear Nikki's chatter. I hit my head against the door as the couple downstairs went room to room.

"How are we supposed to get our clothes?" I asked Jon.

"Hello?" Nikki called up the stairs.

"Think you can do us a favor?" Jon asked over my shoulder.

"Bring up your clothes?" John asked.

"Yes, please." I sheepishly said.

"I really should make you do the walk of shame down the stairs." John responded.

"John!" Nikki admonished.

"Relax, I have no plans on seeing either of them more naked than usual." John teased.

A few moments later, I heard Nikki's light footsteps on the stairs. I was bright red when Nikki handed me our clothes.

"Thanks."

"I've been there too." She said, giving us a wink.

I tossed Jon his pants, scrambling to get dressed myself. We came down the stairs a few minutes later, John's blue eyes shining with the jokes he has yet to make.

"Sorry if we came at a bad time. Did you?"

Nikki and I both playfully chopped him in the chest.

"Knock that off." I tried to scold him.

"I'm just saying, it was awfully quiet for two adults in an empty house."

"Shut up, Cena." I said.

"Come on, Jess. This is funny." John playfully said.

"My definition of fun must differ then." I said.

John took us to one of his favorite places in town and we sat in a booth in the back, giving us a margin of privacy.

"I had a second reason for lunch today." John said after we got our food.

"Everything alright?" I asked.

"Not really." John shook his head.

Nikki looked automatically alarmed. "What is it?"

"No one knows this yet except those in the office that need to know and my doctor. And since this concerns Jessie too, I wanted to tell you before anyone else did."

"John, what's going on?" Now I was alarmed.

John showed us his elbow, that had a mass the size of a golf ball. I had talked him about it a few weeks ago, telling him he needed to go to a doctor.

"You're going to need surgery, aren't you?" I asked.

"Torn tricep." John nodded. "I'm going to be out for a while."

"Oh, John." Nikki rubbed his arm affectionately.

"I'm sorry, bro." I said, frowning. "Can I ask what this means for Summer Slam without sounding like a jerk?"

"Of course." John said with a small grin. "I'm still working the match with Bryan. You'll still be ringside with me, Jess. After that, I guess it's just you and Punk unless you start wrestling regularly again."

"Is it a good idea to wrestle?" Nikki asked.

"No." I answered before John could. "But he's going to do it anyway. He's Company-Man." I puffed my chest out and squared my shoulders back.

Jon laughed at my pose. "I thought he was Superman?"

"He hates to wear tights." I commented. "Hence the jorts."

"Very funny." John tried to keep from laughing.

"Yep." I grinned.

"Alright, enough with the jokes." John stated.

"For now." I commented.

"Jess." John stated in his business tone. "No one knows, alright? I'm going to make the announcement on Raw after Summer Slam."

"If you think that's best." I said.

"Is the match really worth risking further injury?" Jon asked.

"This match could make Bryan. Nothing is going to keep me from it." John said.

I had always admired John's work ethic and his willingness to sacrifice for wrestling. He may not be the best wrestler in the company, but no one could deny that he put his heart and soul into the company.

"I'm going to be there when you have surgery." I told him.

"Jess, you don't have to." John said.

"Nonsense. I've always been there through your surgeries. You're my brother. I'm there."

"Thanks." John gave me a grateful smile. "Alright, now that's over, let's enjoy our lunch."


	31. Chapter 31

As much as I love Summer Slam, this year I was happy that my involvement would be low-key. Phil would be wrestling Brock Lesnar in a street fight and John would be wrestling Bryan. Both matches were great and something they should be proud of.

I stood next to John in the center of the ring as he explained to the WWE Universe and the locker room the details of his surgery. The next day, Nikki and I accompanied him as he went through surgery.

"I'm really nervous." She rocked back and forth slightly in her chair as we watched John go to sleep through the glass in the operating room.

"He's tough. He'll be okay." I assured her.

"What if something happens and..."

"Nik, it'll be okay. This isn't his first time going under the knife. Not even the first for this type of injury." I said.

"You aren't worried?"

"About Superman?" I smirked. "Just think how much fun it will be to play nurse for him."

That made Nikki's eyes light up. "I hadn't thought of that."

I gave her a wink and turned my attention back to the surgery. Nikki watched in disgust but blood never bothered me.

However when they pulled the curtain so we couldn't see in, then I got nervous.

"What's going on?" I bolted upright in my chair.

"Jessie, tell me he's okay."

The plead in her voice stilled me. She needed to hear me say the words, so I'd better be convincing.

"Of course he's okay. They are probably getting to the really gross part and wanted to save us from it." I said.

Nikki looked thoughtfully at me for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, yeah I'm sure you're right."

I knew I had to distract her, so I started telling her about some of the house plans. Thankfully, it worked. By the time she relaxed, the nurse pulled the curtain away and the doctor gave us a thumbs up.

"See, told you." I grinned. "Nothing to be worried about."

I stayed with John as Nikki had to take off due to her and Brie filming a guest appearance on a TV show. Eventually, his brother came to relieve me.

The moving truck had pulled up a few minutes before I had and the movers had just started to unload. We were able to set the house up in record time and even had our first home cooked dinner in our first night. At first, the girls were excited to have their own rooms. That's all I heard for the last hour before their bedtime.

Sarah and I watched as Shannon and Amy ran upstairs to brush their teeth.

"Care to place your bets?" Sarah asked me with a sly smile.

"Not a chance. It won't last the night." I said.

"What?" Jon asked, looking back and forth between us.

"See how long they stay separated." Sarah said.

"We didn't growing up. Used to drive Mom and Dad crazy." I said.

"Oh yeah. We used to take turns sneaking in the bed at night. Mom and Dad would wake up to see me and Leslie cuddled up in my bed and Jessie and Anna in a different one."

"One time all four of us snuggled up together in my bed." I said.

"Christmas Eve." Sarah said with a laugh. "I remember that."

"Must be nice." Jon sadly said.

Jon didn't talk much about his family or his childhood. He had it difficult, and said that he would rather not poke at the scars. I leaned over and kissed his cheek, running my hand across his chest.

"I'm sorry, babe."

"Not your fault." Jon said, running a hand through my hair.

"Mommy!" Amy's voice called down the stairs.

I don't know how my children managed, but there was a foot of water all over the bathroom floor. I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrow. Both of them looked down at their feet.

"Pjs, now." I ordered.

Jon helped me mop up the water and we brushed their hair. I couldn't stop smiling. This was our first night of countless nights. To say I was happy would be an understatement.

Jon scooped up Amy and took her to her room. Shannon crawled under her covers and I kissed her forehead.

"Night, my angel. I love you."

"Love you too, Momma."

She was already drifting off when I softly shut the door.

Jon was beaming when he quietly shut Amy's door.

"Apparently, I'm Pop now." Jon told me.

"Pop?" I inquired.

"That's what Amy just called me."

"Are you okay with that?"

"Absolutely." Jon's grin could light up the dark hallway.

A few hours later, I went upstairs to check on Shannon and Amy. Sure enough, Amy had crawled into bed with Shannon. I softly called Jon to look in on them. As we leaned against the door frame, I rested my head against his shoulder. Jon kissed my forehead then we slowly backed out.

We had a long discussion that night before finally turning in ourselves, making plans for the future. We decided to have the wedding in the spring and after Wrestlemania 30, try to have a baby. Neither of us were in a rush. Honestly I worried that everything was too much for Jon, but he never complained. He always remained steadfast in us and my girls.

It was such a drastic change from Phil, it was unbelievable. I kept waiting for the shoe to drop, to bring a drastic change on us.

And unlike with Phil, it never did.


	32. Chapter 32

"So, I feel like I'm out of the loop now. Fill me in." John encouraged.

Nikki was gone with Brie so I stayed with John for a few hours. He had some rules set by the surgeon that he had trouble keeping.

"He's like a puppy wanting to lick his stitches." I laughed into the camera during my interview segment.

John and I were laying in bed, watching his TV. He grumbled about having to keep his arm to his side and that seemed to be the only way to listen.

"Nikki hadn't been chatting your ear off? Everything okay?"

"Very funny." John said, passing me a bowl of chips.

"You did your job well. Bryan has been taking over your media appearances. Brie has been feeling neglected."

"I tried to tell him. Being the top guy comes with its downsides." John said.

"I know."

"Jess, I know you know. It's just hard to prepare for it when your life completely changes."

"Yeah? Tell me about it." I encouraged.

John shrugged, flipping mindlessly through the channels.

"He is beside himself." I explained to the cameras. "John has been the one on the road constantly, barely home, living out of his suitcase more than anyone. This hasn't been an easy adjustment for him either."

"Right now, I'll be happy to bend my arm." He told me.

"Somehow, I just knew I would find you in bed with Cena one day." Jon teased, suddenly appearing in the doorway.

"I've got to go." I leaned over and kissed John's cheek. "You going to be okay?"

"Yes." John nodded. "Go. Do work."

I had already told both John and Bryan that I would talk to Brie. I seemed to be the best person for the job.

We flew to Raw and I met up with the rest of the divas for lunch.

"Hey, ladies." I greeted, sitting down next to JoJo.

"Did you get settled into the new house?" Nattie asked.

"Yeah, the move went great."

"You are so lucky, Jess. I hope to make enough money in this business to buy a home too big for my needs." Eva Marie said, tossing her fake red hair over her shoulder.

I cut my eyes towards her but chose not to retort.

"How's it going, Brie?" I asked.

She sighed and stabbed her salad with her fork. "It's okay."

"Uh oh." Ariane said.

"Yeah, girl. Out with it." Trinity encouraged.

"I just miss Bryan." Brie said. "He's been gone ten days straight. We're on the same show and I barely see him."

"I know what you mean." Nikki said. "But it's what he's always wanted."

"I know I should be happy for him, but I just..."

"Trust me, I've been there." I said.

"Been there, yeah. But not lately." Eva interrupted. "It's not like Ambrose has been doing a ton of media."

"I'll have you know that Jon has been doing more than his fair share of media." I snapped. "And I've been there with John Cena's and CM Punk for most of theirs."

Eva rolled her eyes but declined saying anything else.

"Have I mentioned lately that I don't like her?" I sourly asked into the camera later.

"I know." Brie sighed.

"Hey, listen." I gently said, reaching out and touching her hand. "I know it's hard right now, but remember this is something that he's been dreaming about for over ten years. He may not be around much now, but he will be around much more in the future."

That seemed to lighten her up. "You think so?"

"I do." I nodded.

Several days later, I got an angry phone call from Nikki.

"Your friend is an ass." She said then hung up.

I looked over at Trinity, who was in a spa with me getting mani-pedis and sighed.

"What did you do now?" I asked as soon as John answered his cell.

"Remember when I told you that I was thinking about asking Nikki to move in?"

"Yeah, and you had that ridiculous idea about the living agreement." I scoffed.

John fell silent. Trinity cracked a smile when I outwardly groaned.

"John, you didn't."

"I should have listened, Jess."

"You're right, you should've!"

"Can you talk to her?"

"What am I, everyone's counselor?"

"Yes."

"Why do you put me in the middle of this?"

"Because you love me and want me happy."

"You're adopted, I don't have to love you."

"Jess, please. She's not answering my calls. I'm really hurting here."

"You owe me big." I told him.

"Bigger than big." John agreed.

"At this point, I'm putting him in a bridesmaids dress." I sourly said during my interview.

My first few calls to Nikki went unanswered. Finally she picked up.

"If John sent you..."

"You know he did, but that's not why I'm calling." I quickly told her. "How are you?"

The simple question unleashed a tirade that isn't suitable for network TV. Eventually I calmed her down to talk.

"This isn't an indictment on you or your relationship." I told her.

"No, you didn't see the paper." She fired back.

"I know, John told me. And believe me, I think he's an idiot." I sided with her. "Nik, he loves you. He's just overwhelmed with that what means."

"You mean because of his ex-wife."

"A lot of it stems from that. That, and he's crazy. This is a safety net for him. Eventually he won't need one but right now, what he knows is that he was burned in the past and doesn't think he could make it if something happened between you two."

There was a brief pause before the warmth returned in her voice. "Really?"

"You have more power over him than you realize. Use it wisely."


	33. Chapter 33

"You must be relieved." The camera guy, Caleb, commented.

Today was the last day the camera crew would be following me and the other girls around. Final shooting for the first season of Total Divas and then I would be left alone for a few months.

Overall, I hadn't noticed their intrusion in our lives. Even watching the edited version of the show, I had forgotten they were there most of the time.

Today was going to be a relatively quiet off day. We were home in Tampa, enjoying the September weather now that it was slowly cooling off.

Jon and I drove to the new Performance Center for the WWE in Orlando, working out in one of the seven rings set up. Nattie got into a rift with Eva, but it just seemed really silly to me and didn't get involved.

"Can you believe that she was openly flirting with TJ in front of me?" She asked, climbing into the ring with us.

"Nat, they were just wrestling." I said, shrugging.

She glared at me as we locked up. I backed her into the ropes and let go.

"Wrestling and sex don't always go hand-in-hand." I said during my sit-down interview. "But with Nattie, she trained with TJ. That was a big attraction to her. I've wrestled and trained with guys throughout my entire career. It's not a big deal. But it is to her. And I feel like TJ should have known that, yet I still think she overreacted." I shrugged. "What do you do?"

"Didn't look like that from me." She sourly said.

I managed to not roll my eyes. The whole thing was silly to me.

I kissed Jon goodbye as he was going to have lunch with Seth and Roman. I had a doctor's appointment for my birth control.

"Ah, Miss Coleman. Pleasure to meet you. I'm Dr. Newman." My doctor introduced herself.

"Hi." I gave a pleasant smile towards her. "I trust you have received my records from Dr. Turner?"

"I received it this morning. So you get the shot every three months?"

"It's easiest with my schedule." I told her.

"You know there is a pill-"

"I'm on the road five days a week. With my schedule of media meetings, dealing with my daughters, plus training, I never remember to take my pill. The shot is the best choice. Takes fifteen seconds and don't have to worry about it for three months."

"I see." She looked a little upset that I had cut her off. "Well, you know what works best for you."

I gave her a polite smile. I went to Dr. Newman because Nikki had recommended her. Now I'm thinking I may need to re-evaluate this.

"When's the last time you had a pregnancy test?" Dr. Newman asked.

The question took me by surprise. "Uh, last time I did was when I found out about my youngest daughter. Why?"

"It's customary before administering the shot to get tested."

"I'm pretty regular with my cycle." I told her.

"Be that as that may be, I still require a test before I give the shot." She shortly told me.

"Fine." I grumbled to the cameras. "I'll pee in the stupid cup."

I had to down a gallon of water before I could give her what she needed.

'Still there?' Jon asked in a text.

'Yeah.' I told him. 'Stupid new doc wanting a test done.'

'Test?'

'Yeah. Nothing to worry about, I'm sure.'

'I hope not.'

I frowned, looking down at my phone. While waiting for the doc to come back, Caleb asked me about it.

"We bought a house together, we're getting married, and my girls call him 'Pop' now. Would it really be terrible if I got pregnant?" I questioned.

But the more I thought about it, the more nervous I became at the question. Career wise, it wouldn't be smart. Survivor Series was coming up shortly. Then we would have the Royal Rumble to look forward to, the start of Wrestlemania season. Personally, I wasn't sure we were ready for a baby. We were still a ways away from the wedding.

What if Jon freaks out and wants to back out? What if all this is too much, too soon? Being there for Shannon and Amy would be vastly different than having a child of our own. As much as I wanted another baby, the idea of Jon leaving me scares me.

No, Jon wouldn't leave me. It's just my fear creeping up...right?

"Alright, Ms. Coleman." Dr. Newman said, entering the room and breaking into my thoughts.

"So, we're going to administer the shot now?" I hopefully asked.

That thought was quickly dashed. "No, Ms. Coleman. We can't."

I swallowed hard. "Can't?"

"Ms. Coleman...Jessie, you're pregnant."


	34. Chapter 34

I sat for quietly for several minutes. Dr. Newman's words hung in the air before settling in me.

"You're sure?" I asked.

"Ran the test twice to be positive." She softly told me.

I sucked on my bottom lip and nodded. Dr. Newman reached over and grabbed my hand.

"You okay, Jessie?"

"Yeah." I nodded, but my voice shook. "I'm fine."

"Here's a hint, guys." I said later in my interview. "If a woman says that she's fine, she really isn't."

"Let's take a look." Dr. Newman encouraged, placing a hand on my shoulder and leaning me back on the examination table. I could hear the snap of her gloves as she was putting them on.

Tears filled my eyes as I placed my bare feet in the stirrups. Dr. Newman grabbed her examination wand and covered the end with a gel.

"This is going to be cold." She warned.

"I know." I flatly said.

I grimaced upon the insertion but relaxed after a moment. It took her a second, but her eyes lit up and pointed happily at the sonogram screen.

"Looks like you're about seven weeks." She said.

I couldn't look at the screen. Instead, I looked into her eyes and nodded. "Great."

"Jessie, you should be excited."

"I know. Just wish the circumstances were different."

"Well, whatever the case may be, you are going to have a baby. Look." She encouraged.

After a few more pleas, I finally looked over. Sure enough, there was this little gray spec the size of a blueberry. It was faint, but I could see its tiny heart pumping.

This time, the tears were happy ones. Dr. Newman handed me a tissue and paused the video.

I was still scared of Jon's reaction, but that was something I'll deal with shortly. In this moment, I was happy.

I scheduled another appointment with her in a few weeks. The nerves took over as I pulled into the driveway.

"Everything okay?" Jon asked when I walked in.

He was sitting on the couch, playing the Wii with Shannon and Amy. I gave them a little smile as I sat down my purse.

"Yeah."

"Just meeting new doctor?" Jon raised an eyebrow. "It took a while."

"These things do sometimes."

I tried to sound normal. I tried to sound casual. There was no fooling Jon.

"Did you get your shot?" He inquired.

"Mom needed a shot?" Amy's eyes grew huge.

I chuckled at her, brushing her brown hair behind her ear. "Nothing's wrong, sweetheart."

"Then why did you need a shot?" She asked.

"To help prevent me from getting sick." I explained as simply as I could. "But it turns out, I didn't need it."

"Didn't need it." Jon slowly said.

The Wii controller fell from his hand. His expression quickly changed. I looked away quickly, not sure what to say or do.

"Girls, let's go upstairs for a few minutes." Sarah said.

"Why?" Shannon looked over, confused.

"Go upstairs." I told them.

Shannon and Amy looked completely taken aback as they followed Sarah upstairs. Shannon paused at the bottom of the stairs, looking back sadly. I gave her an encouraging smile which she seemed to see through, but went up the stairs.

I wasn't sure what to expect when I finally looked back over at Jon. His expression was completely unreadable, which automatically frightened me.

"I thought we said we would try in May." Jon slowly said.

"I'm just as surprised as you are." I told him.

He ran his hand through his unruly hair, running his tongue over his bottom lip.

"Jon..."

"No." He snapped.

My heart crumbled when he pulled away from me. He jumped up from the couch and snatched his keys from the hanger by the door.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Out." He sharply said.

And just like that, he was gone. There was no yelling, no shouting. It was the simplest of goodbyes.

I felt like I was getting ready to shatter.

I knew he wouldn't answer his phone, but I still called him. After leaving two messages, I decided to stop. I wasn't going to beg him to stay. He was still a free man.

The house was eerily quiet. I didn't know how long Jon would be gone or if he was even going to come back. I sent Sarah a quick text, telling her I needed some air. I took a long walk to the park where we had been taking the girls to play. I sat on a swing, kicking the dirt around with the tip of my toe.

Phil's ringtone began to play. After the third time it went off, I decided to answer.

"What's going on? I get a semi-frantic phone call from Sarah."

"Phil, now's not a good time." I told him.

"Jessie, you okay? You sound numb."

"I am." I responded, although I wasn't sure to which question.

Phil went so quiet on the phone, that I had to check to make sure the call didn't disconnect.

"Can I video chat with you?" He asked.

"Not now." I told him.

He was quiet again for a moment before he seemingly put the pieces together.

"Do you remember how I reacted when you told me that you were pregnant with Shannon?"

I had to think for a few minutes before responding. "You went to Colt's for three days."

"Wouldn't answer any of your calls or texts. Threatened Colt with a beating if he said anything to you other than that I was there."

"I remember."

"I was scared to death about being a father. I knew I wanted to, but the actual confirmation that we were going to have a baby was frightening."

"I was scared too."

"Jon's going through what I did back then. Maybe I should call him."

"We talked about this, Phil. We both said we wanted another baby. And he's so good with Shannon and Amy."

"It's different when reality is looking you in the face." Phil told me.

"Do you think he'll be okay with this?"

"Jessie, I'm positive."

"He'll come back."

"Of course he will. That man loves you, Jessie. More than anyone I've ever seen. Just give him some time."

"So this time, you're the one talking me off of the ledge." I said with a slight smile.

"It's what we do, isn't it?"

"Thanks."

After I got off the phone with Phil, I walked back home. Jon's car still wasn't in the garage. I elected to sit on the porch swing rather than going inside the house. I knew the girls would have questions I wasn't ready to answer.

The more I thought about it, the madder I got. He was making this about him. And here I am sitting wondering about his feelings when I didn't stop to think about how this effects my family. Granted, we weren't expecting me to get pregnant this soon, but the fact is that I am. So he would just have to deal with that or I didn't want him around.

Maybe he wasn't the man I took him for. Maybe we were better off without him.

My phone started to buzz in my pocket again. I glared down at my display when I saw a text from Phil.

'Don't let your hormones override your good sense. Take a deep breath and relax.'

I wanted to throw my phone against the wall. Hormones. That's every guy's go-to answer, isn't it?

"Ever feel like you're in a glass room and all you want to do is scream, but you worry the glass might break?" I asked during my interview. "That's me right now."

I went inside and spent time with my girls. They naturally had questions to which I gave them the best answers I could without telling them what was going on. I wasn't ready to tell them about the baby, not until I finally had it out with Jon.

The hours ticked by without a word from him. I watched the sun set and there was still no sign. My anger still simmered under the surface after I put the girls to bed and cleaned up the kitchen. I paced in the living room, my anger growing by the minute.

"You're going to blow your top. Calm down." Sarah told me.

"Thanks for that." I flatly said.

"I'm going to bed. You should do the same." She told me.

"Night."

Finally, I heard the tell-tale of his engine pulling up the drive. I stood in the center of our living room, glaring towards the door. When it swung open, I could smell the stench of beer and cigarettes whiffing off of him.

"What the hell-" I started, ready to unleash a tirade.

Jon crossed the room in two strides, immediately taking me into his arms and kissing me.

The anger quickly dissipated as his kiss grew more and more passionate. When he finally broke the kiss, I was puddy in his hands. He pressed his forehead in mine, his hands framing the sides of my face. After a few seconds, he kissed me again. This time, he scooped me up and carried me upstairs, all the while not breaking his mouth on mine.

We always talked best without saying a word.


	35. Chapter 35

We spent the rest of the night in bed together. About the third time, I got so lost in our intensity that it was hard to be quiet. I was sure we woke the girls up but thankfully no one came to our door. I finally dozed off around 5am, feeling exhausted and sedated in Jon's arms.

I cursed loudly when my alarm went off a few hours later. It's back to work for us. Mentally calculating how much time I had before we had to leave to catch our flight when I clicked off the alarm. I rolled over but the other side of the bed was cold.

"Jon?" I sat up alarmed.

I quickly scanned the room, but his bag was already gone.

"Mommy!" Amy burst through the bedroom door and jumped on the bed.

Shannon slowly filed in behind her, yawning loudly.

"Morning, girls." I greeted.

Amy snuggled against me as Shannon plopped down on the bed.

"Have you seen Jon?" I questioned.

"Pops? No, last I heard, he was with you." Shannon groggily told me.

That's odd. Jon rarely got out of bed before me. I looked over to the bedside to see a tulip sitting in a glass of water. I gently stroked the delicate petals, slightly blushing.

I hurried the girls down the stairs to give breakfast, expecting to see Jon having a cigarette or a cup of coffee, but he wasn't there. Calls to his cell went automatically to voicemail. I stepped outside to get the paper and noticed his car was gone.

"Did you see Jon this morning?" I asked Sarah.

"Jon? I thought you guys made up last night." She questioned.

"Yeah, I thought we did, too." I frowned.

"Don't worry, Mommy. I'm sure he just wants to surprise you with something." Shannon said.

I kissed my eldest daughter on the forehead, encouraging her to eat her biscuits.

Worry was setting in quickly. I checked my purse to find out that his plane ticket was already gone. I texted Seth to see if he had heard from Jon, but he hadn't either.

The thought hit me so hard that I had to grip the table to keep from falling over. Maybe last night wasn't us making up and moving forward. Maybe last night was Jon saying goodbye.

No, no that couldn't be right. There had to be another logical explanation. Just had to be another reason.

I boarded the plane two hours later, but Jon never filled the seat next to me. Before the attendants closed the plane doors, a tall man with short black hair did take Jon's seat.

"I'm sorry, but this can't be yours." I told him.

"No, I'm pretty sure it is." The guy said, showing me his ticket.

"Apparently he just bought the ticket." I explained in my interview. "Someone returned theirs for an earlier flight, so a seat was available."

This news it me like a sucker punch. I remained quiet throughout the flight, pointedly ignoring the guy's attempt at conversation with me.

As soon as the plane landed, I hailed a cab and went to the arena for Raw. I found the production assistant needed to check in, asking if Jon had already.

"Good..Good...Good...Ah, nope, sorry. Hasn't checked in yet."

So he got an earlier flight but hasn't made it to the arena yet. What the hell is going on?

"You look like hell." Nikki noted when I rolled my bag into the locker room.

"Thanks." I dryly said.

"Girl, what's wrong?" Ariane asked, putting an arm around my shoulders.

"Got about three hours of sleep." I told her which wasn't a lie.

"Jon keep you up?" Brie teasingly asked.

I gave her a weak smile before leaning back against the wooden lockers.

I kept texting Jon, but never got a response. Raw went on the air and I watched on the monitors as all three members of the Shield made their way through the crowd.

He was in the building and couldn't respond to my messages. Sneaking out like that, avoiding me...I guess last night was goodbye after all.


	36. Chapter 36

"What's wrong with you? Cheer up." Phil sat down next to me and nudged my shoulder.

I couldn't have been more thankful that there wasn't a camera filming me breaking down. I just couldn't be happy right now. I couldn't celebrate my news. I should be thrilled right now, but the very reason I should be is the reason I'm not.

I guess Jon isn't the man I thought he was. Coward sneaking off like that. I couldn't even be angry right now. It was all too painful. I couldn't bear it. All I wanted to do was shut down, but Phil wasn't letting me.

"No, none of that. You ought to know better, Jessie." Phil told me.

"Better than what?" I dryly asked.

I had been sitting on the floor in the locker room, long after the other girls had cleared out. After I failed to speak multiple times to any of them, Brie got Phil to check in on me. For a while, he sat down next to me without saying anything. Upon my flat comment, he positioned his body so that he was sitting in front of me. Phil grabbed my chin to force me to look him in the eyes.

"Where did you go?" He asked.

I smacked his hand away, glaring at him hard.

"No, I'm serious. As much as I hated to admit it for a long time, you two are perfect for each other. And this is a happy time. So why are you sitting on the floor, looking broken?"

I gave him a hard shove backwards. He landed on his back, but swung his legs up so he rolled backwards completely.

"Come on." Phil stood up and offered me his hand.

I ignored him, looking pointedly at the floor.

"Don't want to do it the easy way? Fine." Phil forcefully pulled me up to my feet and lifted me up. I gave a startled cry as he laid me flat across the back of his shoulders.

"If you give me a knee strike..."

"Thinking about it, but no. Come on."

I fussed and fumed as he walked out of the locker room, with me still on his back and rolling my gear bag. He continued to walk effortlessly around the backstage area until he started towards the stage area.

"Phil, what are you doing?" I demanded to know.

He dropped my bag off and went through the curtain.

"Phil, damn it, put me down!"

"This will teach you to doubt your heart or his." Phil said with a chuckle.

"What?" I tried to squirm off of his shoulders, but he held me too tightly.

The arena had been long empty from the fans. The cleaning crew had already begun their work. Due to the position that Phil had me in, I could hear people chatting but I couldn't see well. I could see the steel steps of the ring as Phil walked through the ropes with me still on his back.

"Alright, alright. Put her down." I heard Jon say, a slight chuckle in his voice.

As soon as I was on my feet, I punched Phil hard in the shoulder.

"Easy, Jess." Jon said, putting his arm around my waist and pulling me out of arms reach of Phil.

"And you." I bitterly said, elbowing him in the ribs. I spun around as air rushed out of him. I stomped on his foot as hard as I could, resisting the urge to punch his lights out. "You had me worried out of my mind."

Seth grabbed my arm gently before I could do any more bodily harm. It was only then that I realized that the ring was full of our friends.

"Jess, if you beat him up, he can't talk." Seth joked.

I crossed my arms over my chest, my lips pursed tightly together. Jon chuckled when he finally regained his composure.

"I'm sorry for sneaking off like that, but I didn't want you to know what I was doing." Jon stated.

"You have any idea-" I took another step but Seth stepped in.

"Stop." Seth gently said. "Look around you, Jess."

It hadn't registered to me everything that was around us. Purple and white balloons hung from each of the four turnbuckles, along with streamers wrapped around the ropes. Next to the ring announcer's table was a long table nearly the entire length of one of the sides of the ring covered in food and a large cake stood at the center. Nearly the entire locker room was either in the ring or around the food table.

I looked sheepishly over at Jon, who was now grinning from ear to ear.

"Surprise." Jon smirked.

"Congratulations!" Everyone exclaimed in unison.

I turned bright red as Jon took me into his arms. I buried my face into his chest, trying to recover my composure.

Jon gently stroked my cheek, tipping my chin up to meet his eyes.

"You crazy woman. I love you." Jon told me.

"You crazy man. I love you."

Everyone filed out of the squared circle to stand ringside, except for my sisters, who I didn't even know was there, as well as John, Bryan, Phil, Seth, and Roman. Shannon and Amy crawled under the bottom rope, dressed in the cutest white dresses with a purple ribbon around their waist.

"I know you better than anyone." Jon began. "And I know this isn't the way we always pictured it, and hell, we can re-do the ceremony after the baby is born, but I just didn't want to wait another night without you being my wife."

That took me by surprise. My eyes filled with tears at his words. "I don't understand."

"Marry me. Right now." Jon said.

"Now?!" I exclaimed.

Everyone at ringside laughed, making my ears turn pink.

"Right now. As I said, we can re-do everything later if you want. But let's do it."

"How? We don't have anyone who can officiate-"

"Actually." Phil stepped forward. "I can."

"What?" I practically shouted.

Phil beamed. "You have a great man there, Jess. He talked me into getting a license online so I could perform your ceremony later. I loved the idea."

"It was a surprise for later. It just got moved up a bit." Jon explained.

"You want to marry me right now." I re-stated.

"Absolutely." Jon nodded.

"Come on, Momma." Shannon smiled at me.

I'm standing in the ring wearing jeans and a tank top. Not exactly what I pictured getting married in. But Jon's right, all that is pomp and ceremony. He was still in his ring gear as well.

I grinned over at him and extended my right hand. I thought his smile was going to break his face as we moved into position.

I was still beside myself. How was it that less then thirty minutes ago, I thought it was all over. Now I'm standing in the ring next to him, surrounded by family and friends, pledging my life to his.

"Oh, I don't have rings." I said.

"Mommy." Amy tugged on my jeans, opening up her little hand to show me a gold band.

Of course he thought of everything.

"We gather together to congratulate these two and bring them together forevermore." Phil began.

I was so giggly, it was hard for me to stand still.

"It's not too late to back out." Phil stated.

"Not on your life." I responded.

"I was talking to him." Phil joked.

Jon shook his head and laughed. Phil gave a little shrug but continued on.

"If anyone sees cause why these two should not be joined, keep your mouth shut and leave the ring area immediately."

Several laughed at Phil's light teasing.

"Go ahead, bro." Phil nodded towards Jon.

"I'm really sorry for scaring you today, but I wasn't able to sleep at all. I watched you lying so peacefully in my arms and I was overwhelmed. You overwhelm me, Jess. I am always amazed and in awe of you. You love so completely, so fiercely. You love me like I never thought I deserved to be loved. I was always the street dog, the gutter trash. But you never looked at me that way. And now, we are really starting our lives together. There is nothing better than you, than us. I promise to always put you and our three children before myself. I promise to be the man that I see in your eyes. Forever."

I was crying happily at his words. Sarah had to hand me a tissue before I could speak.

"You constantly take me by surprise, which is really saying something." I grinned. "I have never met a man who loves as unconditionally as you do. You've always given me your all. You love my girls like they are yours and now, we have our own little miracle to look forward to. I promise to always give you my all. I'm sorry that for a few hours, I doubted your sincerity. It felt like an eternity and I swear to you, I'll never doubt again. I love you."

Jon took a small gold band from Amy's hot little hand and slipped it on my finger.

"Jonathan Good, do you swear to love, honor, and cherish this woman? To always put her needs ahead of your own? To be by her side, even in the darkest of days, as long as you both shall live?" Phil asked.

"I do." Jon agreed.

I took the other band from Amy and slipped it on his left hand.

"Jessie Coleman, do you swear to love, honor, and cherish this man? To always put his needs ahead of your own? To be by his side, even in the darkest of days, as long as you both shall live?" Phil asked.

"I do."

"Then I now proclaim you husband and wife. Go ahead and kiss her." Phil said.

Jon took me in his arms and dipped me. The crowd surrounding us roared and applauded until he set me up right.

"Hey guys! I've got Mr. and Mrs. Jon Good right here!" Phil proclaimed.


	37. Chapter 37

The crowd surrounding the ring cheered louder as we embraced again. Phil gave us both a big hug and Amy jumped into my arms.

"You won't be able to do that much longer." I told her.

"I know, I'm getting big." She said with a toothy grin.

"Well, that too. But that's not the only reason." I told her.

She leaned her head to the side, looking at me suspiciously. "Why?"

Jon put his arm around my waist and wrapped around her back, resting his head on my shoulder.

"We're having a baby." I told her.

Amy's little eyes grew huge at the news, squealing in delight. Several of us chuckled at her reaction.

"Can I have a baby brother?" Amy asked.

Jon chuckled, kissing her cheek. "We'll find out in a few months."

The crew had taken down the barriers ringside and the floor chairs, creating a free space. Jon led me over to the area as music started to play.

"I still can't believe you did all this." I told him.

"I'm not going to lie, it was a big undertaking. Punk and Sarah were a big help too."

I had to laugh. If someone told us last year that Phil would help marrying me off to someone else, we both would have called them a liar.

"I am really sorry." I apologized again.

"Jessie, I'm sorry too. When I found out, I didn't react well. But then I realized how much I used the word 'I' in thinking about it and it just seemed so selfish of me to be upset. Of course I want a baby with you. Who cares when it happened. And when that thought hit me, and I was afraid of losing you, of losing everything, I just couldn't take it anymore. I didn't want to wait, it just seemed silly."

"I love you so much." I said.

"I know." He flashed that grin that makes my knees weak. "I love you, too."

Dad interrupted our dance, looking completely overcome with excitment and love as we danced. I eventually danced with just about everyone there before Jon and I cut the cake.

I watched as Sarah and Seth danced together, looking lost in each other's arms. They had started dating a month ago, not long after Leigh dumped him. She just couldn't take him being on the road as much as we are. I had never seen Sarah look so happy, I quickly gave them my blessing.

Phil and AJ were dancing next to them, looking blissful as well. This year has been so topsy-turvy with us. He'll always have a special place in my heart and will always be my best friend. I'm so glad that he found someone with AJ. He's never looked at me the way he looks at her, and I'm grateful for that.

Mom and Dad went in on me like I knew they would, asking me when I thought we would have the 'real' wedding. I told them to me, this was our wedding. I didn't feel the need to re-do the ceremony. It was perfect as it was. I just think that after everything that Phil and I have ben through together, Dad wanted to have that moment of walking me down the aisle to my husband.

So that's what we did. I had borrowed a dress from Stephanie and Jon changed into a suit. Phil once again officiated us. Dad escorted me down the main aisle towards the ring, where my sisters again acted as bridesmaids. Seth, Roman, and Bryan stood next to Jon as his groomsmen. Dad kissed my cheek and placed my hand in Jon's.

WWE photographers snapped pictures of us as we re-did the vows from earlier. Phil joked later about marrying me off twice, just to make sure he was rid of me. I'm sure it wasn't the dream wedding my parents always envisioned for me, but it was perfect for us. Besides, I told them that there were three other Coleman daughters they could control their ceremony for. That seemed to make my mom happy.

We partied longer than the arena originally wanted, but no one seemed to want to leave. Jon arranged to have both sparkling grape juice as well as champagne for us during the reception. Of course he thought of everything.

We sat together on the ring apron, watching our friends, family, and crew enjoy the party.

"So, you think you're ready to be a dad?" I asked.

We both looked over at Shannon and Amy, who were dancing together and laughing.

"Jess, I'm already a dad." He reached over and gently rubbed my belly. "Just this time I get to be there from the beginning."

We rented out an entire floor of a hotel for friends and family. I went to bed that night, secured in my husband's arms, knowing my family was next door. And it would be like this every night for the rest of our lives.


	38. Chapter 38

The last episode of the first season of Total Divas aired, all about our surprise wedding and the work Jon did to pull it off. E! even added another episode to the season based on the footage they got. I didn't even know E! Network filmed it, but I wasn't surprised. A week later, Jon and I were pulled into Stephanie's office. She informed us that E! wanted to do a reality show based around us until the second season began.

"You two registered high every week with focus groups and social media." One of the Total Divas producer's, Don, explained. "Everyone wants to watch you go through your pregnancy, Jessie. So we offered to do a short season based around you two to show our audience."

I looked over at Stephanie, my mind wheeling from the news. "And you okayed this endeavor?"

"I think it's sweet how you've connected with the audience. Ratings are higher when you two are shown. It brings in a lot of advertising for the WWE. I think it's a good idea."

"I'm not on board." Jon said. "I don't like this. I'm a private person and I like to remain that way. Pulling back the curtain, exposing Jessie and our baby like that, no." Jon shook his head. "I don't want to do this."

"I certainly understand how you feel, but the decision isn't up to you." Stephanie dryly said. "You are locked in a contract that states that the WWE has control of you and the media. This counts."

"Come on, Steph." I spoke up. "You can't force this show on him."

"I'm his boss. You bet I can." She told me.

"Did you notice or mind the cameras when we were filming previously?" Don asked.

"Well, no." Jon admitted. "But the attention we got from the show-"

"You knew what you signed up for." Stephanie said.

"To be a wrestler. I'm sorry, WWE superstar." Jon snarly corrected. "Not a reality TV star."

"We'll give you until November first before shooting will begin. The show will start to air two weeks after that. Filming will go through January then you'll have another break before season two of Total Divas begins." Don told us.

"I still don't like it." Jon said.

"Agree to do this, and I'll give Jessie an extra month of paid maternity leave." Stephanie said.

I looked over at Jon, thinking about it for a moment before nodding. Finally, he reluctantly agreed.

"Not like I have much of a choice." He mumbled.

November came before we knew it. I greeted the camera man who had followed me around before, Caleb, who grinned broadly at me.

"Greetings, Mrs. Good." He said with a smile. "You're looking good. How far along?"

"Fifteen weeks." I said.

I sat down on the couch as Caleb turned on the green light on his camera.

"Hey, everyone. My name is Jessie Coleman Good but you know me better as WWE Diva Juliet." I began my introductions for the new TV show.

After breakfast, I went through my weekly routine and weighed myself.

"So I am in week fifteen of my pregnancy." I explained after my introductions. "My doctor is not the same doctor that I had with my girls and is concerned that I gain enough weight for a healthy baby. Even though I didn't gain that much with Shannon and Amy, she's still worried. Which means the moment she said that, Jon has been watching me like a hawk to make sure I gain the proper amount of weight."

I'm 5'10' and before pregnancy, I weighed 135 lbs. Relief washed over me when I looked down at the scale to see 142 lbs.

"Jon! I gained seven pounds!" I shouted from the bathroom.

"That's great!" Jon shouted from the bedroom.

"I can't tell you how relieved I've been to not had morning sickness through the first trimester." I said during my interview. "I think that worried Jon, but I didn't get sick with Shannon or Amy either. He's been so sweet and supportive. He even quit smoking."

I didn't have morning sickness, but this week heartburn started. I think Jon was a little relieved when my symptoms starting to fall in line with the pregnancy books he's been reading.

"Heartburn, teeth and gum aches, occasional headaches, and gas." I checked off my current symptoms with my fingers. "Oh, and of course, pregnancy boobs."

My baby bump was small but noticeable. I had to go up a shirt size and couldn't wear my normal jeans. Pretty soon I would need to get into my old pregnancy jeans, but for now, I'm in yoga or sweat pants.

I came out of the bathroom, looking slightly flushed. Jon's eyes sparkled as he motioned me over with one finger. He pulled up my tank top enough to expose my belly, running his nose around my belly button. My breath catches in my throat when Jon's tongue dips into my belly button before lightly nipping at my skin. My hands thrust into his hair, my head falls backwards as a soft moan escapes my lips.

"Get out." Jon roughly tells Caleb.

The door was barely closed when Jon pushed me onto the bed.

A little while later, I couldn't help but giggle during my interview when asked about it.

"Yeah, you can say things are going well." I blushed.


	39. Chapter 39

"Hey there, Momma." Ariane greeted me warmly as I joined her and Trinity for lunch the afternoon before Raw.

"Look at you, getting your pregnancy glow on." Trinity beamed.

"Thanks, ladies." I blushed slightly.

"How's it going in there?" Ariane asked.

"Everything's great. We'll find out soon if it's a boy or a girl."

"You must be excited. How's Punk dealing with it?" Trinity asked.

"Actually, surprisingly well." I stated in my interview. "I don't know why, but I was expecting a different reaction from him. He genuinely seemed happy and gave us both a big hug."

"Well, that's different." Ariane echoed my thoughts. "Good for him. He's moving on."

"He officiated our wedding, Ari." I said. "I think all that stuff is behind us."

"Then why do you have that face on?" Trinity asked.

"It's weird, but I'm used to the conflict between them. And now there's not."

"Don't get me wrong, I don't miss the tension." I told the camera crew later. "It's just that for a while, it was commonplace."

"I'm just glad for your sake that the rift is being left in the ring." Trinity told me.

That's true. Maybe that's a big piece of it. Not only has Phil let go and moved on, but anything lingering between the two could be worked out in the ring. Tonight would be a prime example of that.

"I've got to ask a question that's on everyone's minds." Renee Young questioned Phil, Bryan, and myself in a backstage segment. "Juliet, will you be able to remain in CM Punk's corner tonight, even though he's wrestling The Shield?"

"That's a good question." Phil said. "I'm not going to have to worry about you tonight, am I?"

"I'm insulted that you would even think that I would betray you." I sharply said. "Regardless of what I do away from that ring, you should know by now that I'm going to stay by your side. I don't care who you're standing across the ring from."

"Good enough for me." Phil nodded.

It was Bryan and Phil in a handicap match against all three members of The Shield. The match was going great. I played my roll managing the two of them and didn't get involved in the match. The Shield did their job and worked over the two of them when the Wyatt Family music hit.

Phil and Bryan rolled out of the ring and were standing on either side of me when the lights came back up. Rowan and Luke were standing across Jon and Seth. Roman was on the other side of the ring, arguing with Bray. The arena exploded when the two heel factions started fighting.

Once both sides separated, I slid in the ring, getting in between them.

"Stop it!" I yelled, extending protective arms out.

"Juliet! Get out of there!" I heard Phil yell from the floor next to the announce table.

For a split second, everything seemed to stop. I relaxed for a moment until Luke grabbed my hand and attempted to pull me over to their side.

Jon was there in an instant, grabbing me by the waist and pulling me back to stand with them.

"You do not touch her!" He yelled.

The simple act of grabbing me enraged The Shield. Bray stepped in while I was trying to calm Jon down, saying that they didn't need to fight each other.

"We have a common enemy." I heard Bray tell them.

My eyes grew huge as I looked over to Bryan and Phil, still on the floor.

"No, Dean, don't." I pushed back against his chest.

I reached to grab a hold of Seth, but he had already ninja rolled out of the ring. Jon scooped me up and carried me out of the ring, sitting me down on an empty seat next to JBL at the commentary table.

"Keep her safe." He roughly ordered before jumping into the fray.

I grabbed a headset, joining in the conversation.

"Juliet, are you okay?" Michael Cole asked.

"Just shaken but I'm fine." I said.

"We're witnessing a war here, ladies and gentlemen!" JBL exclaimed.

"Juliet, your husband and your best friend-" Jerry Lawler began to ask his question, but was cut off when Roman speared Bryan into the barricade ringside.

I gave a startled cry, covering my mouth.

Phil and Jon were fighting near us. I shook my head, standing up.

"I can't just sit here-" I tossed my headset down.

"No, you don't." JBL's arm automatically shot out, stopping my movement. "Sorry, Juliet."

I looked helplessly over at the announce team, pleading with my eyes.

Bryan was rolled helplessly into the ring, where Bray gave him a kiss on the forehead before delivering the Sister Abigale. The Shield gave Phil their triple powerbomb to close out the show.

As soon as we got into the back, Jon rushed over to me.

"You okay?" Worry filling his eyes as I rubbed my belly.

"I'm fine. We're okay." I assured him.

"That was nerve-wracking, Jess." Roman told me.

"I know." I swallowed hard.

"I can't do this. I can't have you out ringside when we're fighting like this." Jon told me.

"Hey, I'm okay." I told him. "I'm not going to do anything that would put our child in harms way."

"Yet you tried to leave the commentary table." Phil pointed out.

"Whose side are you on?" I asked.

"His." Phil responded. "It's hard enough fighting out there without worrying that you'll get in the cross fire."

I sighed, looking over at Seth for help. Instead, he shook his head.

"Regular matches is one thing, but when there's a ringside brawl, you shouldn't be anywhere near it." Seth told me.

"Fine." I let out a low growl. "I know when I'm outnumbered."

"Don't be mad because I worry." Jon said.

"Worry too much." I dryly said.

"Then ease my mind and stay at the table when I tell you."

What he was asking for wasn't unreasonable. It's just difficult for me when as a wrestler, I typically jump into the fray. Now I have to stand helplessly at the sidelines.

"Okay." I agreed. "I hear you. I'll listen."

"That's my girl." Jon grinned, kissing my cheek.


	40. Chapter 40

Survivor Series went well. After the confrontation between the groups, social media exploded hoping the Survivor Series match would pit the groups against each other. Instead, Bryan and Phil would wrestle Erick Rowan and Luke Harper in a tag, The Shield would tag with the Real Americans against the Usos, Big Show, Rey Mysterio, Cody Rhodes and Goldust.

I kept true to my word and stayed out of the way. I went to commentary for Phil's match and John's title match against Alberto Del Rio, even though neither match planned to have a brawl. John's match made me nervous, even though he told me countless times that he was fine and medically cleared to wrestle. I still think he rushed his rehab after surgery to return months before his original projection.

"Just because you're cleared doesn't mean you should." I warned him.

"That's momma bear talking." John said with a grin. "I'm fine."

"I just don't want to see you hurt again." I said.

"I know, and I appreciate you for the concern." John dismissively said.

"That's the problem with being pregnant." I flatly said to the cameras later. "No one listens to you because suddenly you are overrun with hormones."

The next day, we met up with Dr. Newman for the first ultrasound. Jon could barely stand it in the waiting room, pacing anxiously.

"You're going to burn a hole in the carpet." I told him, not even looking up from the magazine.

"We're going to find if it's a boy or a girl today. How can you sit still?" He asked.

I sat the magazine down, beaming over at him.

"What?" He asked.

"You're just adorable. Come here." I motioned him over.

Jon took a knee in front of me, pressing his ear to my stomach. He closed his eyes as I began to stroke his hair. After a few moments, he started to calm down, kissing my stomach through my shirt and whispering.

"Is this your first?" A pregnant woman sitting across from us asked.

"First for him." I stated.

"I wish my husband was as attentive." She sadly said. "Could I borrow him?"

I gave her a pleasant smile as I continued to stroke Jon's hair. "If only I had a dollar for every time a woman asked me that."

That made her smile. She rubbed her swollen belly, closing her eyes as she felt movement.

"Mrs. Good?" A nurse came into the waiting room.

Jon gave one final kiss before standing up, offering me his hand in the process. I glanced over at the other woman and nodded.

"Good luck!" She called back to us.

"You too."

After being weighed and the usual stats done on me, I put on the gown left by the nurse and Jon helped me up to the table as we waited on Dr. Newman.

"Ah, Jon." Dr. Newman greeted when she came into the exam room. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Thanks, Doc. Now let's fire up this machine and get going!" Jon encouraged.

Dr. Newman laughed. "You are an eager one. We will get to that." She turned over to me and laid me back. "How is Momma feeling?" She asked as she pulled up the paper gown and massaged around my stomach.

"Pretty good."

"No sickness, trouble sleeping, or headaches?"

"A few headaches but that's it." I told her.

"Very good."

"And she's on her weight target." Jon offered.

"I see that. Good for you." She said. "Your blood pressure is good, everything looks normal. Let's see what we're working with."

The ultrasound technician wheeled in the machine. Jon rubbed my shoulders excitedly as the cold gel spread across my stomach.

We both gasped when the picture came up on the screen. The baby was the size of an orange, but we could clearly see tiny ears sticking out from the side of the head.

The baby moved and stretched out, seemingly yawning. I caught Jon tearing up as we saw the tiny hand open and close.

"Everything looks good, Jessie. Right on target for weight and size."

I barely heard the news. I was completely mesmerized.

"Can you feel the baby move?" Jon asked.

"Not yet, but will soon." I assured him.

"Ready to know the big news?" Dr. Newman asked with a grin.

"Come on, Doc." Jon said in a rush.

"You already have two girls, right?" Dr. Newman asked.

"Yeah, a seven and a five-year-old." I said.

"They want another sister or a baby brother?" Dr. Newman asked.

"Doc, you're killing me." Jon moaned.

I chuckled. "Shannon wants another sister. Amy wants a brother."

"Doc!" Jon exclaimed.

"Well, it looks like Amy will be thrilled." Dr. Newman stated.

My eyes swelled up with tears. A boy. I'm having a little boy.

It took Jon an extra second for the words to register. He bounced away from the table, jumping up and down a few times and hollering in delight.

"You aren't kidding, are you, Doc?" Jon asked.

Dr. Newman paused the video and took the time to show him on the sonar screen. Jon kiss took my breath away before he hopped away again.

"Think he wanted a boy?" I asked her.

To be fair, I knew Jon would have had the same reaction if we were having another girl. He was just excited to know.

The only other person we told prior to Raw going live was Sarah, who had a very similar reaction that Jon had. Sarah left to get everything together for the announcement party, which we had in the back as soon as Raw went off the air.

My sister is ingenious. She got a big box with she decorated with question marks of pink and blue. Inside was blue balloons with the sign that would pop up. But what I thought was a clever way of saying it, she got a dozen pink and blue balloons that she tied to a chair.

Catering provided food for the party. During which, Jon and I would causally pop one of the balloons until there was only one pink and one blue remaining.

"Alright, guys, take your bets now." I said with a chuckle.

To make the announcement, Jon got down on a knee and whispered in Amy's ear. Shannon stood next to the box and Amy popped the last pink balloon.

All of our friends exclaimed in their excitement as Shannon lifted the lid and blue balloons filled the air.

"Thank you, Pop" Amy happily said, kissing Jon's cheek.

"For what?" Jon asked.

"For the baby brother." Amy told him.

"He's not Santa Claus, Amy." Shannon rolled her eyes.

I looked over at Phil, who was sulking in the corner.

"You're nursing that Pepsi pretty hard." I teased. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"I'm really happy for you, Jess. You know that. It's just..."

"We talked last year about having a boy." I finished his thought.

"Yeah." Phil nodded. "I don't even think that way anymore, ya know? It's just...don't mind me."

I knew what Phil meant. I nudged his shoulder, patting his knee.

"It's almost like how Jon feels about Amy." I explained a little in my interview. "There's no way that Amy could be his daughter, but she could have if we continued. Now I'm pregnant with the boy Phil and I talked about having. He doesn't wish that I was having his child, but knows it could have been his if we had gotten back together."

"He going to be alright?" Jon asked when I joined him a few minutes later, nodding over to Phil.

"Oh yeah, he's just being grumpy." I said.

"CM Punk being grumpy? I don't believe you." Jon teased.

Later that night, Jon and I were snuggling in bed when I felt the baby move for the first time. I covered my hand with Jon's as we both held our breath until he moved again.

"That's our son moving around in there." He said in awe.

Our son. Jon and I interlocked our fingers together, marveling over the little movement in my stomach.


	41. Chapter 41

Thanksgiving was here before we knew it. We had invited Phil and AJ, John and Nikki, Bryan and Brie, Seth, Roman, and Stephanie and Hunter over. I hadn't actually expected Stephanie to take me up on the offer, but she did.

"We had our family Thanksgiving yesterday. Besides, I think our girls missed each other." Stephanie said, nodding towards the five girls playing in the castle.

"No, Murphy, that's not how it goes!" We heard Shannon exclaim.

"Shannon, it's my turn." Aurora insisted.

I laughed as I sipped my smoothie that Jon made me.

"What is that you are drinking?" Stephanie wrinkled up her nose at the green concoction.

"Oh, get this." I said, leaning in towards her. "Jon has been going nuts worrying about nutrition. He created his own smoothie for me, to help me with my cravings."

"Seriously? What is it?"

"It's a mixture of different things: pineapple, spinach, green apples-"

"What?" Stephanie laughed.

"Try it." I encouraged.

She looked at me skeptically as I handed her the mug. She sniffed it at first, still looking unsure.

"Go on. Never pegged you as a chicken." I teased.

She raised an eyebrow at me but took a sip. And downed the entire bottle.

"Hey!" I said, snatching it away from her.

"I'm sorry, but that's really good." Stephanie said, wiping her mouth.

"Sweetheart, I need another!" I called over to Jon.

"Coming right up!" Jon yelled from the living room.

"You know, I really admire you both." Nikki said, joining us on the porch. "Raising a family on the road like you both are is tough."

"Yet you both make it effortless." Brie seconded, joining us.

Stephanie and I exchanged a glance and chuckled.

"Effortless? Hardly." I said.

"It helps having a dedicated partner." Stephanie said. "I couldn't even begin to do it without Hunter."

"Here you go." Jon said, handing me a fresh glass.

He leaned down to kiss me, the intensity behind it taking me momentarily by surprise. I blushed when he pulled away.

"Let me know if you need anything else. We're watching football in there." Jon said with a wink.

Stephanie elbowed me as he walked back inside. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nikki pour more wine in her glass, looking forlorn.

"You and John are still fighting?" I asked.

"Not fighting. Not talking either." She murmured.

"I don't understand." Stephanie said.

"Stephanie and I have always had a special bond, but due to her job, she rarely gets a break away from work." I said to the cameras in my talking head segment. "She and I are friends, but she's still the boss to everyone else, so she misses out on the girl talk."

"After Bryan proposed, Nikki told John that she wanted to get married and have kids someday." Brie explained.

"And John told me that it wasn't in the cards with him." Nikki said, taking a rather large gulp from her glass.

"Nik, I'm sorry, but John told you this from the very beginning." I softly said. "Even told you this during your first date, if I'm not mistaken."

"I know, and you're right. I can't fault him for how he feels, but I can't let go of my dreams." Nikki said.

"I'm not saying you should." I reached over and lightly patted her knee. "I just...I know John."

"You're his best friend. I just don't get it."

"I do." Stephanie spoke up. "It's difficult just having a relationship with the schedules that we keep. And add kids on top of that, it's hard. John is an important part of our company, but even that we wouldn't ask him to sacrifice."

"He does it because he loves it. He doesn't want to slow down for at least ten years." Nikki said.

"I'm not saying that Nikki isn't in the right for feeling the way she feels." I said to the cameras later. "But John's never going to change his mind."

"I couldn't have been happier for my sister when Bryan told me he was going to propose. And then later at the dinner with all of our family, it just really hit me. I want to be a wife. I want to be a mom."

My hands fell instinctively to my stomach as my son felt like he was doing somersaults. I grabbed Nikki's hand so she could feel his movements. She brushed a tear away from her brown eyes as she gave me a little smile.

"Yeah, yeah I want that." She said.

"I just don't get it. You're his best friend. He sees you making it work. And here you are, pregnant with your third child. How can he look at you and not think that we can pull it off?"

"Oh, Nik." I kept her hand on my stomach when she attempted to pull away. "It's not what he wants. And if this." I pressed her hand flatter into me. "Is what you want, then I'm really sorry. I am."

"You think I should leave him?" Nikki was barely able to choke back her tears as she asked me the heart-wrenching question.

"I know you love him. And I know he loves you. But I know John isn't going to change his mind. And I don't think you should give up your dreams. If being a mom is something that you really, seriously want, it won't be with him."

During the meal, Nikki still sat next to John, but both more or less ignored each other. Everyone else had a great time and enjoyed the meal and the company, grateful that we could call ourselves family.

Later that night, I kissed Stephanie and Hunter goodbye for them to catch their plane. Bryan and Brie left not long after that so they could catch their flight to his mom's. Everyone else hung around, not in a hurry to go back to their respected homes.

I put Shannon and Amy to bed, and joined the eight other adults play cards.

"Texas Hold'em." Phil told me as I sat down.

"Great, deal me in." I said.

Time got away from us as we played for hours. Finally, one by one, people were leaving.

"Thanks, Jess." Seth said, kissing my cheek. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"Happy Thanksgiving, bud."

Sarah went home with Seth, looking forward to some quality time between them. A little bit later, Roman busted out and left. Even Nikki and John were holding hands when they left.

That left Phil, AJ, Jon and myself.

"Royal flush." Jon said, putting his cards on the table.

"Well, that takes me out of the game." Phil grumbled, tossing his cards down.

"Mom!" Shannon's voice called down the stairs.

I checked my watch, my lips pressed together.

"It's 1am, young lady." I flatly said.

"Mom, come quick! Something's wrong with Amy."


	42. Chapter 42

I was up the stairs in three strides, with Jon and Phil right on my heels.

Shannon was next to Amy, who was completely pale except for red patches covering her face.

"Hey, baby." I gently picked Amy up to feel her face.

She was burning up. Her lips were chapped and her throat was swollen.

"Mommy." Amy's voice was barely above a whisper. When she opened her eyes, they were bloodshot.

"Mom, what's wrong?" Shannon asked.

"Sweetheart, why don't you go downstairs with Miss AJ, okay?" Phil encouraged.

"No, I want to know what's wrong." Shannon told him.

"Jon, the doctor's number is-" I began.

"I'm on it." He said, bounding out the door.

I pulled back the covers to give Amy a good look over. Her hands and feet had swollen nearly double it's size. The patches on her face extended down the rest of her body. She was taking shallow breaths. I immediately wrapped her back up in a blanket and scooped her up in my arms.

"Is it wise to move her?" Phil asked.

I wanted to explode. Something was wrong with my baby, something I had never seen before, and he's jumping on me about holding her?

"We've got to go." Jon reappeared a few minutes later, taking Amy from my arms and walking down the stairs.

"Mom." Shannon's worried voice called over to me.

"Stay here with Dad and Miss AJ, alright?" I told her.

"No way, I'm coming." Phil told me.

I gave him a warning look, but he cut me off before I could argue.

"That's my daughter, too."

Jon rushed us to the hospital. Amy curled up on Phil's chest, the red patches growing in numbers. I brushed her hair from her face, feeling her temperature rise.

The emergency staff was waiting for us when we pulled up, taking Amy from Phil and putting her on a stretcher.

"Momma-"

"I'm here, baby." I managed to choke back my tears.

Phil held my hand while Jon parked the car and I filled out the admission paperwork. I didn't care about any of it, I just wanted my little girl to be alright.

Jon handed me an orange juice which I sat aside and ignored. Phil wouldn't let go of my hand, not that I tried to pull away from him.

I watched the clock on the waiting room wall tick by. 1:30am. 2:00am. 3:15am. Finally, my name was called.

We were led through the double doors to the ICU, where Amy was hooked up to a few machines. She looked even paler now than she did in her bedroom.

"Mrs. Good, my name is Dr. Turner." The tall man in the white coat introduced himself.

"What's wrong with my little girl?" I asked.

"We believe that Amy is suffering from a condition known as Kawasaki Disease."

"What's that?" Phil asked.

"It's a very rare childhood illness. The disease causes vessels surrounding the heart to inflame and enlarge, damaging the heart itself."

I gasped, tears strolling down my cheeks upon hearing the explanation.

"Treatable?" Jon asked.

"Yes. We need to start on a course of antibiotics right away." Dr. Turner told us.

"Yes, of course." I instantly said, looking back through the glass at her.

"I must warn you." Dr. Turner gently said, bringing my focus back to him. "That that's all we can really do for this. There are drugs that should help keep the swelling from permanently damaging her heart and we hope to get it contained."

"Should. Hope." I repeated the words.

"I can't guarantee that the treatment will work. It's likely, but there is still a chance it won't."

"You're saying there's a chance my daughter will die." I flatly said.

"Yes, Mrs. Good." He nodded.

"Do what you have to do." I told him.

"In the meantime, you can sit with her. Just try not to get too close until the fever breaks."

I nodded so he walked away to give orders to the nurses. Ignoring his suggestion, I immediately went in and held Amy's hand.

"Mommy's here, sweetheart. I'm not leaving." I told her, pressing my lips against her forehead.

The nurse came in a little while later to ask questions needed to fill out the report to the CDC.

"Um, Amy had an ear infection a few days ago." I said, managing to look away from my child. "The usual. Fever, irritability, you know."

"And she was treated?"

"Of course. Dr. Peterson gave her some antibiotics, which she responded to. She was fine today."

At least she seemed fine. Her appetite returned, she was having fun with Shannon and Stephanie's three girls in the playhouse earlier. Was there something I missed?

"Don't you do that." Phil sternly told me. "This isn't your fault."

"Of course not." The nurse agreed.

One of the monitors connected to Amy started to buzz and then her entire body started to shake. Jon pulled me away from the bed as the nurse called for a team to enter.

I buried my face in Jon's chest as the team cleared out a few minutes later. Dr. Turner reappeared minutes later to evaluate her.

"She's had a seizure. I'm ordering a series of tests."

I chewed on my nails, looking over anxiously at Amy.

"We're going to do everything we can for her." Dr. Turner assured me.

"Please." My voice broke. "That's my little girl, you understand?"

"Of course." Dr. Turner gave me a small smile before leaving.

Amy had one more seizure that night. I had no idea how I managed to, but I fell asleep around six am, with my head resting on Jon's shoulder and holding Phil's hand.


	43. Chapter 43

There hadn't been much in the way of improvement in her condition over the next three days.

She had a few more seizures, which gave the staff cause to worry about a possible stroke. Her fever hadn't gone down that much, but the swelling had. That was enough to have Dr. Turner assure me that we were on the right track with her treatment.

Every few hours, someone came in to do an ultrasound on the tissue surrounding her heart. There was a very real worry about the damage being caused there.

Jon and Phil never left my side. My phone buzzed regularly from friends and family members needing an update.

"I don't know." I shook my head at the camera during my interview. "I don't know what to say or what to do. I've never felt more helpless. My baby is sick and all I can do is tell her that I love her and that she'll be alright. But I don't know."

Sunday night, there had only been a little improvement. She went several hours without another seizure, which I was grateful for. But this was an ongoing process. This wasn't something that we could resolve quickly.

"What time is your flight?" I asked Jon.

"No way am I leaving you and Amy right now." He looked at me in disbelief.

"Sweetheart, I know. But you have others to think about. Roman and Seth need you at TV. She will understand."

Jon looked at me bitterly for a moment before blinking. "I don't want to leave you."

"I'm not going anywhere." I told him. "I'll be fine."

"What about him?" Jon asked, gesturing towards Phil.

"I think Raw will be okay one week without CM Punk." Phil told him.

That made Jon's eyes narrow. He kept balling up his fists and letting go, turning his head to make the muscles in his neck pop.

"Stop." I said, giving him a quick kiss. "There will be none of that. Catch the latest flight you can out and hurry back to me."

"Alright." Jon finally agreed. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Jon's kiss when he left felt more for show to Phil than meant for me. I made a mental reminder to get on him about that later, when we weren't dealing with this.

"There's no way he's jealous, right?" I questioned the cameras. "I mean, after everything we've gone through-"

And I paused. Maybe he wasn't jealous. He was just acting out from fear with the situation.

"It's just easier to direct his anger towards Phil because Phil can take it. We're all on edge worrying about Amy."

At least that's what I hoped.

Amy hadn't been able to keep food down, so a feeding tube had to be put in.

"She's lost a couple of pounds." I noted.

"She's strong, Jess. She gets it from her mother." Phil told me, giving my hand a squeeze.

"I don't feel strong right now."

"You're blind. You're being strong for Shannon. You're Amy's pillar of strength. Plus, you've got this one." Phil tentatively reached out to caress my baby bump. "Don't discount yourself."

"I feel helpless."

"I know. I do too. We're doing all that we can."

Amy was awake for a few hours, so Phil snuggled up with her the best he could and read her a story. He held her close for hours, long after she fell asleep against him.

"There are many things people can say about Phil Brooks." I noted during my one-on-one with the camera crew. "And yeah, some of those things would be right. He can be arrogant, hot-tempered, selfish...but when it comes to his children, he would do anything for them. That's the man I fell in love with those years ago."

Phil only moved when the nurse came in to check her vitals. A couch was moved into the room so we could have more comfortable seating arrangements. He came to snuggle up on the couch next to me, his arm around my shoulders.

"Shannon is still okay with Sarah?" He asked.

"She's mad at me for not allowing her up to the hospital." I said. "I told her that Amy knew she loved her but I didn't want Shannon to see her sister like this."

"You're probably right." Phil said, pressing his lips against my forehead.

"Thank you, by the way." Phil's brown eyes looked at me curiously. "For being here."

"Of course. That's my little girl, too, Jess."

"She always will be, Phil."

We rested our heads against each other, focusing instead on watching the mundane TV. I giggled for the first time in several days as the baby started to stir.

"What the-"

I cut Phil off by pressing his hand into my belly. He lifted up my shirt to feel skin-on-skin, smiling.

"He's strong too. Got a name yet?"

"We're still debating." I told him. "Ow."

The baby kicked me hard against Phil's hand. Phil chuckled. "Be nice to Mommy."

"He's pretty active tonight."

Phil started talking to the baby, letting him know what was going on Raw as well as updates from hockey scores. Eventually the baby did settle down, but only after hearing Jon's voice from a promo The Shield cut.

"This is going to be strange, not going to lie." Phil said.

"What is?"

"Being called Uncle Phil instead of Dad to this one."

Before I could respond, one of the monitors next to Amy's bed started to go off. A nurse rushed to check.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my voice full of alarm.

She gave me a worried look before running out of the room.

"That's not good." Phil said in a low voice.

Dr. Turner came back in with several medical staff behind him, grabbing Amy's bed and began to push it out.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Her heart isn't doing well under the strain. I need to get her into surgery now so see if we can help."

Phil wrapped his arm around me as I began to cry heavily, watching nervously as Amy was taken for immediate surgery.


	44. Chapter 44

I kept checking my phone every two minutes while pacing in Amy's room.

"We'll know something once there's something to know." Phil told me.

"Where the hell is Jon?" I fumed.

"He can't help the airports, Jess. He's stuck in a blizzard."

I paced for several more minutes before letting out an irritated growl.

"How are you so calm?" I asked him.

"Because she's going to pull through this." Phil evenly told me.

"I'm glad you're so sure."

"I am."

"Don't tell me you have faith?" I questioned.

"In God? No, he doesn't exist. But in Amy? Yeah, you bet I do."

A nurse brought me a food tray, but I set it aside. I didn't think I could handle food right now.

"You need to eat." Phil said.

"I can't." I shook my head.

"Come on now. I won't have Moxley yelling at me for not taking care of you."

I quit my pacing, deciding instead to join Phil on the couch. He took my hands in his, pulling me gently towards him.

"You are making yourself sick, and you have a baby to worry about. Let Amy be in the hands of the doctors. There's nothing we can do right now."

"I don't need you to take care of me, Phil." I flatly told him.

"You take care of everyone else. When Jon's not here, the job falls on me to make sure you're being looked after."

I swallowed hard, tears filling my eyes as I nodded. Phil quickly brushed them away, shaking his head.

"None of that, pretty lady. Everything will be fine."

"I'm sure you're right."

I did eat the tray the nurse brought, managing to keep most of it down. Another hour went by then another. I got down on my knees where Amy's hospital bed was and I prayed with all my heart that my little girl was going to be alright.

I heard scuffling of heavy boots before someone joined me on the floor, pressing his forehead to mine and putting his hands on my shoulders.

"I missed you." I whispered.

"I got here as soon as I could." Jon told me.

"I know." I opened my eyes and gave him a weak smile. "We don't know anything yet."

Jon pulled me into his arms, one hand running through my brown hair. We didn't move, just stayed on the floor holding each other until the doctor came in.

"It was successful." Dr. Turner told me with a small grin.

Jon and I scrambled to get up off the floor as relief washed over me. Jon kissed my cheek as I shook Dr. Turner's hand.

"Thank you." I told him.

"She'll be wheeled back in here in a few. We need to keep a close eye on her, just to make sure. She's still sick, but the antibiotics should take care of most of it."

"And her heart?" Phil asked.

That's when Dr. Turner hesitated. "Her heart has suffered some damage due to the disease. There is still swelling around her heart that we can only watch for now. This is something we need to keep an eye on."

"For years?" I asked.

Dr. Turner slowly nodded. "As young and healthy as Amy is, I doubt that this is anything that will be a lingering issue. But as her body grows, we need to make sure her heart does along with her."

We each thanked him before he left. Amy was wheeled back into the room, still asleep from the surgery. I kissed her forehead, relieved to see some of the red patches was starting to disappear. She wasn't out of the woods yet, but at least she was improving.

The next morning, Amy was alert and starting to feel a little better. That afternoon, I received a surprise visit from Dr. Newman.

"You called to reschedule your appointment, but we need to check on the baby." She told me.

"Sorry, I'm just in the middle of a family emergency." I told her.

"I know. Jon told me. But it will only take a few minutes and we can do it right here."

I quickly agreed.

"She's right, after all." I said during my interview. "Now isn't the time to be neglectful. I've got my son to think about."

We went into one of the examination rooms down the hall from Amy. Dr. Newman did her usual checks, pressing her lips thinly together when she noticed the tenderness in my abdomen.

"Been cramping?" She asked.

"A little." I admitted.

"Why didn't you say something?" She asked.

"Isn't that normal?" I asked.

"Let's see." She said, having a technician turn on the ultrasound machine.

Jon and I both smiled as the image of our son came on the screen. She moved the wand across my belly, getting pictures from every angle.

"That's interesting." Dr. Newman said.

A jolt of alarm shot through my body. "Interesting? Don't say interesting."

"No, I mean interesting." Dr. Newman said.

"Something wrong, Doc?" Jon asked.

"Well, wrong is not the right word."

"You're freaking me out here." My voice shook.

Dr. Newman ran her tongue over her top lip before sucking it in.

"Turns out, we've got a girl here."

A girl? "I thought I was having a boy."

"You are, Jessie. A boy and a girl."

Wait, what? "Time out." I said to the cameras, forming a T with my hands. "Babies. I'm having babies. Twins?"

"What?" Jon sputtered, obviously in shock.

"You're a twin yourself, right? Multiples can run in the family." Dr. Newman said.

"Twins? I'm having twins?" I asked.

"She must have been hiding when we looked a few weeks ago. Yeah, see."

Dr. Newman was able to point out my little girl's outline, hiding behind her brother. A tiny little arm was draped over the other baby's body, four little legs were moving almost in unison.

I looked over at Jon to gauge his reaction. For a second, he stared at the screen, his eyes cloudy. The next moment, he was whooping and yelling in excitement.

"You're okay with this?" I asked.

Jon grabbed my chin, kissing me intensely. He pressed his forehead against mine when he broke the kiss, stroking my cheek.

"We're having two babies. A little boy and a little girl. A little me and another little you."

"I don't think the world can handle another you." I grinned.

Jon beamed brightly at me, kissing me again.

"You know what this means." Dr. Newman broke into our little moment. "The risks are higher. We need to keep a close eye on you and your little bundles."

Yeah, I know what that means. "It means Jon is going to go overboard with my care. It means we need another crib, another car seat, a bigger stroller. Twice the cries, the diapers, the spit ups, the sleepless nights." I said during my segment for the cameras. "Twice the giggles, twice the kisses. Double the love. I couldn't be happier with this news."


	45. Chapter 45

Amy steadily improved over the course of two weeks. Finally she was medically cleared to come home.

"It's been a long and scary road, but she's doing great." I explained during my talking head segment. "We're still going to keep an eye on her heart to make sure there isn't any lasting effects, but the doctor is hopeful."

Shannon was more excited than Amy was about her sister returning home. I had to remind her twice that Amy had been through a lot and needed to rest.

"My poor little girl." I whispered to Jon as we watched her sleep in her bed for the first time since Thanksgiving. "This took a lot out of her."

"Jess, she's going to be fine." Jon softly said, planting a gentle kiss on my neck.

"Yeah." I whispered, resisting the urge to crawl in bed with her.

Her strength did return over the next few days. By the time her doctor told me it was safe to go back on the road, Amy was back to her old self again.

"When are we going to decorate for Christmas?" Amy asked.

"Soon, darling." I promised.

"I am like the queen of Christmas." I explained to the cameras. "I go all out. Decorating inside and out. We typically have a Christmas party which I wasn't sure if I was going to do because of the pregnancy, but Amy's right; it's not Christmas without our festivities."

"Are you happy to be back on the road?" Brie asked when we were all in the locker room.

"Definitely better than being in the hospital, that's for sure." I told her.

"We're all so thankful that Amy's okay. We prayed every day." Nikki told me.

"Guys, that really means a lot. Thank you."

I started rifling through my bag to get changed into my gear when the yellow baby blanket I had been knitting fell out. Without skipping a beat, Ariane picked up the yarn.

"What's this? It's awfully bright for a boy." Ariane teased.

I tried to snatch the unfinished project from her hands, but she leaped out of the way. She threw it over to Trinity.

"Unless you are wanting to explore new gender roles." Trinity joked.

"Give that back." I tried to look authoritative and failed.

Trinity laughed, tossing the tiny blanket over to Nattie. The game of keep away continued for several minutes before Ariane tossed it over to Eva. I was ready for that. I jabbed my elbow into her side, causing her to fumble. I managed to grab it before it hit the ground.

"So not cool." I admonished.

Trinity laughed before giving me a hug. "Sorry, girl. But why yellow?"

"It's not for my boy. It's for my girl." I stated.

"Wait, so you aren't having a boy?" Nattie asked.

"No, I am. I'm having twins." I informed them.

The locker room was silent for several seconds before they erupted with loud cheers. The girls quickly ambushed me, still squealing in delight.

"What the hell?" AJ asked, walking into the room. "I can hear you guys down the hall."

"Jessie is having twins!" Nattie exclaimed, nearly knocking me over when she wrapped her arms around my shoulders.

"Twins? No wonder you've gotten so big." AJ said.

"Girl, color you jealous." Ariane stated.

"Right. Jealous. I'm jealous of the weight gain, the swollen ankles, bags under the eyes, not getting in the ring-"

I laughed as she counted off on her fingers. "Of feeling your baby move inside you. Here." I reached out my hand and pulled AJ to me.

"What the fu-" She paused as I placed her hands under my belly button. She leaned her head to the side before breaking out in a big smile.

"Okay, yeah, that's cool." She smiled broadly as the babies felt like they were doing flips in my stomach.

"Move over, I wanna feel." Ariane knocked AJ out of the way.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Easy, ladies. I'm not a wave machine."

"Girl, you kinda are." Ariane laughed.

"So, a boy and a girl. Think you can manage?" Trinity asked.

"Oh yeah, you should hear Jon." I grinned. "Creating lists and setting up routines. I tried to tell him that babies are anything but routine, but he says if we have a system down, it'll be easier."

"Names yet?" Nattie asked.

"Don't have a boys name yet. I've got the girls though." I told him.

"Jon and I haven't been able to agree on our sons name." I explained during my interview. "But the girls as soon as I said it, we knew it was right: Kendall Michelle Good."

"I love that name! Kendall." Brie stated.

"Any idea for the boy?" Nattie asked.

"I like Bradley Joshua, but Jon flat refuses. He says that he won't allow his son to be called BJ."

That made the girls laugh.

"He does have a point." Nikki told me.

"It's a work in progress." I said with a shrug.

As soon as I got home, I went into full swing decorating the house. It took over two days, but the house was transformed. I'm glad there was a video camera to capture the surprise on Jon's face when he returned from the road.

"Please tell me you didn't do all this yourself?" He asked.

"I hired help." I told him. "Plus Sarah and the girls joined in the fun."

White lights covered the front of the house. Inside, I had more lights and tinsel, along with hand painted ceramics and Christmas themed crafts.

"Where's the tree?" Jon asked.

I shook my head. "The tree is the final thing. We do that as a family."

"What do we do?" Jon leaned his head to the side.

I chuckled. "We all go and pick out a tree and then we come home and decorate together. I make punch, put on some music. It's fun. It's tradition."

Jon stroked his chin and nodded. I caught something in his eye before he looked away.

"You've never had anything like this before, have you?" I asked.

Jon shook his head. "Christmas meant nothing in my house growing up. Just wasn't in the cards, ya know?"

My heart melted for him. I sat on his lap, curling up to him. "My darling, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine." Jon said before kissing me. "It's worth the years of shitty Christmases to have one like this now with you."

_A fresh start._ I thought with a small smile. Everything family related is all new to him.

"This is beautiful." Jon told me after looking throughout the house. "Seriously, this is nice."

Sarah and Trinity set to work on decorating the family room for the baby shower they insisted on throwing for me. Jon and I went down the street to John's house while they got everything ready for the party.

"Look at you." John beamed. "You certainly do look happy."

"I am. Are you?" I questioned.

"Ah, you mean Nikki."

"Yeah."

"You've always been able to see through me." John sighed.

"Habit after knowing you for over thirty years." I told him.

"I just don't think I can make her happy." John stated.

"Look, man. It's all about compromise." Jon told him.

"I don't think there is a compromise in this case." Jon dryly said.

"I get it." I sighed, shaking my head to the cameras during my interview. "John's schedule keeps him away from home a lot. He doesn't want to be an absentee father. We've seen too many of those in this business. We know too many of those. As much as John loves kids, he would want to be there for them and he just doesn't feel like he can be for many years."

I gave my oldest friend a small smile and patted him gently on his shoulder. Until a horrible thought popped in my head that I couldn't shake.

"I know that look. What's wrong?" John asked.

"You think I'm a terrible mother, don't you?"

John spit out the water he had been drinking. "What? No. What makes you think that?"

"Something Nikki said. She said that she didn't understand why you thought it was impossible to raise a child on the road. She cited me as a reference, but you quickly dismissed it."

"No, I don't think raising a child under the work schedule we have is right. You are the exception to the rule." John told me.

"Oh really? So you agree with my decision to raise my two girls on the bus?"

"N-y...don't confuse me."

"I'm not confusing you. It's a simple question." I flatly said.

"If it was me, no, I wouldn't be raising a child that way. And I most certainly wouldn't have my pregnant wife on the road, either."

"Hold on, now." Jon's voice filling with anger. "That's Jessie's choice. She's taking precautions, isn't going out on house shows, is only doing the TV tapings. She keeps her fitness and meal schedule. She does great."

"Of course you defend her." John scoffed. "You want her on the road as much as possible."

"I want to be there for my wife, of course." Jon defensively said.

"Stop it!" I stomped my foot, breaking their argument. I turned my attention to John Cena, my eyes burning with intensity. "I want to hear you say it."

"Say what?" John looked bewildered at me.

"Say that you think I'm a good mom."

"Of course I think you're a good mom. Jess, you're fantastic to raise Shannon and Amy the way you are. And now there's two more on the way." John shook his head. "I bow to you. I just know that it's not the way I would want to raise my children. That's not a knock on you."

"If you say so." I said, brushing past him as I grabbed my purse to leave.

"Don't leave like this." John grabbed my wrist, but Jon pulled me away.

"Sorry, we've got to go." Jon curtly said.

"Don't come to the baby shower, John. I'm sure there are more important matters for you to tend to." I sharply said, turning on my heels and rushing out the door.


	46. Chapter 46

Jon's and my phone took turns buzzing in our pockets, but we didn't even bother to check. In the thirty years I've known John Cena, I've never been this mad.

I stormed up the stairs, ignoring the confused looks from the ladies downstairs, and went straight to my room.

"Where does he get off?" I fumed. "Come talk to me about my parenting skills after you've spent all night with a fever and runny nose then wrestle twice in one night. Talk to me after you clean skinned knees and checked for monsters under the bed before going out for the main event. Lecture me about my children once you've kissed their foreheads and tucked them in for the night."

"You know what?" Jon gently said, rubbing my arms affectionately. "Forget about him. I'm going to draw you a bath and you're going to relax."

"I doubt a bath will do anything." I dryly said.

"I think you've forgotten I know how to make a mean bubble bath." Jon said with a wink.

I was still fuming when he came out of the bath ten minutes later. I reluctantly gave him my hand as he lead me to the room.

"That man is far too good for me." I blushed into the cameras later.

Candles were lit around the room, giving off the sweet fragrance of wild flowers. I slipped gingerly into the hot bubbles, letting the bubbles do its trick on my muscles.

The bubble bath was incredible. I laid back in my over-sized tub, allowing myself to completely relax. Even the twins seemed to enjoy it.

I groaned when a loud knock on the door pulled me out of my bliss.

"Come on, time to get out." Jon coaxed.

"But I don't wanna." I pouted, sticking my bottom lip out.

"You keep doing that and we won't make it to the shower." Jon winked.

"Sounds good to me." I grabbed a handful of his shirt and pulled him down to me.

Water splashed onto the floor as I nearly pulled him into the tub with me. Jon laughed, kissing me passionately before placing his arms underneath me and yanking me out of the water. I squealed and wiggled against his chest which just caused him to laugh more.

"Devil woman, you're going to get us in trouble." Jon said in a low, husky voice.

"I'm hoping." I said with a grin.

Twenty minutes later, we were getting heavy when we heard two pairs of tiny fist bang on the door.

"Momma! Aunt Leslie is here!" Shannon called through the bathroom door.

Jon had to clamp a hand over my mouth to keep me from making a noise my children should never hear from their mother.

"That's great. Give us about five minutes." Jon said through the door.

I bit my lip, nearly drawing blood. Five minutes? Not likely.

"What are you two doing in there?" Amy asked, scratching lightly at the door.

I nearly lost it. "Five minutes, okay?"

There was a brief moment of silence before I heard them giggle. "They are so weird." I heard Shannon say as they backed away from the door.

"Think we can manage with two more running around the house?" I questioned.

"Can't wait to try." Jon said with a grin.

We got cleaned up as soon as we could and went downstairs. Sarah gave me a knowing smile as she handed me a glass of punch.

"Not one word." I said, wagging my finger in front of her face.

"I didn't say anything." Sarah said with the same smile plastered on her face.

"Mmm."

"That's what she said." Sarah snickered.

I playfully swatted my sister away, turning to hug my twin.

"I'm so glad you could come!" I said.

"Of course. It's not every day that my twin is going to have twins. Wait, it's not every day, right?" She raised an eyebrow.

I laughed, shaking my head. "No, this is it."

That made Jon's head snap in our direction. "What now?"

"I'm just telling my sister that this is it for me."

The look on Jon's face was unreadable. Something in the way he gazed made me bite my lip.

"We hadn't talked about having anymore children after this." I admitted during my interview. "I guess I just assumed that now that we're having a boy and a girl, this would be it. I hadn't figured he would want more."

"We'll talk later." I assured him.

Jon nodded but didn't look convinced. I had to admit, that surprised me.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm happy being pregnant and I love being a mom. But I'm already in my mid-thirties and these are babies three and four for me. I guess I just assumed...You know, never mind." I said during my interview.

My youngest sister, Anna, and my parents couldn't come but really wanted to, so Jon set up a webcam and a website where they could log into and watch.

"Again, I don't deserve that man." I smiled warmly into the camera.

John thankfully didn't show up, but nearly the entire diva's locker room did.

"I must say, I'm happy Eva isn't here." I admitted as I explored the wonderful food table that Sarah had set up.

"She's off for some photo shoot." Brie dismissively said.

"Photo shoot? With who?" I asked.

"I think the WWE Magazine. I wasn't really listening as she was going on about it." Nikki stated.

"The only reason why Eva Marie is getting attention is because she's a new attraction. Something young and pretty that hasn't been photographed as much as the rest of us have." I complained to the cameras.

"She should enjoy the time while she can." I dismissively said. "New shiny things tend to lose their luster."

"You're right." Nikki said, taking a cupcake from the table. "Seen it time and time again. Newbies come and go, but we vets remain."

"Aren't you worried that it's going to happen to you?" Leslie questioned.

That made all the divas turn to look at her. An eerie silence fell across the crowd.

"What do you mean?" I finally asked.

"Aren't you worried that the new ones will push you out, making you lose your luster with management?"

It was an innocent question that made everyone freeze.

"I'm sorry if I said something wrong." Leslie asked, looking embarrassed.

"No, it's not you. It's just that most of us worry about that a lot." I comforted her.

Even if the WWE released me today, I knew I would be okay. It would hurt and I would miss it...wrestling is my passion, but it no longer consumes my life, thanks to Jon and the kids. I wasn't old by any means, but I'm not in my twenties anymore either. I still had a lot to offer, but if management decided that I had reached my usefulness with them, I had been good about my money and would be set.

"Alright, none of that!" Sarah clapped her hands together, the noise causing a few of the girls to jump. "We're here to have fun, right?"

A few mumbled in agreement, suddenly not looking to be in the party mood.

"Alright, out." Sarah shooed Seth and Jon from the room. "Ladies only."

Jon looked to protest, but Sarah would not have any of it.

"You had her for ten minutes or so, however long it took to make the babies." She teased. "Out with you."

"Fine, I'll go." Jon said, tugging on his jacket. "And it wasn't ten minutes." he said with a wink.

Several of us giggled as we waved the guys out of the house. Sarah passed out necklaces with a tiny plastic pacifier at the end.

"This is the baby game." She explained. "Anyone caught saying the word baby or twins has to surrender their necklace. Whoever has the most at the end of the shower wins a prize. The game starts now."

"I can tell you already that Jessie has no chance of winning." Nattie teased.

"Winning what?" I tilted my head to the side at the question.

"At winning the baby-"

The entire crowd of winning held out their hands for her necklace. Nattie sheepishly handed it over to me.

"Clever girl." Nattie dryly said.

Sarah passed out cards to everyone that had a few different baby names and their meanings. Trinity's eyes lit up when she saw a list for boys names.

"Does this mean you've chosen a boys name?" She asked.

I eagerly nodded, biting my lip. "Now guess which one."

That sent the girls into a frenzy, trying to guess which ones. I leaned back and watched the girls argue back and forth, trying to guess. Nikki, Ariane, and Tamina lost their necklaces during the battle.

"Alright, alright!" I called to simmer them down. "Want to know?"

A resounding 'yes' came from the attendees. I chuckled as I pulled a banner that Sarah had done out from under a cabinet. Leslie helped me attach it to the fireplace.

"Welcome soon, Kendall and Joshua." Kaitlyn read out loud.

"Awww!" Another loud chorus came from my friends.

"Joshua Daniel." I announced.

"So precious." Brie cooed.

The shower was a lot of fun. Sarah had gone above and beyond to plan a terrific party. We all cooed over the presents and games were played. Trinity ended up winning the baby game.

After a while, the party started to die down. Several of the girls left until it was down to Sarah, Leslie, Trinity, AJ, and the Bellas.

"So how are you feeling? Really." Brie asked.

"Really good actually. My babies are healthy and strong. I haven't had any complications yet. It's going real good."

"Can I ask you a question without you accusing me of being a crazy woman?" AJ asked.

I chuckled at my friend. "You can certainly try."

"Do you miss Punk in any way?"

I ran my tongue across my bottom lip, trying to figure out the best way to explain it.

"Phil and I will always have a strong connection. In a way, there's always going to be a part of me that wants him. But Jon...Jon's my everything. With him, I'm complete."

The girls aww'd at my statement, making me blush.

"In my opinion, I have the best part of Phil."

"No, _I_ have the best part." AJ teased.

"Debatable." I said with a grin.

"He's not called best in the world for nothing." AJ said with a laugh.

"Best in the world is just a gimmick." I tossed back, quoting a promo from Jon from his early days in FCW. "Everything works out the way it's meant to."

I looked over at Nikki and shook my head. "By the way, your John is on my list right now."

"Oh no, what did he do?" She asked.

I proceeded to fill her in on the argument we had earlier. Everyone chimed in on their opinions but Nikki.

"You're right." She softly said. "You've always been right. He's not going to change his mind."

"No, honey. He's not."

Nikki wiped a tear from her eye and cleared her throat. She rose her glass high up in the air, making a toast.

"To Kendall and Joshua: may they be the second best twins in the WWE!"

"I'll drink to that." I said, knocking paper cups with her.


	47. Chapter 47

"Alright, go find us a beauty." I encouraged the girls.

Shannon and Amy ran off through the Christmas tree lot, making a race out of it. Jon and I wandered around, holding hands. It didn't take long before a loud chorus of "Mom!" was ringing out from different corners of the lot.

We reached Amy first, who was dancing around a small tree. It looked a little thin for my liking.

"Okay, let's see what Shannon found." Jon said, scooping her up and placing her on his shoulders.

"Woah, Mommy, I'm really tall now." Amy beamed down at me. "Look! I can see Shannon!" She pointed to the left.

Jon lightly jogged in place, causing Amy to squeal in delight. I teased him for doing his Brock Lesnar impression, which made both Jon and Amy stick their tongues out at me. Still didn't stop Jon from hoping around in place.

"Those little squeals from Amy." I said a little doe-eyed during my interview. "He'd do anything to elicit that. Considering last month we came close to losing her..."

My voice trailed off. Tears swelled up in my eyes, spilling onto my cheeks before I could stop them. The boom mic guy handed me a tissue as I tried to compose myself.

"God bless my family." Was all I could say in that moment.

Shannon's tree was taller than Amy's but was bald in one spot. Amy jumped off of Jon's shoulders to get a closer inspection, wrinkling her nose in the process. An idea popped in my head that made me smile.

"Girls, why don't we let Jon pick out the tree this year?" I asked.

Shannon and Amy started to protest but I cleared my throat, quieting them down.

"It's his first Christmas tree." I told them.

"You mean, with us." Shannon said.

"No, dear." I shook my head.

"You've never had a Christmas tree?" Amy's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of her head.

Jon got down on a knee in front of her. She pressed her little forehead against his, rubbing noses together.

"No, I never had one." Jon told her.

"Let him pick out the tree." Shannon agreed.

"Come, I'll help." Amy said, tugging on his hand.

"My girls love Christmas." I stated to the cameras. "Unlike most children their ages, it's not about Santa and presents. Christmas is a big deal in our house. They both pick a sick child from the hospital to get a present for. It's about family. They know that."

The lot owner gave me a chair for me to rest while we watched Jon and Amy inspect the trees. Shannon sat on my knee, curling up to my neck.

"He didn't have a family, did he?" She softly asked.

"Not really, sweetheart." I admitted. "His upbringing was very different."

"He has one now."

"Yeah, he does."

Shannon rested her head on my shoulder, lightly touching my hair. "Does it upset Daddy that we love him?"

"What? No, sweetheart. Your daddy understands."

I closed my eyes, relishing Shannon snuggled up against me. Several minutes pass before we hear Jon and Amy call over to us.

As soon as I saw the tree, I knew it was the one. I reached out to take Jon's hand, biting my lip.

"It's perfect." I said.

"You heard the lady." Jon called over to a worker standing nearby. "Let's get this loaded.

One of my friends currently working in NXT, Scott Dawson, generously offered his truck to transport the tree and to help set it up in the house.

"Thanks, bud." I said, giving Scott a hug after the tree was in its stand.

"Anytime, Jess." Captain Roughneck said with a grin.

"Go rest that knee. See you soon."

Sarah had brought out the Christmas decorations and preceded to put the lights up on the tree. I sat in my recliner watching Shannon and Amy pull out decorations and explain them to Jon.

"Mommy got this when she won the Divas Championship." Amy explained, holding up an ornament.

"And I made this one." Shannon showed him.

"Mommy, what are we going to do about Daddy's ornaments?" Amy asked.

I hadn't thought about that. Phil didn't like Christmas. He allowed me to do my thing because of how important it was. He had no intention on putting up a tree.

"We can still put them up." Jon thoughtfully said.

Sarah put on music and handed out cups of the Christmas punch I made. The five of us happily decorated the tree, with Seth hanging back to take pictures.

"I'm making a scrapbook." Seth told me when I asked what he was doing.

"I have the best friends." I grinned to the cameras.

After we had completed the ornaments, Jon picked up the topper.

"We forgot the angel."

"No, Daddy always put the angel on last." Amy explained.

For a second, my heart fell. That was one of the traditions that Phil always stuck to. It was his favorite part.

"I've got an idea." Jon said, picking up Shannon and placing her on his shoulders.

"Hey!" Amy put her hands on her little hips, looking up at him.

Jon laughed. "Seth, care to give me a hand?"

Seth handed me the camera and picked up Amy to have on his shoulders. Both of their little faces lit up as the guys danced around the room with them.

"Tell me you got pictures." Sarah whispered.

"You know I did." I grinned.

"Alright, we'll do this together." Jon instructed, getting on one side of the tree.

"One..." Seth began counting off.

"Two..." Jon hovered the angel over the top of the tree. Shannon and Amy both got their little hands on it.

"Three." The guys said in unison.

The angel was lowered down, finding its home in the branches. Shannon connected the light through the angel to the end of the lights on the tree. Everyone happily clapped their hands when the angel didn't fall.

"And now, the finishing touch." I said with bravado.

Seth did a drum roll as I plugged in the lights. Taking a step back, I was finally able to fully appreciate the tree.

"Great job, everyone. It's perfect." I bragged.

We all gathered around the tree, singing along with the music and telling stories. Time quickly got away from us. Soon it was time to put the girls to bed.

"So, this is Christmas?" Jon asked, his blue eyes dancing.

"It's the start. Just wait until there are so many baked goods the table is full and we start wrapping presents."

"Have I told you today that I love you?" Jon asked, wrapping an arm around me.

"Not in the last few hours." I said, grinning.

"I honestly don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'm grateful. I love you. I love those girls. If this is the tip of the iceberg, I love our lives together."

I was still beaming when I sat down for another interview for the TV show later.

"He's wrong, you know." I told the crew. "I'm the lucky one."


	48. Chapter 48

By the time Jon woke up the next morning the kitchen table was covered in baked goods. Chocolate chip, sugar, oatmeal raisin, chocolate cherry, and white chocolate peppermint cookies took up more than half the table as the assortment cooled. I had just taken a red velvet cake out of the oven when he walked in.

"What's all this? Did the Keebler elves need to borrow the kitchen?" He joked.

"Haha. Can you take the dough for the cinnamon rolls out of the fridge for me?" I asked.

"Momma, is the frosting for the sugar cookies ready?" Shannon asked, holding up her bowl.

I stuck my pinkie into the bowl to taste. "It's good." I nodded. "Wrap it up with the plastic and chill it."

"You weren't kidding about your baking frenzy." Jon commented as he handed me the dough.

"Most of it is for the Christmas party. The cake is for Stephanie, who orders one from me every year. The cinnamon rolls are for breakfast."

"I'm making the frosting for breakfast." Amy beamed proudly.

"Today, we're hosting our annual Christmas party." I explained to the cameras with Amy nestled on my lap. "Tell them about it." I said, looking down at her.

"We're known for our Christmas party." Amy beamed. "We always have fun. We all have dinner, listen to music, pass out presents, and then there's our scavenger hunt!"

"We have just as much fun setting up the scavenger hunt as the guests have playing it. Isn't that right?" I asked Amy before tickling her.

The finale of the Christmas party was always the scavenger hunt. I got together with a few local businesses to tell them my scheme. Clues would be dispersed and hidden throughout the city until someone gets to the end and win a big prize. This year's prize will be found in the WWE Performance Center, but it wasn't related to work.

The smell of warm cinnamon and fresh coffee filled the air, making my mouth water. The look on Jon's face the first time he bit into one was priceless.

"You made these?" He looked at me astonished.

"It's my grandmother's recipe." I nodded.

"Incredible." Jon said, kissing my cheek and smearing frosting all over my face.

"Ew, Pop." Shannon wrinkled up her nose.

"You're so silly." Amy laughed.

I grabbed a napkin and cleaned my face. "Goofball."

After breakfast and clean up, we went shopping for presents for the party. Shannon and Amy picked out their gifts for the children's hospital and we spent a majority of the afternoon wrapping and decorating cookies. I couldn't help watching Jon. He was having just as much fun as Shannon and Amy were.

"I love your version of Christmas." Jon said, snuggling up to me.

"It's not a version." Amy corrected. "It's Christmas!"

I thought my heart would melt as I watched Jon scoop Amy up in his arms, rubbing noses with her. "You know what? You're absolutely right."

"The way he is with the girls." I paused, grinning like an idiot to the cameras. "It's beautiful."

The girls showed Jon how to make the holiday punch as Sarah and I put on the finishing touches for the party. Another table was set up to accommodate the food as the kitchen table was laid out with the snacks.

"One of these days, I'm going to learn your secrets." Stephanie joked as she kissed my cheek. "This place looks fantastic."

"I had a tiny army helping me." I said with a grin.

"Can I hire them to help get the network off the ground?" Hunter teased.

"I'll check the child labor laws and get back to you."

The first to arrive, surprisingly enough, was Phil and AJ. I happily greeted Trinity and Jimmy Uso, whose twin brother Jey was trailing behind. Ariane came without Vinnie, but assured me they were fine. He was visiting his father. Nattie and TJ came with their arms full of presents. Brie and Bryan followed shortly after them. Seth apologized for being late as he brushed past me to kiss Sarah. Roman was right on his heels, shaking his head and giving me a hug.

"How are you doing, baby doll?" Roman asked. "You look great."

"Pregnancy has always agreed with me." I said with a grin.

I wasn't surprised when Nikki and John arrived separately. He was the last invited guest to arrive.

"You still mad at me?" He hesitated in asking as he stepped through the front door.

"What do you think?" I dryly asked.

"Come on, Jessie. You know I think you're a fantastic mom." John reached out to stroke my arm but I pulled away from him.

"Uncle John, are you going to read from one of Christmas books?" Amy asked, tugging on his shirt.

"In a little bit, sweetie, I promise." John assured her.

"He said he would later." Amy called as she ran into the family room.

I stood in front of my friend, arms folded over my chest, lips pressed together. John sighed seeing the hard look in my eyes.

"It's Christmas. Can't we just forget about it and move on?" John asked.

"How about no, John." I flatly said.

"Okay, okay. It's not news that I don't want children because of _my_ lifestyle. I admire you for your dedication to your family _and_ your career. You're one hell of a wrestler, Jessie, and a better mom than most of us have ever seen. No one can take that away from you. None of us have the balls to do what you do."

My eyes narrowed the longer I looked at him, unmoved by his words.

"Seriously, Jessie. Shannon and Amy are sweet, smart, well-grounded girls who will undoubtedly grow up to be amazing women. And you've got two more on the way? I admire you. For years, you've dealt with a lot of challenges that I know I wouldn't be able to face. Maybe I'll never get to that point. But to think that I think you're a horrible mom is laughable at best."

"It amazes me." I finally said. "How you can be so giving and selfless yet be such a selfish person."

My words struck its mark, making him wince.

"I'm not kidding. You take care of your family. You spend personal time visiting Make-A-Wish children when you don't have to. Very admirable, very selfless. But when it comes down to it, John, you're selfish. You like your life neat and tidy and there's nothing wrong with that. No one is saying that you should change your ways or that you're wrong. You feel how you feel and there's nothing wrong with that."

I stood toe to toe with John now, poking him hard in the chest.

"But don't you look down on those who have different opinions. And until you're in the position that I've been in, where it comes to the decision on how to raise your babies, don't condemn mine."

"You're right and I'm sorry." John apologized. "I never should have. I really am sorry for hurting you or insinuating that you weren't a good mom. Can I have a hug now?"

I thought about it for a moment before nodding. "You're forgiven. You're still a bonehead." I said.

John wrapped his strong arms around me, giving me a squeeze before letting me go.

"I am sorry, you know." He said again.

"Is this something you should be saying to Nikki?" I asked.

"I don't think we're there yet. Truthfully, I don't know if we're going to be there." John sadly admitted.

"I'm sorry, bro." The corner of my mouth twitching into a frown.

"It's no ones fault but my own. Enough sad talk. When do we eat?"


	49. Chapter 49

The meal was as impressive a spread as the baking. Baked ham, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, green beans, rolls, gravy, roasted corn on the cob, steamed mushrooms, stuffing, and rice. All made by me and nothing came from a box or can.

"I like to show off my culinary skills from time to time." I bragged to the E! Network cameras.

"Jessie, you really went all out." Phil nodded in approval. "No wonder I stayed around as long as I did."

"Oh, haha." I said, poking him in the belly.

"It's a wonder I'm not 275 lbs." Phil joked, sticking out his stomach.

"If you were, you'd still be WWE champion." Hunter teased.

"Told you I was good for your career." I said in a sing-song manner.

Phil playfully swatted me away, sticking his tongue out at me in the process.

Everyone gathered at the table and had a great time enjoying the meal.

"This is actually one of my favorite parts." I admitted during my interview. "We all see each other all the time, but how often do we get to sit and enjoy ourselves? This is one of the few times a year we can gather as friends, not co-workers. It's always a blessing."

After dinner, we gathered around the tree. I put on some Christmas music and let Shannon and Amy pass out presents to everyone.

I cuddled close to Jon, our fingers intertwined and heads resting against each other. Presents started to pile around us, but at that moment, we couldn't care about it.

Nattie cooed over the tiny outfit I made for her newest kitten, Louis. TJ admonished me, telling me not to encourage her dressing up the cats. Brie and Bryan loved the new wine glasses I picked out for them. Nikki got new earrings, which she seemed surprised that I remembered her pointing them out several weeks ago.

One by one, the presents were opened. My friends enjoyed the cookies and having a great time.

"You haven't opened mine yet." Seth said, putting a rather large box in my hands.

"You didn't have to do anything." I told him.

"You already know what it is." He said with a slight shrug.

I exchanged glances with Jon before carefully undoing the large red ribbon. In the box was the scrapbook that Seth told me he had been working on.

"Oh, Seth." I said in awe, lifting it from the packaging.

Tears flowed freely as Jon and I flipped through the pages. He'd been working on it for some time now.

The first picture is when Jon and I first met years ago. It's actually of our initial meeting. Jon was sitting in a chair lacing up his boots when Seth and I were horse playing in the locker room and I was knocked into him. Jon caught me and we both tumbled backwards. Someone had snapped a picture of me laying across his chest as I introduced myself to him.

"Oh, God." I said, laughing. "I remember this."

There were torn concert tickets, a clipping from when Phil and I announced that I was pregnant with Amy. Different images and things that had special meanings over the years.

Details from Jon's and my in-ring wedding covered the next few pages, followed by the news of my current pregnancy, pictures from the sonogram, and finally the pictures he took when we were setting up the Christmas tree. All proof of my wonderful family.

"Thank you." I said, giving him a quick kiss. "It's immaculate."

After the presents had been unwrapped and my sugary concoctions were devoured, it was time for the scavenger hunt.

"Alright, everyone should know the rules but just in case, here we go." I began, passing out little gift bags that had the first clue. "Everyone break into teams. You can't use any other team to help. No cheating. The bags have the first clue, but not everyone is going to go to the same place. The team who meets me at the final destination wins."

"Everyone ready?" Jon asked, grabbing a hold of my hand.

"On your mark." I said.

"Get set." Jon chimed in.

"Go!" We both said in unison.

Everyone rushed out of the house and into their cars to check out the gift bag. Several cars started and went down the street. Jon and I cleaned up the torn wrapping paper while the girls danced around excitedly.

"When do we go?" Shannon asked.

"It'll be a while." I told her. "But we can watch."

"How?" Amy asked.

I turned on my iPad and started up an application. I had gotten permission to connect to a few of the places where I set clues in to be able to connect wirelessly to their cameras.

Several minutes later, Nikki and Brie were the first to show up to one of the locations. I handed Shannon the iPad, keeping her and Amy busy for a while.

Knowing it would be a while, Jon and I snuck off for a little private party of our own. By the time we came back down the stairs, Shannon met us on the landing.

"Uncle Seth and Roman are on the way to the last clue!"

We rushed over to the performance center, sitting down in the middle of one of the rings. We weren't waiting long before Seth and Roman burst through the door.

"We did it!" Seth said, holding his hand out for a high five.

"You haven't found the prize yet." I told him.

"Aw, man." Seth dropped his hand.

"What was the clue again?" Roman asked.

"Roddy Piper is know for this, as well as the Best in the World. Think you have what it takes? Take center stage with a microphone." Seth repeated.

"Promo room." Roman said, slapping Seth in the chest.

"Ow." Seth mouthed over to us, rubbing his chest. I couldn't help but giggle at my silly friend as he followed behind the big Samoan.

"Mom, that didn't rhyme." Shannon told me.

"I didn't rhyme all the clues, sweetheart."

Seth and Roman emerged from the promo room each holding a manilla envelope.

"Is this it?" Roman asked.

I nodded. "Open it."

"Okay, I tend to go overboard on Christmas." I stated to the cameras. "The prize for the scavenger hunt is always something extravagant. This year, I went above and beyond."

Both of their eyes lit up as they pulled out paper work and a brochure.

"A three-day cruise to the Bahamas? Are you serious?" Roman asked.

"We only get a limited days off for the holidays. Figured you could use a little get away with your ladies." I explained.

"We each have two tickets?" Seth pondered out loud.

"Of course. Unless you two want to go together." I said with a wink.

"Don't listen to rumors. I don't swing that way." Seth joked.

I gave both men a big hug and waited for everyone else to arrive.

"The scavenger hunt doesn't end because a team won the grand prize." I explained during my one-on-one. "There are prizes hidden throughout so that each team gets to go home with something.

Phil and AJ were the next to arrive and found a digital camera I had hidden. Hunter and Stephanie discovered a certificate to get a hand painted family portrait done. I think Stephanie was pretty pleased with that. Nikki and Brie found the spa gift. Trinity and Jimmy received a couple massage.

What was funny was when Ariane had to team up with Jey since Vinnie didn't come with her and they uncovered the sexy photo coupon.

"Oh, no Boo Boo." Ariane shook her head. "Anyone want to trade?"

John, who didn't have a partner, sheepishly rose his hand. "I don't need a trade, but you can have mine."

"Wait, what was John's?" Trinity asked.

I burst out laughing to the point where I had to hold my sides.

"$200 gift card to Victoria's Secret." Jon explained as I was unable to speak.

Everyone roared with laughter, except for Nikki who was looking over at him scornfully. Oh boy.

Phil stepped in the ropes and sat down cross legged in the ring with me. He gave me a trademark smirk, elbowing me.

"Why don't I take Shannon and Amy on Thursday?" Phil suggested.

"The day after Christmas?" My eyes grew huge.

"Sure, why not? That way they get Christmas Eve and Day with you and Moxley and can spend the day after with me and AJ."

I chewed on my bottom lip. "I guess that would be okay."

"You have a problem?" Phil raised an eyebrow at me.

"You don't even have a Christmas tree." I whispered.

"Yeah, I do." Phil beamed.

"What?" I sputtered in surprise.

"Got a tree, decorations, the whole nines." Phil grinned.

"Who are you and what have you done with Punk?" I questioned.

Phil laughed. "I know it's your first family Christmas with Jon and I didn't want to intrude on that. But they are the only family I have left, Jess."

"They aren't your only family, Phil." I softly said, covering my hand with his.

He gave me a warm smile before pulling away.

"Okay." I agreed. "I'll send them your way on the first flight."


	50. Chapter 50

Phil, Jon, and I were asked for a meeting with creative the Raw taping before Christmas break. Stephanie sat back chewing on a pen as we entered.

"Stephanie's here? That can't be good." Jon muttered under his breath.

I had to admit that a bolt of nervousness rushed through me upon seeing her. She doesn't typically sit in on meetings.

"Glad you three could join us." Mark said, beginning the meeting.

"First off, I want to congratulate you on the success of the reality show. It's been a big hit and we've gotten lots of positive feedback. The network wants to do more, but with Total Divas going to begin shooting again soon, we've elected to leave you guys alone for now." Stephanie said with a mischievous grin.

Jon and I both gave a sigh of relief. Time away from the cameras would be wonderful.

"However." Stephanie stated. My heart sank. "The E! Network and the WWE wants to include a bit more drama into things."

Jon and I exchanged concern looks. No good can come from that statement.

"We've been happy that you three have been getting along and communicating the way you have, but we feel like we need to stir the pot up a bit. For both the TV show and our purposes." Stephanie said.

I groaned, putting my head down on the desk. Stephanie gave me a slightly amused look before clearing her throat.

"That being said, in our universe, Punk and Ambrose will be having a series of singles matches." Mark explained. "Punk will get the better of the series, with Juliet ringside with him. We're going to use that to help aid in tension with The Shield, with Ambrose not taking too well to the loses."

"And we want to tease more tension between Juliet and Punk." Stephanie added.

"Wait, tease tension? As if I might turn on Punk?" I asked.

"No." Stephanie shook her head. "As if you might go back with Punk."

"You've got to be kidding me." Jon exasperatedly said, running a hand through his hair.

"I think it's pretty established that Punk and Juliet are over." I said.

"It's a TV show, Jessie. It's acting." Mark responded.

"This is completely up to you three if this is the direction we go. But trust me when I say that we can do this quite easily." Stephanie said.

Phil had been unusually quiet during the meeting. I turned to him, trying to read his expression.

"I'm game." He finally spoke up. "We're all adults. We can play this without issue."

"What the hell." Jon shook his head. "I'm in."

"Jessie?" Mark questioned.

I gave a little shrug. "I guess I'm in too."

"You're worried over nothing, Jess." Stephanie told me. "A few lingering looks, you squarely in Punk's corner. We just want to give the illusion is all."

"We haven't really said that much about Juliet and Ambrose to be honest." Mark spoke up. "Obviously people know. We can figure out little details, but overall I think we can have fun with this."

I frowned as we left the creative meeting. A part of me was surprised with how quickly Phil seemed to agree with it.

"Come on, Jess, it's not a big deal." Phil said with a simple shrug.

"I don't like it." I shortly said.

"It'll be fine. Relax." Phil assured me.

Jon wasn't happy either, until we discussed the match later that night. For him, it was business as usual. It was the segment that followed that had me concerned.

"Daddy!" Shannon and Amy exclaimed, running over to a sweaty Phil post-match.

Phil laughed and hugged our daughters. "How are my favorite ladies?"

"We're good. We're ready for Christmas. See? We decorated." Amy said, hoping around enthusiastically.

We had outfitted an office with a small tree and little Christmas decorations. It was nice, even though it was thrown together.

"Oooh, Mommy is standing under the mistletoe with Daddy." Amy cooed.

I moved away quickly from Phil, but Shannon pushed at my legs.

"No, Mom, it's tradition." She encouraged.

"You heard her, Juliet. We can't break tradition, can we?" Phil lightly said, a little twinkle in his eye.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Not us, no."

It was only supposed to be a quick kiss. I knew that. I said as such when Phil pitched the idea earlier. However the moment he slid his arm around my expanding waist, I should have known better.

I knew I should have pulled back, but we were live on Raw and I had agreed to this anyway.

Phil's lips lightly brushed mine, but quickly changed. He made sure to pin me against the wall when I tried to move away. He hadn't kissed me that passionately in a very long time.

When he pulled away, I caught the unmistakeable gleam of desire before his expression changed.

"Merry Christmas, Juliet."

"Merry Christmas, Punk."


	51. Chapter 51

"What the hell was that?" I demanded to know as soon as Phil and I were alone.

"What?" Phil looked at me blankly, as if he did nothing wrong.

"That kiss. What was up with that kiss?" I harshly asked.

"Jess, relax. They wanted drama, so I turned it up a notch." Phil nonchalantly said.

The casual way he said that took me by surprise.

"So there wasn't anything behind that?" I asked.

"That kiss, no." He prefaced.

The way his eyes darkened made me suddenly nervous. He turned and pinned me back against the wall, caressing my cheek before putting both hands beside my head.

"This one, yes."

I couldn't move or turn away. I had no choice but to let him kiss me. I felt a bolt run though my body when his lips met mine. This was wrong. Everything about it felt wrong. Yet this was even more passionate than the kiss in front of the cameras.

I balled up my fists and hit him in the belly. He swore but finally moved away.

"What in the blue hell?" I sputtered, putting as much distance between the two of us as possible.

"I'm not going to apologize." Phil shook his head.

"You should! To me and to Jon." I hotly told him.

"Alright, fine. Tell me you didn't feel anything behind that kiss and I will." He challenged.

"No, I didn't. I felt you force that kiss on me. You know that I wouldn't willingly accept it."

Phil scoffed at me. "Come off it, Jessie. You wanted that kiss. I saw it in your eyes earlier."

"I wanted?" I glowered at him. "I'm in love with Jon. I'm married to Jon. There's nothing between you and me anymore. And I thought you were okay with that."

"I was." Phil admitted. "Until the meeting. Then I thought back to what AJ said you told her during the baby shower."

"Right, my baby shower. To celebrate the fact that I am having twins. With my husband." I harshly stated.

Phil ignored my comments. "You said that there's always going to be a part of you that wants me. Just like there's always going to be a part of me that wants you. What's wrong with exploring that?"

"Everything!" I yelled at him. "Everything is wrong with it!"

"Yet you don't deny that you still want me." The twinkle in Phil's eye was unmistakable.

"A _part_ of me, possibly." I argued. "This whole conversation is inane. Tomorrow you'll come to your senses and apologize."

I stormed out of the room with his protest still fresh on his traitorous lips.

I felt a little righteous as I grabbed my bag from the locker room. I stood my ground, didn't let him get to me. This had been too similar to fights we had in the past for comfort. Phil knew how to push my buttons. But not this time.

Even though I would only admit it to myself that a part of me did like the kiss. Only a part.

"No." I muttered under my breath. "That's the past."

I had just gotten the thought out when my present and future walked up to me.

"Hey, Jon, what are your thoughts-"

I never got the question out. Jon grabbed my arm and pulled me into one of the empty production rooms. As soon as the door closed, his mouth was on mine, sending bolts of electricity down my spine. As he deepened the kiss, my knees began to buckle. That man knows how to make my toes curl.

When he broke away, I was completely breathless and putty in his hands.

"That was to remind you," He said, pressing his forehead against mine and cradling my body against his. "That I love you. And that's the way you kiss a desirable woman."


	52. Chapter 52

I elected not to answer Phil's call later that evening. If he wanted to talk to the girls, he would have by Skype. That's always been the rule. We've never used Shannon and Amy in our arguments.

The next day was the final Smackdown tapings before the new year, the last schedule we needed to keep before Christmas. Jon and Phil were scheduled to have another singles match which had most of us nervous except for Jon.

"I'm a little surprised at you." He said, feigning that I had hurt his feelings. "Inside those ropes, I'm a pro. I'm not going to let the fact that I should beat him to an inch of his life interfere with business."

"See, it's things you say like 'inch of his life' that worry me." I told him.

"Relax." He said, giving me a quick kiss. "It's fine. Besides, you'll be ringside with him and Seth and Roman will be out with me."

"Okay." I stupidly nodded. "Have fun and be safe."

"Always." He said with a wink.

"You aren't going to take my arm off if I touch you out there, right?" Phil asked as he was stretching before the match.

"Thought about it, but no." I told him. "I did agree to this tease after all."

"A tease, is it?" Phil swung his brown eyes over to me, smirking. "Is that what we're telling the boy?"

"Not a boy, my husband." I sternly corrected. "And believe me, he's all man."

Phil chuckled as he did what I always called the RVD stretch. The urge to run up and kick him in between the legs was strong. Instead, I grabbed my hoodie.

Sometimes it surprises me how easily we slip into our roles of CM Punk and Juliet. It's definitely not a stretch for him, what you see is pretty much what you get with him, but it's different for Juliet. The way she compliments Punk is different dynamic than our relationship ever was.

Still, we had a job to do. Phil and I got down on one knee simultaneously and checked our invisible watches. We lingered on each other for a moment before announcing that it was clobbering time.

Phil had his arm around me in the ring as The Shield came through the crowd. I locked eyes on Jon as Phil sat on the middle rope to help me out of the ring.

"This is not good." I muttered under my breath.

The way Jon popped his neck and flexed his hands made me worry. Watching the way Phil was with me in the ring must have set him off.

From the moment they locked up, I knew this wasn't going to be the scheduled match. Both men traded real blows and very little actual wrestling happened.

"Roll out!" I shouted my order to Phil who surprisingly obeyed.

I put my hands on his shoulders and searched his eyes as the ref began his count.

"You look rattled." I said.

"He hits harder than I had given him credit for." Phil relented.

Jon rolled out of the ring but didn't immediately gave chase. Phil had positioned my body to be in between them.

"Nice. Hide behind the pregnant woman." I sneered.

Phil didn't say anything, just gave a low, feral growl. Both men made it back to the ring before the ref reached his count of ten, avoiding the count out.

"What the hell?" Seth asked as I wandered over to them.

"Get him to roll out again and remind him that it's him I love and want to be with." I said before walking back to my corner.

Seth accomplished his goal, but that did nothing to stop Jon and his relentless attack on Phil. Now Phil was holding his ribs and wheezing slightly. I could see blood trickling down from the corner of his mouth.

The finish was supposed to be that Jon would miss the kick that would lead to his ddt finisher. Phil would scoop him up on his shoulders and give the GTS. Only Jon didn't miss the kick or the punch that followed. I watched in surprise as he got his ddt driver on Phil and earned the three count.

I crawled into the ring and cradled Phil's head in my hands. He was knocked out cold.

It took me and the referee a few seconds to get him to come to.

"Ow." Phil groaned into my stomach.

I wanted to say that it served him right, but I held my tongue.

Once we were in the back, I expected a tirade from Phil, creative, Vince, someone. But no one argued. In fact, Vince and Hunter came up to praise both of them for the match.

"You're not going to make us re-do it, are you?" Jon asked.

"No, what you did was good. Just next time, stick to the format." Vince told him.

Phil and Jon locked eyes. Several tense minutes went by before anyone said anything.

"Next time you think about taking advantage of my wife, remember this." Jon crossly told him.

"Just remember she was mine first." Phil snidely told him.

"She's with me now, where she belongs."

"Enough." I said, stepping in between the two. "Actually, get it out of your systems now." I encouraged. "You guys want to fight? Go ahead."

Jon stood strong with his arms out to the side. "Come on, sunshine."

"No." Phil shook his head. "I'm not sure what I'm fighting for anyway, only that I am fighting."

Phil quickly apologized and said that he wouldn't pull a stunt like yesterday again. I wish I would have gotten that written down.


	53. Chapter 53

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I demanded as I collected my gear.

To his credit, Jon looked abashed. "Hey, I'm sorry-"

"Sorry? You're sorry?" My eyes flashed in anger. "I have two children, Jon. I have two more I'm growing inside of me. Honesty, I can't handle any more!"

I hastily closed my suitcase and brushed past him. Before I could reach the door, Jon grabbed my arm and gently pulled me back to him.

"You're absolutely right. What I did...was terrible. Jess, I'm sorry." He lightly brushed some of my brown hair behind my ear. "I completely lost my temper which I swore I would never do. He just knows." Jon let out a deep breath. "How to push my buttons."

After a couple of seconds, I gave him a small smile. "Tell me about it."

Jon gave me an easy smile, wrapping his arms around me. "I really am sorry."

"Are you two done with your pissing contest?" I asked.

"I can't speak for him, but I sure am." He said, softly rubbing my arms. "Come on, Jess. It's Christmas. Let's go home and celebrate with our family and put all this behind us."

I frowned. "I'm sending Shannon and Amy to him on Thursday."

"I know." He said with a sly grin. "And then I'll have a surprise for you."

"Jon, really?" I perked up a little. "You didn't have to-"

"Hush." Jon ordered, pressing a finger to my lips. "I get to spoil my amazing pregnant wife on Christmas. Or any other time I feel like it."

"Alright." I reluctantly agreed. "But did you really have to knock him out?"

Jon looked like he was trying to hold back a grin but failed. "That was just fun for me."

"You're still a sick guy, aren't you?" I licked my lips at him, my eyes dancing.

"Don't you forget it, baby." He muttered in a low, raspy voice before kissing me.

We were wrapped up in our embrace when I heard someone clear their throat behind us. I growled, breaking the kiss and turned to glare at our intruder.

"Oh, don't allow me to interrupt." Phil dryly said.

"Too late." I shortly said. "What?"

"I can see that I crossed a line." He began. I took a step towards him angrily, but Jon grabbed my waist and pulled me back to him. "Okay, I crossed a big line."

"Damn it, Phil." I huffed. "Just when I thought we are okay, you go and pull a stunt like this."

"I don't have an excuse, Jess. There's nothing I can say in my defense." Phil said.

"You can't answer me why?" I questioned.

"Of course I can. It's just not an answer that either one of you want to hear."

My heart started to pound in my ears, and not in the usual way that Jon gets my blood pumping. I balled up my fist, trying to control my anger.

"Out." I bitterly stated.

"Our relationship is over and I don't want to re-candle anything. But it's hard not to want you when you look at me with those trusting eyes. Those beautiful, crystal eyes. Damn it Jess, it's enchanting. You still enchant me."

"That's my wife you're talking to." Jon sharply said, cutting in between me and Phil.

"Yeah, see I know that. I fucking married you two. Don't you think I know that?" Phil fumed.

"Jon." I gently said, putting my hand on his shoulder. "Do you mind leaving us alone for a minute?"

"Are you kidding me?" Jon spun around, looking at me incredulously. "I'm not leaving you alone with him."

"He's not going to try anything." I assured him. "Let me talk to him."

No one said anything for several moments. I sucked in my bottom lip, looking deep into Jon's eyes. After another moment, he reluctantly agreed.

"But I'm going to be right outside the door." Jon informed Phil.

I blew him a kiss before he shut the door. I sat down on the couch in the area, motioning for Phil to join me. He stretched out, laying his head in my lap. I leisurely stroked his hair, sitting in silence for a few minutes.

"You know he has his ear pressed against the door." Phil said.

"I know. I'm not concerned about him."

"Oh, Jessie. I really screwed things up, didn't I?"

"You could have, but we're going to fix this right now."

Phil chuckled. "Why are you the one who always pulls me from the ledge?"

"Because that's what we do, Phil."

Another few minutes passed. He exhaled, sighing contently.

"So I still enchant you, huh?"

"You really are a wonderful woman, Jess. I meant what I said, though. I don't want us back."

"I know. We're not good for each other."

"No, this is what we're best at. Well, one of the things."

"Hush. No dirty talk." I admonished.

Phil chuckled. "I'm sorry. I guess sometimes I'm just jealous."

"You? Jealous?" I smirked. "That's new."

"Yeah, it is. I don't like it."

"So talk to me. What are you jealous of?"

"You knew exactly what you wanted. And you went for it. And I've never seen you happier. Maybe that's the attraction. You are so happy and lively since he swept you off of your feet... I would be lying if I said that a part of me didn't wish it was me."

"You wish that it had been you?"

"I just wish I could have seen this side of you when we were together, I think. It's confusing. I'm sorry if I'm not making sense."

"No, I think you are better than you realize. You want what Jon and I have."

He was silent for a few moments before agreeing. "I guess I didn't realize how bad until the last few weeks."

Phil sat up and took my hands in his. He looked troubled for a few minutes before he finally opened up. "I thought that it was with you, and then I see how happy you are with him. And you're doing great. And you're having his babies. The boy we talked about wanting and another little girl. And when you look at me with those eyes, I get confused."

"Phil, you will find that. Just don't push that on me. You know how unrealistic that is. And I would hate to have my husband kick your ass again."

Phil smirked. "I let him get a few good shots in."

"Let him? Please." I playfully scoffed. I didn't keep it up because I knew how bad his ego had been hurt in the ring tonight. "Alright, can you do this? Be my friend and play the role that we were asked without you trying to stick your tongue down my throat?"

"Well, when you ask so delicately." Phil grinned. "I don't need to tell you that Jon is pretty fantastic for you."

"I know." I flashed a smile. "I think I'll keep him."

"Think he'll forgive me?" Phil asked, the smile dropping off his face.

"I think so." I told him. "You're okay."

Phil nodded. "Thanks to you." He gave my hands a squeeze.

I leaned over and brushed my lips against his, making sure to pull back before he could touch me. "I hope you know that you'll always have a special place in my heart. Next time you feel like this, why don't you talk to me? Or better yet, go sex up your girlfriend."

Phil winked at me, jumping off the couch and offering me a hand. "Think I'll do just that."

He pulled me in for a hug. I ignored how tightly he held me as I patted his back.

Jon opened the door as we pulled away. He was by my side in an instant, holding me close to him.

Phil offered his hand and his most sincere apology to date. I breathed a sigh of relief when Jon shook his hand and accepted.

"I'm not going to fight you anymore." Jon told him. "When we do, it hurts more than just us. We've got two girls to think about and of course the babies." Jon rubbed my stomach lovingly.

"You don't have to worry about that anymore." Phil told him. "I think I learned my lesson with your right hook."

Jon smirked. "And there's more where that came from."

"Alright, alright." I casually said, waving them both off. "Can we leave now? I'm anxious to get home."


	54. Chapter 54

I snuggled close to Jon as I heard the tale-tell patter of running feet down the hallway.

"Brace yourself." I muttered before the door swung open.

A fraction of a second later, two tiny bodies jumped in bed with us. Amy wiggled in between me and Jon, giggling the entire time.

"Wake up, you two. It's Christmas!" Shannon said, shaking my shoulders.

"Alright, alright alright." I mumbled. Jon groaned in protest, wrapping his arms around Amy and holding him to her.

"Come on!" Shannon jumped over to Jon and started shaking him.

"Ah, Christmas in our house." I grinned later after I was wide awake during my interview. "Always starts the same way. The girls drag me out of bed. A fresh pot of coffee is put on. We unwrap presents. Special pancakes are made. Then a trip the children's hospital so they can give their kid a gift."

"I wish I had their energy at 5am." Jon mumbled as he pushed back the covers.

"Sweetheart, I have two like them inside my stomach. Trust me when I say that they are energizer bunnies. The energy they have at 5am is the same they will have at 5pm."

The girls flew down the stairs in their pjs that I gave them last night, nearly knocking over Seth and Sarah in the process.

"There's no way we ever had that much energy." Sarah groggily said as she handed me a coffee cup.

"There was four of us." I pointed out. "We were worse."

"Oh, God. You're right. And now you're adding two more in the mix." Sarah sleepily said.

"No coffee." Jon said, carefully snatching my cup from me.

"Oh that's not fair!" I cried out.

"You know coffee over excites the babies." He admonished, handing me one of his green smoothies instead.

I stuck my tongue out at him. Jon playfully ruffled my hair, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Mom!" Shannon impatiently wailed.

"You do know that these presents aren't going anywhere." I told them, yawning.

Shannon looked over at me, her eyes shining with the same playfulness as her father. "And what good does it do to have them still wrapped on Christmas morning?"

"Alright, alright. Smarty pants." I said, sitting down in the loveseat.

Sarah helped Shannon pass out the presents and the girls eagerly tore into them. Jon and I watched with our heads together and smiling as after each gift, the girls would squeal in excitement.

"What are you thinking right now?" He whispered low in my ear.

"How lucky I am." I honestly whispered back. "Also how glad I am that their father will take them tomorrow. I need some time with my sexy husband."

"Speaking of which." Jon said in normal tone. Shannon handed him a small box which he handed me. I looked at him skeptically as I accepted it. "Don't just stare at me. Open it."

Inside the box was a single key on a white keychain. I looked at him confused as I held it up.

"That, my dear, is the key to a cabin in the Tennessee mountains I rented for us. Once Shannon and Amy board the plan for Chicago, we'll be heading out for our own little getaway."

I looked at him completely astonished. His blue eyes were shining as he leaned down and kissed me.

"Good surprise?" He asked.

"I think we just found a new tradition." I grinned.

After all the presents had been unwrapped, Sarah gave me a hand in the kitchen for breakfast.

"A romantic getaway." She said with a twinkle in her eye. "Is that wise?"

"What? I'm already pregnant. How much more trouble can we get into?"

"I just worry that you're going to have too much fun and go into early labor." Sarah teased.

"Quite you." I playfully admonished. "What are you going to do with the house to yourself?"

"I actually won't be here." She admitted. I raised my eyebrow and waited for her explanation. "Seth and I are going to his parents."

"You're going to Iowa?" I looked at her surprised.

"He asked me last night." She couldn't keep the silly grin off of her face.

"Wow. That's big. Roger wouldn't introduce you to his folks until the wedding."

"I know! Jess, I'm really happy."

This I could easily see. My sister was practically floating on air. As we passed out the plates of pancakes, I came behind Seth and wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

"Hi, Jessie." He looked at me curiously.

I kissed his cheek, giving him another hug. "I haven't seen my sister this happy in years. Thank you."

"Jess, I'm crazy about her." He admitted.

I didn't say anything as I sat down at the table.

After breakfast, we all head to the children's hospital. Seeing the girls give out presents to the sick patients brought a lot of joy to my heart. If it wasn't for the fact that I was five months pregnant and heavy with twins, I would have been skipping down the halls with them.

"Alright, girls." I motioned to them later that evening.

The girls looked absolutely beautiful in their green and red matching dresses. Amy wore a red ribbon on the side of her hair. Jon and I were dressed in nice sweaters. The E! Network photographer and camera guy instructed us on what to do. It's our Christmas card to air at the end of the season.

Jon and I sat in the loveseat by the fireplace with the Christmas tree clearly in sight. Shannon sat on the arm of the chair next to him and Amy sat on my lap. The photographer must have snapped a hundred of the same pictures before we could shoot the simple film.

"Everyone ready? You all look great." The director said.

I nodded, giving him a polite smile.

"Whenever you're ready." The director nodded towards me.

"From our family to yours." Jon said, smiling at me. "We wish you a Merry Christmas." I said to the cameras.

"And a happy new year!" Shannon and Amy said in unison.


	55. Chapter 55

Christmas was over before I was ready. Jon had gone above and beyond for our Tennessee getaway in the mountains. Jon joked as we left that if I wasn't already pregnant, that I would've been then. I tried hard to look sternly at him, but couldn't keep from giggling.

Before flying off to Chicago, we opted to take the Friday afternoon to have lunch with a close friend of mine.

Alexis Truman came in to the WWE the same time I did. We were actually in the same training class. She had been gone for most of the year due to a stint in rehab and would be returning to work once our normal scheduling resumes.

"Jessie!" Lexi exclaimed as she opened her front door.

"Wow, you look amazing." I happily told her, giving my friend a hug.

Lexi always looked like she could've stepped from a fashion magazine. Long dirty blonde hair, sparkling green eyes and model looks made her the envy of most of the locker room.

Phil and I were the only ones who were aware that she had a problem with drugs. It was Phil that finally convinced her to seek help.

"What can I say? Rehab suits me." She flashed me a perfect smile. "Look at you! Jessie, you've gotten so big!"

"I know." I grinned, stepping inside her home. "Twins."

"I heard. Congratulations, on the babies and your wedding." Lexi said, hugging me again. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for any of the celebrations."

"I think you had a good excuse." I said with a grin. "You remember Jon."

Lexi gave him a big hug. "It takes quite a man that can steal her away from Punk. Good job, Ambrose." She gave him a playful elbow jab.

Jon puffed out his chest, looking incredibly proud.

I had long suspected Lexi had a crush on Phil making it a point of contention between us occasionally. She would not outwardly admit it, but I could always tell.

We had a terrific lunch and I hugged my friend goodbye. I knew how anxious she was to get back to work, so I promised to be ringside for her first match back.

We arrived safely in Chicago and was nearly run over by Shannon and Amy in the parking lot.

"Mommy!" Amy almost tackled me to the ground.

I couldn't help but laugh as I scooped up my five-year-old in my arms. "Miss me?"

"Yes I did." She enthusiastically said.

I gave her a quick kiss before putting her back on her feet.

"It's not the same without you and Pop." Shannon told us.

After the day was done and the girls went to bed, we sat at the table playing a game of Texas Hold'em Poker.

"I saw Lexi today." I casually told Phil.

He didn't look up from moving his cards around in his hands, but I did see his lip twitch.

"Oh yeah? How is she doing?"

"Much better. she's really healthy. Anxious to get back to work."

"Good for her."

I couldn't help but grin. He was trying not to look interested in the conversation, but I knew him too well. Maybe there was something there between the two of them, even if he won't outwardly admit it.

We stayed in Chicago through the new year, celebrating it as a family.


	56. Chapter 56

"Now that the holidays are over, it's time to get back to work." I began my morning interview. "I decided to kick 2014 off with a bang by setting up a fundraiser to give back. It's a charity fashion show! I've set up a contest to find the twelve best undiscovered fashion designers. The WWE divas will model the twelve winners and there will be an auction for the gowns. The dress that sells for the highest will get a contract for a fashion studio. All the proceeds will go to various charities."

This is something I've wanted to do for a long time. It gives WWE exposure for giving back, a chance to elevate someone's dreams, and to have fun playing dress up.

"All the WWE divas will model. Well, except me. Due to my size right now, I'm just going to MC the show." I explained to the cameras.

I counted my list and made sure everyone was accounted for: Brie, Nikki, Trinity, AJ, Ariane, Nattie, Eva, Alicia, Tamina, Aksana, JoJo, Lexi. Yep, that's my lineup.

As soon as I announced the contest, thousands of designs flooded the website. The designs ranged from the ridiculous, to the obscene, to the awesome. A few I couldn't wait to get back to my usual size two figure to wear.

I met up with the rest of the Total Divas cast with several hundred scans to go through.

"I really like this one." Eva said, holding up one of the sketches.

"You would." Nikki said. "There's very little material to that. I'm surprised it's classified as a dress."

"Yeah, that looks more like a slip than high fashion." Brie agreed.

"Do you really think this is a good idea, Jessie?" Trinity asked. "I mean, we're all such different body types."

"That's why I think it's great. We are all beautiful women with different curves. We aren't the typical stick figure model types. Well, except for Lexi." I teased.

"That's one of the things that has me excited about this endeavor." I said during my interview. "We'll be able to show how great these designs will look on someone who isn't a model."

"Jessie, this is your baby. You really should be in the show." Ariane told me.

"No, the reason why I'm not in the show is because of my babies." I corrected. "But to make up for it, I will have one of the designers that we don't chose to create a gown for me to wear."

"That's a fair compromise." Nattie said.

"Do you think any of these contestants would possibly create a special dress for me?" Trinity asked.

"What kind of special dress? You mean, apart from the charity auction?" I asked.

"Yeah." She sheepishly nodded.

I exchanged a quick glance with Brie before leaning in. "What kind of special dress?"

"Well, I've been searching for a while and haven't found that perfect dress so I was thinking about maybe creating my own or having someone draw something specifically for me.."

"Trin, are you talking about a wedding dress?" Nattie prodded.

Trinity giggled, covering her face with her hands.

"Girl, bye! You weren't going to say anything?" Ariane asked.

"Just that we've been engaged for a while but Jon's jealousy has really been in check and I think we're ready. We're thinking about getting married very soon."

"How soon?" Nikki raised an eyebrow.

"In like two weeks." Trinity admitted.

"Girl!" Ariane speared Trinity off of the couch, both women dissolving in giggles.

"Alright, ladies." I said, talking to them like I do Shannon and Amy when they get too rowdy. "We still have work to do."


	57. Chapter 57

I am really sorry I haven't updated this in a while. I have a book coming out in March and another in June so I've been busy, but I promise to start updating regularly again.

* * *

I poured over the entries for days, narrowing down to the final designs. The designers were flown in to oversee the creation of their gowns which was a whole new kind of headache I wasn't anticipating.

"No no no no no! This is not right!" I heard one of the designers, Roberta, scream at the seamstress.

"Jessie, could you come here please?" Sandra, the seamstress called over to me.

"What seems to be the problem?" I asked, making my way over to them in the corner.

"This woman is incompetent!" Roberta began.

"Incompetent?" Sandra challenged. "I don't know who the hell you think you are-"

"Ladies," I spoke loudly over both of them. "Calm down and tell me what's going on."

"Fine," Roberta huffed. "This _seamstress_ is trying to change my design."

"Watch your tone," I warned, knowing that Sandra wasn't going to tolerate it.

"Honey, I've been sewing since before you were born. The stitches you have in mind for this fabric will not hold. I'm telling you that you need to change it or else it will fall apart," Sandra countered.

"If you knew what you were doing, that wouldn't be an issue," Roberta fired back.

I thought Sandra's eyes were going to bulge out of her head. Sandra opened her mouth to argue back, but I stepped in between them.

"Okay, Roberta, I hear what you are saying. You don't want to change the design based on the stitch you want for this. But Sandra has been doing this for a lot longer than either of us, and if she says that the stitch doesn't work for the fabric, then I believe her. So we can see about making adjustments that won't change the design or maybe changing the fabric will help," I suggested.

Both women stared hard at the other for several minutes before Roberta sighed.

"I guess I can see what she has in mind," Roberta reluctantly said.

"Good. Call me if you need anything," I told them, making my leave.

I sat down in a chair, rubbing my temples.

"I am not cut out for this," I said during my interview. "This is stressful! All these designers are giving me a headache."

"You okay?" Jon asked, taking a seat next to me.

"Okay is relative," I told him.

Jon picked up my feet, swinging me over to him and started unlacing my boots.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Taking care of my pregnant wife," Jon flashed a grin. "Relax."

The loud groan I made when he peeled off my socks and started rubbing my feet made several of the girls giggle. I couldn't care less.

"Have I told you lately that you're the greatest?" I asked.

"Not in the last day or so," Jon said with a wink.

"Seriously, I would be nothing without that man," I grinned later during my interview.

Finally the dresses were created and the divas went through the fittings without fuss. I felt so bad for the girl I had asked to create a dress for me to wear. The way I kept gaining weight, we had to alter the dress three times before the auction.

"I'm getting worried about all the work you've been doing," Sarah told me as I sat down at a table to organize the lineup. "You really need to be off your feet more."

"My sister, I love you and I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine," I assured her.

"Jess, you've always been active and healthy, but you're pregnant this time with twins. It's going to be different."

"I promise that if I feel tired or not well, I will slow down," I told her.

She still gave me a wary look but didn't push it any further.

Truth was, I was feeling more tired than usual. My doctor assured me that it was perfectly normal and so far I'm handling the pregnancy well. My blood pressure has gone up a little, but still within normal limits. I knew that the office was going to make me get off the road sooner than I would like so I wanted to get the most out of it now while I could.

"There are higher risks with a twin pregnancy," I explained a little during my segment for the show. "It's unlikely that I will carry full term, so it's important to stay as healthy and active as I can. I'm hoping to stay on the road through the Rumble then I'll take my leave."

I had to go to the doctor's for another check up the morning of the show. This time, Dr. Turner expressed concern.

"You're doing too much," she told me.

"I thought my blood pressure was fine," I countered.

"It's rising and so is your hyper tension. Are you sure you still feel okay?"

"Just a little stress. Nothing overly unusual," I told her.

She didn't look at all convinced.

"Look, the Rumble is in three weeks. I promise after that, I'll get off the road," I bargained.

"You need to go slower than that," she told me. "No flying, no staying on your feet for hours without a break. Cut down on salt intake and take a nap during the afternoon. You understand?"

I sighed. "Yes, Dr. Turner."


	58. Chapter 58

Everyone came together the afternoon prior to the show for the last dress rehearsal. I wept as the twelve divas made their way down the catwalk, showing off the beautiful gowns.

"You all look so gorgeous!" I wiped the tears away.

Nattie came and hugged me. "You okay?"

"Hormones," I told her. "Don't mind silly me."

In the locker room, Trinity gathered everyone together to share her news.

"Everyone, after the show tonight, Jon and I will be going to Hawaii for our wedding," she announced.

The sound of the cheers was deafening. Most of the girls hugged Trinity, nearly knocking her down. I moved out of the way to avoid being crushed by the crowd.

"I know this is very last minute, but if anyone can come, we would really love that," Trinity said.

"I wish I could, but Dr. Turner just put me on a no fly list," I said. "But I'm excited for you."

"Girl, I wouldn't miss it! And in Hawaii! You know that's going to be off the chain," Ariane said.

"We must have a party for you when you come back," Brie said.

"Since you didn't give us the opportunity for a bacherlorette party," Nikki followed up.

The divas all danced around excitedly, making me tear up again.

"Someone find Jessie's off button," AJ teased.

"I'm sorry, I'm just so happy you guys," I said, fanning my hand in front of my face.

"Today is finally the day," I said to the cameras after I had finally calmed down. "All my hard work over the last few weeks to set everything together will come to a head. It feels really good to give back and work with such talented people," I paused, beginning to tear up again. "It's a great feeling."

I donned my headset and gathered the cast and crew together.

"I really want to thank everyone for pulling together for this great cause," I began. "I really value everyone's hard work. Have fun tonight everyone. Don't forget your cues. Alright! Let's do this."

With my clipboard in hand, I started giving orders over the headset to the production and director. Jon came up behind me, snuggling against my neck.

"Sweetheart, I love you, but I'm busy," I told him.

"Just wanted to wish you luck," he said, kissing under my ear.

I playfully slapped his leg, having to move away. "Go get your seat."

I swapped out my headset before the TV lights came on for a microphone.

"The music plays, the lights are on. And here we go," I said to the cameras for the show.

The audience roared as I waddled onto the stage to kick off the charity show.

"Hello, everyone! My name is Juliet and welcome to the first ever WWE fashion show! Our WWE divas will be wearing dresses created by twelve fantastic designers. You will choose your favorite dress by voting on the WWE app, at the website displayed on your screen, or calling us. The winner will receive a fashion contract and a photo shoot to display her designs in Vogue magazine. Plus, you will have the ability to bid on the very dresses the divas are wearing. All proceeds to the auction will go to charity. The auction winner will have the choice of which charity the donation goes to. Alright, let's get this show started!"

Thankfully, everything was a smashing success. In the end, the show and auction raised over $25,000. I was over the moon. Jon had to make me sit down afterward.

"Your heart is racing, Jess. I know you're happy, but you heard what the doctor said," Jon warned.

"I'm fine," I dismissively told him. "I-"

My words were cut off by a sharp pain in my side. I rubbed my belly, closing my eyes.

"See? Sit," Jon grabbed my arms and pushed me into a chair.

"It's...it's just a kick," I told him, catching my breath.

"No, it's not. It's the babies telling you to slow down. Now listen and behave," Jon admonished.

"Don't talk down to me, Jonathan Good," I sharply said.

"Well when you stop acting like a child, I'll stop responding like this," He curtly told me. "I'm not going to let you put yourself in risk."

"You really think I-" once again, my words were cut off. I had to hold my breath for several seconds before the pain passed.

"That's it, I'm taking you to the hospital," Jon told me.

"No, it's alright," I assured him. "I'm okay."

Jon glared over at me, his hair falling down in this eyes which only added to his stance. After several minutes without any issue, he finally relaxed.

"Are you going to start listening?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, I need to."

"Stubborn woman," Jon said, shaking his head and smiling a little.

"Yeah, but you love me."

"Every damn day."


	59. Chapter 59

Much to my chargin, I did start slowing down. My mind had a difficult time wrapping around how my body was feeling. Jon started to enforce the doctor's rule about napping in the afternoon, but after a few days, I did without his encouragement.

Trinity had one of her family members Facetime with me so I could watch her marry Jon. Everything was beautiful and I couldn't have been happier for my friend.

"My next wedding will be on the beach," I announced to Jon.

"Your next wedding?" Jon asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You know, after you grow tired of me and bugger off," I said.

"Bugger off?" Jon laughed. "Not likely."

"You promise you'll stick around even though I'm fat and stubborn and will need to be carried around by a forklift?"

Jon chuckled, brushing some of my hair back behind my ear. "Jessie, you could be as big as a house and I wouldn't care."

"I feel big as a house," I said.

"You're not fat. You're carrying two little lifeforms around," Jon gently said, rubbing my belly. "I'm in awe of you."

"Really? You don't think I'm fat and ugly?"

"You're beautiful," Jon said, stroking my cheek. "Yeah, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

That made me blush. I smacked him playfully on his chest, brushing away a little tear that fell.

"I'm serious, Jessie. You're gorgeous. I love you."

"I love you," I told him, snuggling up the best I could on his chest.

Nikki threw a party for Brie which I couldn't go to. I kept getting funny texts and pictures throughout the night. The picture they snapped of all the girls wearing beards like Bryan made me laugh so hard that I had a contraction. Jon took my phone away for a few hours after that.

The time seemed to slip by and before I knew it, it was time for the Royal Rumble. Phil was entering at number one and staying through the match, ending in the final four before going to be eliminated by Kane to further his feud with the Authority to lead up to his match against Triple H at Wrestlemania.

I alternated between sitting at the commentary table to occassionally going ringside, making sure to stay away from any wrestler being eliminated. I helped keep Seth and Dean in the match a few times as well as helping Punk.

The problems began right after Roman eliminated JBL. The tidal wave of pain hit me harder than ever before and I had to slap my hand against the desk to keep from crying out into the microphone. Michael Cole took off his headset, looking at me in concern.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Not really. I need to get to the back," I told him.

However the flurry of action kept the ringside doctor from getting to me quickly. Kane eliminated Punk and I bit my lip to keep from crying, drawing a small amount of blood.

"What do you need?" JBL asked beside me.

"Hospital," I managed to spit the word out.

Michael Cole called over his headset to bring a wheelchair for me. I couldn't focus on the match or anything else around me.

"Jessie, I've got you," the ringside doctor, Travis, calmly said as he helped me to the wheelchair. "Do I need to get your husband?"

"He's in the ring," I said.

I knew when he was supposed to be eliminated. Luckily by the time Travis wheeled me by the ring, Roman had dumped Dean and Seth out.

Jon landed on his feet and quickly took up strides next to me, not even putting over the fact that he had been eliminated by a teammate.

"What's wrong?" he worriedly asked.

"Contractions. I think the babies are trying to come," I told him.

"We're two months away!" Fear rising in Jon's voice as I was carefully moved from the wheelchair to a gurny in the back.

"I'm aware," I told him, breathing out deeply.

Jon jumped into the ambulance and we raced to the hospital.

A Dr. Malcom examined me in the emergency room, giving me something to slow down the rate the contractions hit.

"This is the start of premature labor," he explained. "The medicine should stop the contractions shortly."

"And my babies?" I asked.

"Both look strong and healthy, but I wouldn't recommend delivery just yet. We need to keep labor at bay as long as we can," Dr. Malcom told us.

"What do you recomment?" Jon asked.

"I'm coordinating with your doctor in Florida right now. We both agree the best thing to do is bed rest. Very limited movement as long as you can stand it, Jessie."

I groaned. Bed rest! Dr. Turner and I were trying to do what we could to avoid that.

"I'm sorry, but we need to limit you as much as we can for the sake of the babies," Dr. Malcom apologetically said.

"No, I understand. Of course that's necessary," I agreed.


	60. Chapter 60

There was no escaping my sour look as I laid in bed, watching Jon get ready for his slew of interviews for Monday Night Raw in Cleveland.

"You going to be okay?" he asked, pulling on his shirt.

"No," I grumbled.

I hated being in bed. Today was technically the last day I would be on the road. Jon would be getting a car with Seth and Roman and I would be taking the bus home. It didn't surprise me when Jon turned down Phil's offer to ride in his bus. They were friendly to each other now, but I still didn't expect them to hang out if I wasn't around.

"Jessie," Jon frowned. I was making him feel guilty and it wasn't really fair to him.

"I know," I brushed it off. "Go on."

Jon tossed his leather jacket to the floor, sliding in bed with me. I curled up next to him, resting my head on his chest. I felt him kiss my hair, nuzzling next to me.

"I know this must be difficult for you," Jon softly said, dotting little kisses on my forehead. "But just think about holding Kendall and Joshua in your arms soon and it'll all be worth it."

"I know," I sighed, rubbing my stomach.

Jon grinned, moving down my body and pulled up my shirt to expose my belly. We both felt a tiny kick from one of the babies as he ran his hand across my skin.

"I think we have a wrestler in there," Jon chuckled before running his tongue around my belly button.

My hips instinctively bucked, goosebumps popping up on my arms.

"Oooh, boy, you need to stop before I can't," I warned.

"Who says I want to stop?" Jon asked, grinning moving back up my side.

His kiss left me breathless and curled my toes. He ended up being incredibly late for his first TV interview of the morning.

"You know better," Sarah admonished as she helped me get comfortable in the bed again.

"Yeah, no," I shook my head, grinning. "There was no resisting him."

"You feel okay?" Sarah eyed me carefully.

"We were careful," I told her. "I'm fine, the babies are fine. No contractions, no pain."

"Alright, but you really ought to practice self restraint until after the babies are born."

"Oh, I know. Jon has already joked that if my water breaks during loving activities, he'll never work right again."

Sarah roared with laughter. "I don't think that's a joke."

I giggled, partly out of my sister's reaction and partly due to the babies moving around in me. Sarah poked at my belly, giggling when she felt pressure back.

"They are going to be coming soon," Sarah said.

"Sooner than it has been. We're trying to get through February but I really think it'll be sooner than that," I confessed.

Shannon and Amy curled up in bed with us and we watched the several different morning shows that Jon and Seth were on.

"So I hear that you're going to be a dad," One of the anchors, Smith, asked Jon.

"Yep. My darling wife, Jessie, is on bed rest right now. She gets to be home with the girls. Hi, Shannon. Hi, Amy," Jon waved at the camera.

"Do you know what you're having yet?" The other anchor, Samantha asked.

"A boy and a girl," Jon confirmed.

"Twins! You must be excited," Smith said.

"We both are," Jon nodded.

"And you already have two girls?" Samantha asked, licking her lips.

"Shannon and Amy are Jessie's from a previous relationship, but I love them like they are mine," Jon told her.

You could hear the loud chorus of aww's from most of the female staff at the station, including Samantha.

"That's right, ladies. Drool over my husband," I said to the reality show cameras.

The banter continued for several minutes, with Samantha get seemingly getting the hint that Jon was not available nor interested. Thankfully Seth took over the conversation with Smith, talking about the actual show they were there to promote.

Jon had to be on the road for a week. At home, I was going nuts without him.

"Being on bed rest completely sucks," I complained to the cameras for_ Total Divas._ "Sarah and the girls have to wait on me, I need help to do just about everything. TV is crap, I've read the books I have and the ones that Sarah brought me. I'm driving myself crazy."

I felt like I was at my wits end by the time Friday rolled around. Shannon and Amy had school with their tutor, Miss Claudine, so Sarah tried to keep me occupied the best she could.

She had started writing another book and began reading to me what she currently had written and where the story was going. I was starved for the distraction and it was a good one.

"I think you have another best seller on your hands," I told my sister.

Sarah blushed, biting her bottom lip before wrinkling her nose at me. "I just hope my editor likes it as much as you do."

"If he's worth his salt, you have nothing to worry about."

I woke up Saturday morning to the smell of fresh paint. I managed to roll out of bed, waddling down the hallway toward the fumes.

"What-" my question died on my lips. Jon was home, and had taken it upon himself to set up the nursery.

The walls were a mint green, the shade we had decided was neutral enough for both a boy and a girl. All the furniture had been assembled. Seth and Jon were finishing the final touches on the walls when they noticed me.

"Jessie! We were trying-" Jon started.

I held up a hand, fanning my face as my eyes swelled up with tears. "It's...it's perfect."

"You like it?" Seth asked, straightening a blanket on one of the cribs. I grinned, noticing that it was the yellow one I knitted for Kendall.

"Yeah, I do. This must have taken you both hours," I said.

"Well, they did have help," Roman said behind me.

I nearly knocked him over when I turned around. Behind him was Phil with a tray of drinks for them.

"You all did this for me?" I asked in awe.

"Of course! Why are you so surprised, Mama?" Roman asked.

"Aww, you guys..." I dissolved into tears of happiness. Jon wrapped his arms around me, pulling me further into the room.

"We all helped paint. Roman and Punk put together the dressers and the changing table. Seth and I did the rest," Jon told me.

Later that night, Jon and I were snuggled up together and I felt happy for the first time all week. I fell asleep, relaxed and content.

Until about three o'clock, when the contractions started.


	61. Chapter 61

"Jon," I said, shaking my sleeping husband. "Jon, wake up."

"Jessie, go back to sleep, baby," he muttered.

"No, baby. Babies," I corrected.

I gasped at another contraction. His eyes flew open as everything began to connect for him.

"Babies?" he repeated. I nodded, letting out another long breath. He flung back the covers and started running around to get clothes on. I laid in bed, watching him as he rushed out the door.

"Jon!" I called back. The door burst open and he ran over to me.

"I am so sorry," he said, helping me up from the bed.

We woke Sarah to tell her we were going to the hospital and to stay at the house with the girls.

"You're going to be okay," Jon assured me as he sped toward the hospital. "Everything is fine."

I wished I could believe him. Moreso, I wish I knew he believed it himself.

Two orderlies placed me in a wheelchair and took me to the emergency room. While my doctor was paged, another doctor began to check me over.

"Your water hasn't broken yet, that's good," Dr. Thomas noted. "We need to stop the contractions."

"You think?" I snapped.

Dr. Thomas shook his head at me and sighed.

"Mrs. Good, I know how uncomfortable this is-"

"Uncomfortable? Uncomfortable?" my voice rose. "I'll tell you what's uncomfortable-"

"Hey, hey," Jon soothingly said, rushing into the room. He walked into my arms, kissing my forehead. "It's not his fault, Jessie. He's going to do everything he can."

"That...that's right." Dr. Thomas nodded.

"I'm sorry. I'm just scared," I told him.

"You're in good hands," he assured me.

I was pushed into a private room, where I had a nurse waiting on me.

"Hi, my name is Kim," she greeted. "Let's get you hooked up."

"Hooked up?" Jon asked.

"Baby monitors," I told him.

"That's right," Kim gave me a reassuring smile as she started placing sensors on my bare stomach. Her gentle demeanor and warm smile made it easy for me to like her. Kim placed the IV in my arm effortlessly, making me relax.

"You're good. Typically it takes several tries to get the needle in," I told her.

"I guess I'm just awesome," she smiled big at me. "How are you feeling?"

"Starting to get better. Contractions aren't coming as fast or strong," I told her.

"Good. Hit the call button if you need me. I'll be back to check on you soon."

Jon pulled up a chair next to the bed, giving my hand a squeeze.

"Is there anything I can do?" Jon asked.

"You already are," I said, giving his hand another squeeze.

Dr. Turner and Dr. Thomas came in a little while later. The contractions had stopped, but that only lessened the current worry.

"Your blood pressure is spiking and you've started to bleed a little. I'm worried we'll have to deliver soon," Dr. Turner told me.

"But we're only at week 32," I said in alarm.

"I know. But the risk of preeclampisa is real right now," she told me.

"Have you been feeling any pelvic pressure? Abdominal pain Any vomiting?" Dr. Thomas asked.

"Yes to all three," I admitted.

The two doctors exchanged a quick look and I was instantly on edge.

"Is there something wrong with my babies?" I asked.

"We will check, but I don't believe we're in danger right now, Jessie. But you are in preterm," Dr. Turner told me.

I burst into tears. Jon sat on the bed, wrapping his arms around me to comfort.

"Jessie, look at me," Dr. Turner's voice was soft, yet commanding. I looked up at her, tears spilling freely from my eyes. "I promised you when you came to me that we would have two healthy little babies wiggling in your arms and I'm not about to break that promise."

"These things can happen with a multiple birth," Dr. Thomas tried to reassure me.

"Okay," I choked back a sob.

Both doctors left, but Dr. Turner and Nurse Kim would be back once the contractions had completely stopped to check out the twins. Jon didn't say anything, just held me as tight as he could.

"I should've gone on bed rest sooner," I mournfully said.

"This isn't your fault, Jess. I won't let you blame yourself," Jon told me.

"Then who is to blame?" I asked.

"No one, sweetheart. You heard the doctor. These things happen. You, Kendall, and Joshua are going to be fine," Jon softly told me.

"And what if they aren't fine? What then?" I asked.

"You can't think like that. Think positively," Jon said. "Come on, can I see you smile?"

I tried to. Honestly I did. But instead I burst into tears again.


	62. Chapter 62

Dr. Turner and nurse Kim reappeared for the examination. I breathed a sigh of relief seeing the babies move on the monitor.

"They're gaining weight, Jessie. Your boy is going to be bigger, but I think that's to be expected," Dr. Turner told me.

"They're okay?" I asked.

"More than okay. They're growing fast, which is probably why you're up in these stirrups right now. Even at 32 weeks, their progress in development looks like they are two weeks ahead of schedule."

Jon and I both were ecstatic at her claim. We had been hoping for week 34 or 35 delivery and if they are developing fast, that should mean they would be healthy enough to be born soon.

"I still want to keep you here until it's time for delivery. How are you feeling right now?" Dr. Turner asked.

"Good," I told her.

"Excellent. You and the twins are being monitored around the clock, Jessie. If something changes, we'll know. Don't hesitate to say something if you don't feel right."

"Believe me, I will." I assured her.

Nurse Kim cleaned me up and brought in a tray of food. Luckily I was able to eat most of it and hold it down.

"You're doing good, Jessie," she smiled at me.

"I'm going to get to 35 weeks," I told her.

"And I did. It was difficult at times and I almost didn't at one point when the cramps got really bad. I almost told Dr. Turner to take them at week 34, but I managed to hold on. Now I'm going to be prepped for a c-section in a few hours." I explained to the cameras.

I hated that the cameras were still there, filming the most difficult time in my pregnancy. No matter how hard I complained, I was overruled. At least I got them to agree to not be there during the actual c-section.

"I love you," Jon said, kissing me.

"I love you back," I grinned.

If I said I wasn't apprehensive as I was being wheeled down the hallway into the delivery room, I would be lying. Shannon and Amy were both different births. Phil wasn't there for either birth of our daughter's. This time, Jon was right behind me. I was being inducted, but the risks were higher this time around. Words couldn't express how happy I was to have my husband this time, holding my hand through it.

"Jessie, how are we doing?" Dr. Turner asked once I was in the delivery room.

"Nervous," I admitted.

"We're at the end now. You've been so brave. Let's get those babies, shall we?"

Nurse Kim draped a sheet around me, pulling a tray of instruments up to the side. Jon held my hand as I was given the local anesthetic.

"Numb?" Kim asked. "Do you feel this?"

I could only assume she touched me somewhere. "No."

"How about here?"

I looked to Jon for confirmation that she was doing something. "I can't feel anything."

"Good, let's begin."

The whole procedure took a relatively short amount of time. I couldn't see anything, but Kim and Jon kept me appraised of what Dr. Turner was doing.

"Holy crap this is incredible," Jon said in awe.

"What is?" I asked.

"I..I can't describe, Jess," Jon looked over at me, kissing my forehead.

"And here's your boy," Dr. Turner announced. I cried hearing my son's cry for the first time.

Kim carried the newborn to a table and cleaned him off, wrapping him in a blanket. She returned a moment later and a higher pitched cry echoed through the room.

"Kendall," I wept. "Is she okay?"

"She's perfect. They both are," Kim told me.

"You did great, Jessie," Dr. Turner said. "Here."

Kim handed Jon the bundle in the blue blanket. A tiny pink bundle was placed in my arms.

She was so tiny, wiggling her little arms and legs. Soft mounds of hair sprouted on her head. I gently bounced her in my arms, cooing at her. After a few seconds, she settled down into my arms.

"Hi, gorgeous girl," I said in awe as she grabbed a hold of my finger.

I looked over at Jon, who had our son cradled against his chest. I nearly growled at Kim when she had to take the newborns from us.

"All three of you need to rest. I'll bring them by in an hour," she assured me.


	63. Chapter 63

The twins were weighed and measured. Jon and I had to sign the birth certificates before we could hold them again.

"But only briefly. They still need to be in ICU," Kim told us.

I cradled my sleeping son in my arms, brushing back the soft mat of dark blonde curls from his face.

"He's gorgeous," Kim commented.

"He looks like his daddy," I grinned over at Jon.

He had Kendall in his arms, bouncing slowly in place. The look on his face was pure, undiluted love and adoration.

"Oh no. Have I lost you to another woman?" I teasingly asked.

"I..I can't describe this feeling," He looked over at me, his eyes beginning to water. "I thought I was prepared, but-"

"There's nothing like it. I know," I grinned. "Do you have a clue how many fangirls would explode at the visual of you cradling a newborn in your arms?"

"Don't remind me," Jon glowered. "There's a reason why I stay off of social media."

I chuckled, turning my attention back to the yawning boy against my chest. Josh started to stretch and cry a little in my arms.

We managed to take several pictures with our phones before Kim wheeled them out of the room.

"It's hard, because right now all I want to do is hold my babies," I said after I allowed the cameras back into the hospital room. "But their lungs still haven't fully developed so they will be here for a short while."

One of my favorite pictures was Jon holding Josh up like Simba from the_ Lion King._

_"_Joshua Daniel Good. Five pounds, six ounces," I tweeted a picture of a sleeping Joshua in his plastic cradle.

"Kendall Michelle Good. Three pounds, five ounces," another picture went out.

Social media went ballistic as soon as the pictures of the twins were seen. Friends and family members started blowing up our phones, congratulating us and wanting more pictures.

I had never seen Twitter react that way before. I teased Jon, stating that about fifteen girls were whining that it should have been them instead of me.

"Not likely," Jon shook his head.

A few hours later, Sarah brought Shannon and Amy in so they could meet their new brother and sister.

"I want to hold one," Shannon said.

"I know sweetheart, but they need to stay here for a while. We'll be able to hold them soon enough," I assured her.

I was surprised later by a visit from Vince, Stephanie and Hunter. I couldn't believe my boss actually took time to see me and the babies.

"They're beautiful, Jess," Stephanie said, kissing my cheek.

"You've seen them?" I asked.

"We stopped by the nursery on our way in. Steph insisted," Hunter said with a grin.

"How are you feeling, Juliet?" Vince asked.

I couldn't help but chuckle. "I've always known Vince to call people by their wrestler names," I explained to the reality show cameras. "I know he knows my name is Jessie. He called me by name in our first few meetings. But when I was given the name Juliet, that stopped. Even socially, it's Juliet."

"I'm good, sir. Glad to have two healthy babies."

"They just had to look like Dean, huh?" Vince asked with a wink.

I chuckled again. "Well, I have two that look like me. Seems only fair."

"The oldest one, what's her name?" Vince asked.

"Shannon, Dad," Stephanie told him.

"Right, Shannon. She looks like CM Punk," Vince pointed out.

"You got me there," I grinned. "At least I have Amy."

"Let me know when you're ready to come back to work, pal," Vince told me.

"If I do. I may just stay home," I confessed.

That made everyone's head snap in my direction.

"You serious?" Jon asked.

"I don't know," I said with a shrug. "I hadn't thought about it until Mr. McMahon said something."

"No, you can't quit," Vince shook his head. "I can't have my best diva quit on me, Juliet."

"Alright, alright," I laughed. "I'll let you know when I'm ready."

We had a parade of visitors over the next week. I had been released from medical care, but didn't leave the hospital. I wasn't going to go home until Josh and Kendall went with me.

I marveled over my children, how strong they were already. Before too long, they were breathing well on their own and had gained enough weight to satisfy Dr. Turner. Two weeks after they were born, we were all ready to head home as a family for the very first time.


	64. Chapter 64

The sound of a baby crying woke me up from slumber. I rolled over, checking the clock on the nightstand. 2am. I groaned, pushing back the covers.

"I got this one," Jon told me, pushing my shoulder back to the mattress. "Go back to sleep."

He didn't need to tell me twice. My head fell back against the pillow, snuggling it. I could hear Jon on the baby monitor, speaking softly to the crying infant.

"Hey, Josh. What's the matter, little man?"

I smiled sleepily. I stretched and yawned, slipping out of the warm bedsheets and tiptoed down the hall.

But Jon and Josh weren't in the nursery. I wandered through the house until I saw them out on the back porch.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Didn't want him to wake Kendall. Now that he's had a fresh change and settled down, it's buddy time," Jon grinned.

I walked over to him, sliding my arm around his waist and gently touching Josh's tiny hand. In his sleep, our son would ball up his little fist and let it go.

"Yeah, that's your son," I whispered.

"He leans his head to the side when he yawns. Have you noticed?" Jon asked. I shook my head. "That's my boy."

I gave them both a small kiss before leaving them to their bonding time. Kendall was awake and hungry, so I sat in the rocking chair in the nursery to feed her.

Jon joined me a little while later and we swapped infants.

"You can lay her down, you know," I teased.

"Nope," Jon said.

"Oh, yeah? Bet I give you a reason to," I slyly said after Josh had been fed and fallen back asleep.

No sooner than I laid our son down in his crib did I feel Jon's arms wrap around my waist.

"You sure you're good? It's been two weeks," Jon said, nuzzling against the back of my neck.

"Exactly. It's been two weeks," I said, turning around and wrapping my arms around his neck. "I don't know about you, but I think that's long enough."

Jon's grin was one that could light up the dim nursery. Without saying another word, he scooped me up in his arms and carried me back to our bedroom.

The morning came before we were ready for it to. I nuzzled against my husband's bare chest, sighing contently as the baby cries came through the speaker.

"I got them!" I heard Sarah tell us through the door.

Jon muttered something unintelligible, hugging me tightly. Thankfully we got a few more hours of sleep before we were forced to get out of bed.

"It's been two weeks since the twins were born," I explained to the cameras later. "I've already lost ten pounds from the baby weight and today, I'm getting to join Jon, Seth, and Roman at the gym for the first time in months."

It's been far too long since I've been able to do a real workout. I skip past Jon as we entered through the doors of the gym.

"You're certainly happy," Seth noted.

"The twins are with Sarah, I got laid this morning, _and_ I get to lift weights! Yeah, it's a good day."

"Geez, Jess. Too much information," Roman teased, lightly punching me in the shoulder.

"Screw you, I'm happy," I said.

"No, that's my job," Jon said, giving me a playful slap on my butt.

"Haha," I chuckled, shaking my head.

"Alright, you two. Let's get to work," Roman said, shoving me forward to the bar to stretch.

I detested having to use smaller weights than I was before I got pregnant, but I knew my body wouldn't take too well to diving in head first like I used to. The guys playfully teased me about being slower than they were but that didn't bother me. I was just happy to be there.

After the workout and lunch, I was surprised to find Lexi, Nikki and Brie, and AJ at the house.

"Where's Phil?" I asked.

"Who knows," AJ said with a shrug.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Didn't you hear?" Nikki asked.

"Heard what?" I asked again.

I've been in my own little word these last two weeks. I hadn't been on Twitter or even turned my computer on.

"Phil walked out," AJ told me.

"Walked out on what?"

"The company, Jess. Punk quit," Brie told me.

I was astonished. I sat looking at my friends for several minutes, waiting for someone to say it was a joke but no one did.

"Are you serious?" I asked.

"I'm surprised you didn't know," Lexi said.

"I've been a little busy."

I looked over at Jon who could only shrug and shake his head. Seth seemed to break under my heated gaze.

"Oh, hell. Jess, he wants to be left alone," Seth told me.

I reached out my hand. "Can you hand my cell phone to me?"

"Jessie, he isn't talking to anyone. Not even me or Colt," AJ told me.

"Phone, Seth," I said, my voice much more stern.

My friend sighed, handing over the device. AJ tried to stop me as I pulled up my call list.

"He doesn't want to talk to anyone," AJ repeated.

"I'm not anyone," I told her, hitting the call button.

Phil answered on the third ring.

"Yeah," he roughly said.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd swear you've been drinking," I said.

"Good thing you know better," Phil responded.

No, he wasn't drunk. I knew that voice. I could hear the exhaustion and the despondency that always follows.

"You know that if you are close to the edge, you should call me so I can talk you down."

"I didn't want to be talked down, Jess. Besides, you've had your hands full lately."

"Damn it, Phil. Talk to me."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes."

There was a long silence before he spoke again, his voice sounding softer than I've ever heard before.

"I'm done."

"No, you're not," I admonished. "You're CM Punk. You have ton left in the tank."

"But I don't want to. You knew I had no intentions on re-signing my contract in July."

"And so you walk out in February?"

"Something like that."

"What happened?"

"Nothing particularly happened. I just...I'm not where I want to be, you know? In life and in wrestling. Just...don't."

"So you walk out instead of trying to do something?"

"Jessie, what the hell am I supposed to do? Staying isn't going to change anything."

"So you leave and your fans are left with questions."

"Jessie-"

"Fly down here," I ordered.

"What?" He sounded a little shocked by my tone more than the statement.

"Come down here, spend some time with the girls, meet the twins. Let's talk about this," I insisted.

"Come on, Jess. I just want to be left alone."

"I didn't ask you what you wanted, Philip. Either you come down or we'll fly up."

There's another long pause. "I'll catch the first flight out."

"Good man."


End file.
